Gerald D'Cunha

  “Happiness, not in another place, but this place… not for another hour, but this hour.” Walt Whitman   A dear friend’s elderly father is presently in one of Mumbai’s reputed hospitals. My wife and I were quite concerned about the situation our friend had to go through. This friend of ours lived abroad and back home, here, the elderly father has been facing many health-related challenges. Our friend, who has been making frequent trips to India, is gracefully accepting her challenges. The family abroad and family here – she is torn between these two responsibilities of hers… Last noon, my wife and I had visited the hospital. Our friend, despite the two back-to-back surgeries performed on her 83-year-old father, seemed composed… “Anything we can do, please let’s know.” We say this to our near and dear ones in their testing times. But, how much can we really do to lighten their burdens? As I write this piece, my thoughts go to at least a dozen people who are close...

  “I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives; I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.” Abraham Lincoln   I really admire the young men and women who burn with the ideal of serving in the armed forced. Similarly, I admire the young men and women who burn with ideal of serving the nation through Civil Services, such as IAS, IPS, IRS, IFS etc. There is an inherent charm around these professions, and most of us look up to these professions with a lot of respect… A young boy, by the name Akshat Ghosh, wanted to be an Air Force pilot. He will be concluding his training at the Hyderabad Air Force Academy, this December. I know this boy and his family. Right since he was a little boy, he dreamt of being there – and, as he grew young, he did. His NDA journey and training saga are brilliantly narrated by his dad, Purushottam, in our latest book – ‘Follow Your True North’. It has not been an easy journey… It’s extremely tough. That’s ...

“We’ve all got the light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” Sirius Black in Harry Potter    N o. Shyness doesn’t go. It’s something beautiful about you… Your essence, your core. For God’s sake, recognize it, accept it, respect it, and celebrate it… Yes, I tell this to hundreds of worried parents. “Has your own shyness gone?” I, often, ask them. “Had you been to a psychologist or a Personality Development centre to root it out?” When you try to root out your shyness, you root out your essence, your core… What you leave behind is a distorted you, not the authentic you. Well, all this may sound very fictional for the uninitiated. A couple of days ago, a young, married woman had come to see me. She wanted to be a corporate trainer on ‘wellness’. “I want to learn voice modulation and right diction,” she kept insisting… “You don’t need them, madam,” I kept reminding her, “What you need is the belief in you...

“Either you vegetate and look out of a window; or you activate and try to effect change.” Christopher Reeve   M y wife and I have watched on last two Sundays, back-to-back, two out-of-this-world movies – ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ and ‘Superman’. You see, it’s best to get lost in these fantasy worlds, now and then, knowing very well, that neither the dinosaurs nor the Superman live in this ‘real world’. But, when you wear those dark 3-D glasses and transport yourself into the fantasy worlds – yes, yes, yes, it can be the best medicine for  your worried and wounded souls… The Jurassic Park and the Superman movies we had watched years ago – for the first time – and, now, these latest ones – yes, they did succeed in captivating our hearts. May they continue to do so for centuries to come… The child in me doesn’t want to grow up… That’s something nice, na? L ast evening, on our way to the multiplex to watch ‘Superman’, I fondly remembered Late Christopher Reeve. He was the first Sup...

  “Social media has become a self-esteem management tool  and everyone is building their brand. But, it’s not authentic; it’s hollow.” Emily Leary, blogger and Social Media consultant   I came across the above quote from Emily, a blogger like me (Correction: I am a blogger like her!)… but, unlike her, I am not a Social Media consultant… But, yes, what madam Emily says is one-hundred percent true… My relentless blogging finds its roots in my deep desire to manage my own self-esteem. I feel very, very good when I express in my daily blogs. But, does it end there? Mostly, it doesn’t. Invariably, the desire to promote myself – as a brand – takes over. No matter how much I deny it in public, there is this desire, this desperation to spread my wings, my reach – go viral, become a sensation… Yes, what counts, after some time - on being visible as a social media content creator - are pure numbers… subscribers, viewership, likes, comments, shares etc. But, that’s no...

  “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso   I n last two weeks, I have personally visited, or consulted (over the phone), at least   half-a-dozen specialist doctors in connection with my wife’s health. Well, these doctors, as I said, are specialists and extremely busy people. People wait patiently for their turn to come, at times, for hours… That’s why they are called ‘patients’… Patience! “I can think, I can wait, I can fast”… I remembered Siddhartha’s famous reply to the question – “What work can you do best?” I am talking about the protagonist in Hermann Hesse’s famous novel ‘Siddhartha’ (and the movie by he same name starring Shashi Kapoor and Simi Garewal).The wanderer monk, Siddhartha’, was hired because of this response – “I can think, I can fast and I can wait.” L ate last night, one of my old students called me. “Sir, I am your ex-student, Siddharth Punjabi,” he introduced himself. Then, he e...

  “People are, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered…   Love them anyway.” Dr. Kent M. Keith   W hen we say, ‘Humans are complex beings’, it includes all of us. If I think, others’ behaviour is, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered, others, by all probability, would think the same way about my behaviour… People are thankless… Well, people say, I, too, am… One of the toughest things to do for me is to take things less personally – if not completely avoid taking it so. My interpretations of others’ behaviour – their mood swings, sulkings, reactions, words etc. – are the reasons why there are mood swings and sulkings in me, too. So, why someone behaves towards me the way he/she does – well, the more I refrain from interpreting and weaving stories around it, the better it is for my mental hygiene… You see, I have no control on others’ behaviour. Their mood swings, reactions, blame, accusations – are not my creations; it’s their own… Ju...

  “Sometimes, truths are what we run from; sometimes, they are what we seek.” R. D. Ronald   “L ook at me when I teach; your eyes listen more than your ears.” Invariably, I say this to my young students, a dozen times, every day. From my teaching experience of nearly five decades (I started teaching when I was about 17… and, this month, I will be 67!), I have come to realize this: We fully ‘listen’ when our ears and eyes both pay attention. In fact, eyes do a better job… But, then, I have realized this, too… The ears may hear and eyes may see, but true listening takes place only when our hearts are open, only when we listen from our hearts… So, fifty years or hundred years – I wonder, how many of my students have really ‘learnt’, really paid attention to my teaching… And, that applies to me as well - to their teacher… F or fifty long years, have I taught those thousands of young kids with my full attention… with the clean intention to help them, guide them, emp...