Gerald D'Cunha

  “My father did not tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” Clarence Budington Kelland   M y wife casually remarked, last night, “This Sunday will be Father’s Day.” Frankly, till I heard it from her, I wasn’t aware of it at all. But, instantly, I decided, that I would write something about ‘being a father’ in my Blog today. So, here I am doing it… Thanks to my wife’s reminder, I, also, learnt, that this day called ‘Father’s Day’ was traditionally celebrated in America on the third Sunday of June. Well, it’s nothing short of a revelation to me… ‘Jab jaago tab sabera’! And, when I say ‘America’, I am able to recall what Barack Obama - my favourite former President of this nation - wrote in his second book:   “Someone once said, that every man tries to live up to his father’s expectations, or make up for his father’s mistakes.” I am asking this to myself on the eve of Father’s Day: Have I been trying to live up to my father’s expectatio...

  “They come through you, but not from you; and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’   T here are some things we inherit from our fathers. If we wish to call them DNA or genes, let’s do. But, to blindly put it on our fathers is plain ignorance… It’s not fair! The saying, ‘Like father, like son’ – ‘As is the father, so is the son’ – has come from the Latin origin: “Qualis pater, talis filius”. But, I don’t think, that it is so either in Rome or anywhere else in the world! Between the father and the son, no doubt, there is blood connection. But, there is, also, that invisible, yet all-powerful, filter called ‘Our Choices’… Yes, just as the father made his own choices, the son makes his own. Period. My father was a born extrovert; I was a born touch-me-not! He, regaled strangers with his raw talent for singing (Konkani folksongs) at every available social venue; I desperately hid myself from everyone! He was an andhb...

T here are three reasons why I write (rather re-share) this Post, today. First reason: Tomorrow, 18 th June, will be a ‘Father’s Day’. The second reason: A young girl, who is a niece of my dear friend and who is all set to walk into a college, had been having a turbulent relationship with her father right since she was a little baby. The problems stemmed from the marital trouble between the parents and the little girl was caught in the whirlpool… As she grew up, this girl harboured a great deal of hatred for her father… For years, the mother and daughter lived separately and then again went back to live with the man… The wounds haven’t healed yet… The girl hasn’t accepted her father in her heart… It is a huge burden to carry for a 15-year-old and… It has torn her internally. When this young girl had come to see me accompanied by my friend, her aunt, I listened to her with loads of compassion. I knew how important it was for her to make peace with her father… startin...

Pic.:Anand Sreedhar Y esterday was a Sunday… Early in the morning, I learnt that it was a ‘Father’s Day’. The first thought that crossed my mind was very funny one: ‘Who decides all these days… Who prepares this ‘special calendar’?” My dad died in 1984… More than 30 years ago. I have written about him in so many of my blogs and spoken about him at so many places, that, for me, to post a blog on a Father’s Day wasn’t a task at all… Still, I did not write a word yesterday… I didn’t feel like. Did it make me a less deserving son of my late dad? I ncidentally, my 24-year-old ‘only son’ (who works in Pune) was here for a day. He had just returned after a two-week trip to Netherlands. He left for Pune at 7 in the evening, yesterday. We had long discussion through the day… and had spoken on many different issues. Interestingly, neither he had remembered to wish me ‘Happy Father’s Day’, nor was I expecting him to do that… Did it make my son a less des...

Pic.: Geeta Kulkarni L ast night, there was this message in my FB inbox. It was from Sushil Shankar, a dear old student and friend of mine. He wrote: “Hi Gerry sir, I read your post on Father’s Day. It inspired me to write on my father, too. Please read and evaluate.” T oday my daughter wished me “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY”. It made me go back in my past… I lost my father to diabetes 32 years ago. He had just crossed 50 years. He was a Diabetes-Mellitus patient, with foot ulcers. Later on, he developed kidney failures and died during dialysis procedure. His body couldn’t bear the dialysis, which already was suffering the after-effects of medication and diabetes. When my dad was alive, I don’t remember celebrating a Father’s Day or any such days which are in vogue now. Only my and my brothers’ birthdays were what we celebrated. We never celebrated our dad’s birthday. I have one sibling left, and he doesn’t even know our father’s date of birth! My fathe...