Gerald D'Cunha

“When you make peace with yourself, You make peace with the world.” -       Maha Ghosananda T raditionally, the term ‘Jobless’ has been used to convey these two meanings: 1. One has no employment – no source of earning 2. One has job – a source of earning – yet, he cannot go to the workplace… There is a third meaning, which, most of us have wanted to convey by saying, “He is jobless.” … Yes, “Koi kaam dhandha nahin hai”… “Bekaar baita hai”… Today, the meaning of all these three versions of ‘Joblessness’ – becomes so clyster clear as the roads, skies and seas, even the deserts of Dubai, are! We are all ‘jobless’ today, in one sense or the other…   But, let’s not put the blame and curse on poor Corona … The curse has already befallen us! So, we, the so-far-so-good folks – the jobless ones - are on our cellphones, laptops, computers or tabs and doing a million things, without kno...

M y last Post was about forgiving and forgetting. It revolved around the popular claim, that it is relatively easier to forgive than to forget. In most of our lives, I think, the unpleasant incidents that have happened in the past may not be of ‘extreme’ kind. Yes, someone may have hurt us by words or actions; someone may have cheated us financially or in relationship; or, it may be some family dispute or rivalry, may be a bad misunderstanding and so on. Sexual abuse and violence are more traumatic… not easy to forgive or forget. There are even more extreme and traumatic experiences in people’s lives… Some of these people have shown us how they have made peace with them… If forgiving someone is tough, seeking forgiveness is even tougher. Particularly, when the offence is very, very grave and trauma is extremely intense… I was raised as a Christian. So, Jesus Christ’s act of forgiveness, even as He was battling for life from his cross, is, indeed, an extreme cas...

When I say “Sorry” to someone, and I really mean it, I expose to him my vulnerable side. If I do that - and, as I said, really meaning it - then, I have nothing left in me to defend myself!   “Peace is extremely important to both of us… So, I offer this unconditional apology to you… Please accept it… Do not keep any doubts; do not ask me any more questions… Do not remind me of any of my past mistakes - harsh words, or painful wounds… All that I can say is: I need your help to heal my wounds… and you need my help to heal your own… Let’s make peace as our conscious choice… and, let’s do it unconditionally.”… This is what goes through my mind, every time I expose my vulnerability and say “Sorry”. I yearn that the other person will accept my olive branch… that, he will not ask me any more questions… will not probe me further, remind me of my past mistakes… will not revive the pain of those wounds… Yes, I yearn for his helping hand… and, and I yearn for...

Hooo… teri bhakti ka vardaan hai Jo kamaye vo dhanvaan hai Bin kinare ki kashti hai vo.. Deva tujhse jo anjaan hai… it's the boon of devotion for you, who earns (this devotion) is rich.. (while) he is a boat with no shore, who does not know you… It was a packed batch, late evening, yesterday… I still had one more batch to go. I was in my best flow and everything was going well, except these three boys… the perennial trouble makers! After almost thirty-six years of teaching college kids (including teaching while still in college), I was no stranger to the restlessness, mischief, nuisance – whatever you call it – of some students. Yes, you can not expect all students to be equally nice… the basket does contain one or two bad apples. But, as they say, those one or two are enough to spoil the entire basket! It was happening in my class, last evening. In fact, it was happening for quite some time. I have been gently, tactfully and...

Someone had referred this young man to me. So, he came a month ago to seek my help in the three accounts subjects of T.Y. B’Com. He had failed in all three of them in the latest exams. Now, he was here with me seeking my help.  I took him in.  As I started teaching him over the days, I realized that he deeply disliked the subjects which he was learning from me. He wasn’t showing any enthusiasm, skipped the homework regularly with one excuse or another… and, when I became strict, he would skip the class the following day. Talking to his parents turned a futile exercise… as the young man seemed to detest their attempts to change him even further. So, it was high time I taught him something else before he learnt from me ‘accounts’! I changed gears, immediately. I started talking to him on a heart-to-heart level. Earlier, when I had made several attempt to drill in his head the ‘reminder’ that he had ‘failed’ and ‘...

Last afternoon, I was telling these young boy and girl, that they both had to ‘consciously’ work towards improving their relationship with their parents. “For you guys, everyone else should come later… yes, including your thick friends or your boy-friend or girl-friend,” I told them.  They were teenagers and they were in a relationship. Their parents did not know about it… and, they both were afraid, that their parents would spoil things if they came to know about it… and, I knew that telling youngsters, in such a situation, “Everyone else should come later… and, your parents first,” was too naive or ‘impractical’.  Parents are the biggest enemies… to any teenage couple. The love-birds! And, here was this old-man advising our new-age teenagers, “Sweethearts, take your parents into confidence… Win them over… Build your communication with them, bit by bit…. Layer by layer… do it consistently, consciously… do it with lots of patience…”...