Gerald D'Cunha

  “Kaise kaise ko diya hai… Aise vaiso ko diya hai Mujh ko bhi toh lift karade… Thodi si toh lift karade” From Adnan Sami’s song, ‘Lift Karade’   W ell, I do not know about you. But, the only times I heard or used the word ‘Viral’ was when there was an ordinary fever – the fever in the air, caused by some ordinary virus. For major fevers like Malaria, Typhoid etc., one never used that term… That was before the internet boom… Before FB, Instagram, YouTube and the like came up to spread this digital virus – so fast, so far, that people like me started wondering as Adnan Sami did… “Kaise kaise ko diya hai… Aise vaiso ko diya hai Mujh ko bhi toh lift karade… Thodi si toh lift karade” “Going viral isn’t random, magic or luck… It’s a science,” says Johah Berger. So, in the school/college curriculum, it’s time, they added this new science – ‘Science of going Viral’! Adnan Sami was a visionary writer and singer… Just listen to his lyrics and the song. Remember, he di...

  “Stop pushing so hard on the door looking for happiness… It opens inward.” Unknown   N ot many years ago, the wedding videos used to run into hours. Now, they don’t even run into a few minutes. But, the cost of making these 2-minutes-long wedding- videos is phenomenally higher than making those hours-long wedding-videos of yesteryear… Not that there has been inflation in cost; but, there is an unbelievable deflation   in our attitude towards happiness in life… So, each wedding video that we come across gives us the same high as watching a well-crafted movie – Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood, Tollywood or even Bhojpuri… It’s all the same. Made to create an impact… But, then, a wedding is a day, an event… Marriage is a long, long journey together. A lifetime! Thus, every time, I watch a surreal wedding-video, that exports us to a fantasy land, I reflect on my own three-decades-long marital journey… I ask: Has it been so perfect and glossy as it is made to look...

  “The greatest single achievement of Nature to date   was surely the invention of the molecule DNA.” Lewis Thomas H ow big is really big? And how much is really much? The ‘bigness’ and ‘muchness’, somehow, don’t lure me anymore. But, it wasn’t so, many years ago, when success meant ‘how big’ the numbers were… How many students I had (How many branches), how much I earned, how popular and widely known I was… What I began to realize, over time, was this: If I let ‘size’ and ‘popularity’ to decide the state of my happiness, then, that very need could become a constant source of my anxiety and worry. Because, deep in in my heart, I knew, that ‘size’ and ‘popularity’ would slide… When they did, would I be prepared to ‘accept’ the reality? “What goes up comes down!” It’s not just a Law in Physics, it’s a Law in Life, too. The most beautiful pageants - ‘Miss Universe’ and ‘Miss World’ - and ‘The Strongest Man on Earth’ – haven’t they all shrunken? What about ‘The Fas...

“But, wishes are only granted in fairy tales.” Simone Elkeles T he reason why some tales are called ‘Fairy Tales’ is, because, they, always, end with this wonderful ending: ‘And they lived happily ever after’! If Fairies don’t exist, how can you expect to live happily ever after? They both exist only in our childish fantasies… Often, meant to put us to sleep! Some thirty-odd years ago – yes, I was a young man then – a very experienced and elderly teacher pointed to a casual phrase I had written and asked me, ‘What do you mean by this?” The phrase was ‘Lasting Happiness’! I, instantly, found myself stumped! Before it was too late, I pulled out that weed from my vocabulary. Since then, to me, ‘Happiness’ – yes, it does exist. ‘Lasting Happiness’ – No, it doesn’t! Just as Fairies… Just as that mirage of living happily ever after! I think, the Pursuit of Happiness should be a pursuit in this real world… Not in the ‘other world’… the world of Fairies! ...

“The sky is not the limit; but, your thoughts are.” Debasish Mridha “S ky is the limit!” This statement is very inspiring, very, very empowering. It reminds us, that we have unimaginable amount of potential within us… We should, always, challenge our limitations; we should, always, aim high… Yes, aim at the sky! Like most around me, I, too, chased the ‘sky’ for several years. It took many disappointments and disillusionment to drill a deep hole in my head and put this in: “Hello, sky doesn’t exist… except in your illusions.” I became painfully aware of the reality, that I was not prepared to deal with a ‘Sky fall’. The voice kept warning me: “If you chase the sky, be ready for the sky fall, too!” Most of us are blindly addicted to the ‘sky’: We want to be big, bigger and the biggest. We want to go high, higher and the highest. There is no area in life – right from business to education, from entertainment, media, self-help to spirituality – which is free...

“There is no security in life;  only opportunity.” Mark Twain “I f you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost,” said Henry David Thoreau, “That is where they should be. Now, put the foundation under them.” Do these words make sense, today? I do not know about you; but, yes, they do make a lot of sense to me… When all that I did – for nearly 62 years of my life – suddenly appears to me as just those castles in the air! Suddenly, someone has shaken me very hard and made me realize, that my castles still lie suspended in the air, without any foundation at all! So, what should I do, now? Let my castle-building work, of over six decades, go wasted? Or, start focusing on the foundation work? “Man proposes, and God disposes.” How casually we have all said these words! And these, too: “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making your other plans!” Yes, what’s that you and I were busy doing all th...

“What happened was the best thing that could happen.” -           Byron Katie       E very time I react to what happens in my life – that is, to the situations in my life – I know, that I do it due to my lack of understanding. Yes, I react in my ignorance. The more I understand, the less I react… to all kinds of situations in life. Broadly, all situations in life can be clubbed into two groups: those which make us happy and those which make us sad. Most of us get carried away by both of these… We lose our equanimity. Wisdom comes through understanding… Through seeing the transient nature of things… The illusion and delusion! What looks like a lucky situation may bring with it a misfortune, and what looks like a misfortune may bring with it a fortune. Hence, it is sensible to keep our equanimity and greet every situation with a smile… wisely and gracefully. A story that helps me...

“The house of fame, he thought, is built on melting ice, not steel...”  ―  Anya Seton ,  Katherine O n my way back from bank, I met a couple who have been living in New Zealand for more than two decades. I knew this couple well when they were here in Mumbai. Today, the first comment I made to them was: “You haven’t changed at all!” “I was about to say that to you,” said the husband. “I agree,” added the wife. Not changed at all? In what respect? All of us had put on a lot of weight… We all had grayed… and, yes, we all were not looking as young and dashing as we did years ago… Then, why did we all think of each other as ‘Not changed at all”? Probably, because: they had seen me, twenty years ago, without a car or a wrist watch… And, today, they were seeing me without a car or a wrist watch, too… They had seen me, then, visiting my bank, and they were seeing it today, too… Perhaps, they were finding no change...