Gerald D'Cunha

  “People are, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered…   Love them anyway.” Dr. Kent M. Keith   W hen we say, ‘Humans are complex beings’, it includes all of us. If I think, others’ behaviour is, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered, others, by all probability, would think the same way about my behaviour… People are thankless… Well, people say, I, too, am… One of the toughest things to do for me is to take things less personally – if not completely avoid taking it so. My interpretations of others’ behaviour – their mood swings, sulkings, reactions, words etc. – are the reasons why there are mood swings and sulkings in me, too. So, why someone behaves towards me the way he/she does – well, the more I refrain from interpreting and weaving stories around them, the better it is for my mental hygiene… You see, I have no control on others’ behaviour. Their mood swings, reactions, blame, accusations – are not my creations; it’s their own… ...

  “Sometimes, truths are what we run from; sometimes, they are what we seek.” R. D. Ronald   “L ook at me when I teach; your eyes listen more than your ears.” Invariably, I say this to my young students, a dozen times, every day. From my teaching experience of nearly five decades (I started teaching when I was about 17… and, this month, I will be 67!), I have come to realize this: We fully ‘listen’ when our ears and eyes both pay attention. In fact, eyes do a better job… But, then, I have realized this, too… The ears may hear and eyes may see, but true listening takes place only when our hearts are open, only when we listen from our hearts… So, fifty years or hundred years – I wonder, how many of my students have really ‘learnt’, really paid attention to my teaching… And, that applies to me as well - to their teacher… F or fifty long years, have I taught those thousands of young kids with my full attention… with the clean intention to help them, guide them, emp...

  “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” Mandy Hale   W e do not have all the answers. Do we? Neither do we have a solution for every problem of people around us, nor do we have a solution for every problem of our own… Others seek help from us, we seek help from others… When I need medical help, I approach my doctors… When their young ones need help in studies or other developmental issues, doctors approach me… This is ‘world’… a place where I need you for something, and you need me for something… We are all inter-dependent, you see. A n old friend of mine – who is in his late forties – called me up last evening. He is a family man… His wife is a homemaker, and two kids are still in school… My friend has just lost his job. “Can I see you any time tomorrow?” My friend asked. We have agreed to meet in the afternoon, today… But, my friend knows, that I would not be able to f...

  “Learn character from trees, values from roots,   and change from leaves.” Tasneern Harneed   W hen I was a kid in our native village, we had thick jungles around… lots of trees, ponds, hills and streams. As a young boy, I don’t remember harboring a dream of living in such a setting – in the woods surrounded by trees, ponds, hills and streams. Yes, like other young kids, I, too, yearned to go away to a big city like Bombay and live in this concrete jungle… To my grandparents, eating on banana or teakwood leaves, cooking food in earthen pots, and drinking with cups made of mud or coconut shells – yes, this was the normal way of life, a bare necessity. But, here in these big cities, eating on banana or teakwood leaves, cooking in earthen pots, or drinking with cups made of mud or   coconut shells – isn’t a bare necessity, anymore. But, if we do it consciously -   eat on banana or teakwood leaves, cook in earthen pots, or drink in cups made of mud or ...

  “The conflict between the need to belong to a group and the need to be seen as unique and individual are the dominant struggle of adolescence.” Jeanne Eliam   W henever someone tells me, that the struggle and the challenges, which today’s adolescents have to face, are far graver than the ones faced by the earlier generations – yes, whenever someone tells me that, I reflect on my own adolescence and ask: Did I find my own struggles and challenges (of adolescence) less daunting than my son found his? The delicate, turbulent transition between puberty and adulthood is adolescence. Roughly, it’s the phase of a teenager’s life. Even though, for some, it may start early and last longer, no man or woman can escape this transition… I went though mine; my parents and forefathers went through theirs… and, our children and their children will have to go through theirs… Yes, some describe it as the ‘terrible time’… Lonely time… Confusing time… Time of ‘shutting the door’… ...

  “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing.” George Bernard Shaw   W hether we like it or not, and whether we want it or not, we age… the body and the mind begin to lose their vitality, their responses. To some, the deterioration comes faster, and to some, a little later… but, it does come, Sir. None of us will stay eternally young, dashing, agile, alert, attractive - and making headlines. Even if we want to, we won’t be able to… Hema Malini was, once, a dream girl, right? She fell for a very, very handsome married man, Dharmendra… Today, Hema Malini is relatively active via politics (Even though, some of us wonder what has been her contribution in that sphere!). Dharmendra, apparently, spends most of his time in his farms… But, every time I watch this Sholaywala Veeru and compare him with his ‘dost’ – Jai, aka , Amitabh Bachchan, I wonder, why Jai is still there in that space, and Veeru, sadly, isn’t! L ike most around me...

  “Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion: ‘How are you?’ is a greeting, not a question.” Arthur Gulterman   I do not know the context in which Arthur Gulterman said what you read in the above quote; but, every time I send greetings to others, or receive them from   others, this quote pops up to make my heart smile… During the Lockdown, like everyone else, I couldn’t go to a barber shop (You may call it a Salon or Studio)… the Urban Clap sent the barber (Hair stylist) home. Mine was this young, enthusiastic man called Saba Ansari… I stuck to him... I never saw a barber shop ever since… Saba was with Enrich before joining Urban Clap. But, he is on his own, now. He has built a strong base of loyal customers, that he doesn’t need the shoulders of Enrich or Urban Clap, anymore… He is not even 25…. Married, has a little kid, and works from dawn to dusk… Yesterday, when our doorbell rang and I opened the door, I was pleasantly surprised to see Saba… He ...

  “Light yourself on fire with passion, and people will come from miles to watch you burn.” John Wesley   A couple of weeks ago, a 60-year-old woman called me. Apparently, she had asked, on one of the FB groups, about a place where Public Speaking was taught for ‘adults’… And, you know how willingly - and, often, weirdly - some of us are ready with our responses. The woman, must’ve received dozens of recommendations… many saying, ‘So and so person/place is the best.’ When the woman called me, she said what one of the young girls, who had attended our Public-speaking course, had written on FB: “Gerry Sir… the best in the entire world!!!” The woman and I both laughed at it… and, then, started discussing about why the she was keen to learn the public-speaking skill… The woman said, that she was a pastor at a certain Christian congregation and felt she lacked the gift of speaking with passion. “I need to speak like great evangelists,” she said… I remembered a hu...