Gerald D'Cunha

A friend of mine did not speak to his eldest brother for the last five years. They were five siblings. Their father, on his death, had left substantial property. There was dispute and misunderstanding over the property issue ever since their father had passed away. My friend took whatever share, given to him by the eldest brother, and moved out. But, rest of the siblings expected a fair share… The bitterness had broken down all the  communication and the siblings did not visit their ancestral house. Though they did not hold grudges against each other, something always prevented them from resolving the issue. Occasionally, my friend would meet some members of his brother’s family somewhere outside; but, he couldn't bring himself to reconcile with his brother... And, one afternoon, this happened. Some children from the neighborhood, while playing cricket, were creating a ruckus outside. Agitated, my friend’s brother picked a fight with the adult members of the n...

M y last Post was about forgiving and forgetting. It revolved around the popular claim, that it is relatively easier to forgive than to forget. In most of our lives, I think, the unpleasant incidents that have happened in the past may not be of ‘extreme’ kind. Yes, someone may have hurt us by words or actions; someone may have cheated us financially or in relationship; or, it may be some family dispute or rivalry, may be a bad misunderstanding and so on. Sexual abuse and violence are more traumatic… not easy to forgive or forget. There are even more extreme and traumatic experiences in people’s lives… Some of these people have shown us how they have made peace with them… If forgiving someone is tough, seeking forgiveness is even tougher. Particularly, when the offence is very, very grave and trauma is extremely intense… I was raised as a Christian. So, Jesus Christ’s act of forgiveness, even as He was battling for life from his cross, is, indeed, an extreme cas...