Gerald D'Cunha

  “The successful among us delay gratification. The successful among us bargain with the future.” Jordan B. Peterson (12 Rules for Life – an Antidote to Chaos)   L ately, my wife and I have begun to have early dinner… mostly around 6 or 6.30 in the evening. Then, take a light breakfast around 9 or 10 in the morning. This  gives us a window or 13 – 16 hours. We have become used to it, now… Earlier, when the dinner used to be at 10 or 11 and retiring time used to be immediately after that, seeing my Jain friends completing their last meal before the sunset and taking their breakfast after the sunset – and the hospitals serving dinner to patients around 7 p. m. … yes, seeing all this, I used to wonder, “How can they follow such an eating habit… Dinner at 6 or 7…?” Even, for a blood test, when we were asked to keep a 12-hour fast, it felt like a mission impossible! Well, with age and sickness comes wisdom, too! My wife and I woke up to this ancient discipline of eating with a longer window

    “We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for others’ mistakes.” Anonymous   F or most of us, judging others comes very easily; it comes very early, too. I have a long way to go before I can claim, that I judge others less and judge not too early. There is an anonymous saying: “If you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who are still asleep.” The truth in my case is, that I am one of those who are still asleep… Awakening seems distant, as far as judging others early is concerned… I still judge others too early… And, I can see from where this old habit of mine comes: My prejudice, my insecurity, my impatience, my lack of empathy, my intolerance, my self-righteousness… ego. From where else can it come? The virtue of judging others not often and not too early, therefore, seems a distant goal to reach, for me… I remember sharing this Note in one of our books (‘Blind Spots’) published nearly thirty-five years ago:   LIG

  “A man trusts another man when he sees enough of himself in him.” Gregory David Roberts   T rust is a very fragile thing… It takes a long time to build; but, it can break in no time. And, I am talking about trust in our day-to-day dealings… I have seen how ferocious animals come to trust gentle humans… dogs, cats, deer, dolphins, bears, tigers, lions, elephants – every animal responds to gentle gestures from humans. But, invariably, this trust in humans is won slowly with patience and persistence. On the other hand, we humans adopt a different approach to our fellow humans… We don’t trust easily our fellow humans… We read too much into their behaviour, doubt more, stay skeptical. I know, I cannot generalize this phenomenon, though. But, I can safely say this: Trust breed s trust; mistrust breeds mistrust… In the sessions I take for the underprivileged kids, there are these two boys (about the age 9-10). They attend regularly; but, they are extremely restless and misch

“You never appreciate your anonymity until you don’t have it anymore.” Jason Priestley   I am conscious of the two movements within me… One is a strong desire to be in the limelight – to be more and more famous, recognized, hailed. The other is an equally strong desire to be away from the limelight – to be anonymous, private and quiet… I think, it’s a strange irony in our lives: When we are away from these big cities, we desire to be here. When we are here, we desire to be away from these cities… Poor want to be rich – famous and powerful. When they reach there - and if they are in touch with the two internal movements I just spoke about – I am sure, they, most certainly, desire to go back to their quiet life… Of course, not to go back to the financial poverty, but to go back to the richness of their spirit… O ne of the things, my wife and I regularly do is walk along the beautiful Marine Drive promenade, mostly in the evenings… It’s packed with tens and thousands of people

  “Eating together is an act of mutual vulnerability and surrender.” Barbara Brown Taylor   M other Mary’s birthday is celebrated as Nativity feast by the Catholics. In Konkani, we would call it ‘Monthy Fest’. For Catholic   families, in and around Mangalore, it was a big festival, and we celebrate it on every Sept 8. The most important part of the celebration, for every household, has, always, been eating together the feast meal, known as ‘Novem’… While growing up, we had no dining tables. So, we had to sit together on the floor and a fare of half-a-dozen veggies, rice, paysam and the new grains of rice ground into coconut milk was savoured with prayers. Our grandpa (dad’s dad), always, choked while saying the prayers, remembering the family members who were away from home… and, it’s for my mom to continue with it! The banana leaf had so many items of vegetarian fare, which, as children, we never appreciated… I remember eating it half-heartedly. Our mom’s attempts to dril