Gerald D'Cunha

  He, who does not understand your silence, will, probably, not understand your words.” Elbert Hubard   W hen two of us keep shouting at each other, the winner is, always, the one who shouts the louder. By this logic, we are warned not to engage in a shouting match... unless we aspire to be shouting champions... You see, none of us is a gentle angel here... We all shout at one another... That’s our default defence-mechanism... And this: we show more patience, restraint, tolerance, empathy and gentleness when we communicate with ‘outsiders’; and, we, generally, show impatience and lack of sensitivity when we communicate with ‘our own’... Yes, I am no exception. It’s said, when we are intimately close, we don’t even need to whisper... Our silence speaks. And, when angry, we are emotionally so distanced, that we need to shout, yell, scream... Rumi says: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field I’ll meet you there. When the soul lie...

“When the roots are deep, there is no need to fear the wind.” Chinese Proverb   A dear friend of mine holds an important position in a global company. He is currently posted in Vietnam. Yesterday, I received a call from him, saying, that he’s on a holiday in India (Mumbai) and wished to meet me. During the conversation, I learnt a great deal about the Chinese New Year – its long tradition and significance... How it’s celebrated, not only in Main China, but in various South Asian countries, and, even, in many other parts of the world. In every culture, there is this concept called ‘New Year’... and, the idea of ‘coming home’ to celebrate has been rooted deep in the psyche of these cultures. Our own (Catholic) Feast of Nativity (Sept 8, which is celebrated as Mother Mary’s birthday), Onam, Pongal, Yugadi, Vishu, Baisakhi, Chaath Puja – to mention a few – are the occasions to come home to celebrate the roots... My friend described to me how, during the Chinese New Year ce...

  “Values aren’t buses. They’re not supposed to get you anywhere... They’re supposed to define who you are.” Jennifer Crusie   I n his last episode of KBC, I saw Amitabh Bachchan calling on stage his loyal hair-stylist, Deepak Sawant, and speaking about him (Deepak Sawant) very emotionally. It was, most probably, Amitabh Bachchan’s last KBC episode. Considering his age (83), I don’t think, he might take up a high-pressure assignment like KBC anymore. But, who knows about tomorrow? During more than half-a-century of his career – from acting to hosting, from voiceovers, commercials to trying his hand in politics and business – I have seen, more than once, Amitabh ‘stepping aside’... calling it a day... only to reinvent himself – and make a triumphant come back! And, through it all, there was one man in his life who stood behind him, like his constant shadow – and, that man was Deepak Sawant... Yes, though thick and thin, as it’s said. In professional life, Loyalt...

  “We all see only  that which we are trained to see.” Robert Anton Wilson S hadab is a gentleman... a ‘gentle man’, I said. He is an educated man... I said an ‘educated’ man. Some years ago, when he and his wife came to live in the housing society, I was its Chairman. When he moved in, he had one daughter, Maham, who is now in her early teens. Just when Covid broke out, our family moved to a flat (owned by my brother-in-law) in a nearby society. Our own flat, meanwhile, is under lock and key. I am very fond of young kids. I want them to develop the reading habit. Hence, for many years, I have been gifting our books to several kids. Maham has been a beneficiary of these books. One of the many books I had gifted to Maham was titled ‘I am Good, The World is Good’. The  book had an apt baseline – ‘Jaisi Dhrishti, Waisi Shrishti’. The book was intended to sensitize young kids to develop an inclusive outlook towards the society... help them stay away from social and re...

  O ne of the nails you and I hammer while we raise our houses of failure is - giving up when we feel discouraged. Trust me, it’s not easy to be optimistic and stay hopeful when this nail hits us hard. But, then, one thing is sure: If you and I love life, believe in the goodness our hearts possess – and, above all, if we recognize how fortunate we are for the blessings God has bestowed upon us, yes, right through this deep sense of gratitude for the gift of life, all our feelings of discouragement can dissolve. Nothing is going to cripple our souls till we choose to celebrate life... All of us start dreaming, because we believe in our innate goodness... not because other believe in us. Others belief in us can be a great help, but not before we believe in our own selves... Giving up when discouraged – when people say ‘No’, or show discouragement – yes, giving up when discouraged is a pure excuse. As Jim Rohn puts it, it’s a nail we allow ourselves to be hit hard with -   ...

  “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb   M y wife and I had attended the wedding reception of Chandini, who was my student, ten years ago. Her brother Suraj and their father Prakash – all had been my students, particularly that of the Personality Development programme conducted by The Dawn Club. Chandini’s three cousins, Kanchan, Shradha and Sneha, and even Kanchan’s son Kapil – all of them had been students of these programmes. Yesterday, at the reception, I had the privilege of meeting all of them and several more. I am talking about many students who crossed my path over past forty or so years. Almost all of them, are, now, well-placed in life. And, almost all of them tell me proudly, that they keep talking about me to their young children, who, now, go to the ‘finest schools’ around the world. Shradha, who lives in Netherlands, was so excited to see me, that she, oblivious of the guests around her, was a...

  “In learning, you will teach; in teaching, you will learn.” Phil Collins   “I heard a speaker once saying, after quoting the poem (No Time to Stand and Stare):   Stand and stare at the toothless smile of a baby, the graceful gliding of a bird, the hue of a flower in bloom, the rippling water, the lashing waves. These words, somehow, stayed in my mind to be reminded through your blog just now. Thanks Gerry.” K amala Parthasarathy ma’am was my colleague in Atomic Energy Junior college when I started my teaching career there, sometime in 1980. She was a senior and popular English teacher, and I was a fresh import from my gaon (Mangalore) – just 20-plus... very raw, nervous and inexperienced. I had carried with me my low self-esteem, which, I would, now, try to camouflage with newly-injected steroid called ‘Positive Thinking’... Courtesy -   Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale and their fraternity. I was so full of this positive psy...