Gerald D'Cunha

  “Your talent is God’s gift to you; What you do with your talent is your gift to God.” Leo Bascaglia   I n life, need we do only ‘big things’ to feel good about ourselves? And, need we do things only with great fanfare to find validation? Many a time, doing ‘small things’, quietly, seems not only unprofitable, but also unfashionable… But, trust me, doing ‘small things’, quietly, is the surest way to truly feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, the desire to do ‘big things’ with great fanfare is a bottomless pit… It seldom gives us a true feeling of self-confidence. Therefore, the key to self-confidence is to do small things with a big heart. One way of reaching out to others – by doing small things, quietly – is through our talents. We all know, that our talents are God’s gifts to us. And, as Leo Bascaglia says, “What we do with our talents is our gifts to God.” For example, God has given me the gift of teaching, writing and motivating others. I hav...

  “The way you do small things is the way you do all things.” Jens Wolffs   “W hy bad things happen to good people?" Well, in my view, this is not a good question. We shall never get an answer to this question… Never, ever. One of my favourite Gospel singers and songwriters is Dottie Rambo. I just love her lyrics and, of course, singing. She and her whole family devoted their lives singing glory to God… Then one day, during one of her successful tours, the bus carrying her and her group met with an accident (due to bad weather condition). While many got badly injured in this accident, the only person who lost her life was Dottie! “Of all the people, why Dottie, God?” I spend a lot of time listening to Dottie’s songs (sung by several other singers, too). Last afternoon, while listening to one of her touching songs, ‘Too Much to Gain, to Lose’, I heard her brother say this: “We don’t understand some of these things….” That’s all you and I, too, can console oursel...

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” Anonymous I t’s 5 in the evening as I type these words… It’s dark outside, and it’s pouring in torrents! Somewhere in Assam, China and other places, rivers and lakes have swollen and fiercely swallowing up the villages and towns. And, somewhere the earthquakes have flattened out what Man had built… And, everywhere, there is this dreaded virus, already. Some live as one big family, all together, in this lockdown… and some live alone, all alone. But, apparently, loneliness has nothing to do with the number of people we live with. I am sure, many, many, many may agree with me when I say this: You can live with a dozen people at home, yet feel lost and lonely. On the other hand, you may live all alone in the house, yet feel loved and protected… “Thank God, you are living with your family,” I said this, today, to someone who was endlessly cribbing about something, “Just be thankful.” Thanklessness is man’s worst v...

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln I have stopped using the phrases such as ‘a stress-free life’ or a ‘problems-free life’. Such life simply doesn’t exist. And, if any one promises me such a life, I simply say, ‘No… Thank you.” When people ask me why I write, I say, “Because, I feel confused, anxious, worried, joyful, sad, mad, angry, irritated, loved, betrayed, strong, weak, secure, insecure, jubilant, defeated… every feeling a human being goes through – and should go through – when he lives on the face of this planet… I tell them, that I write not because I am positive and happy always. But, let me confess: When I was younger, I used to, often, use the expressions a ‘stress-free life’ and a ‘problems-free life’. And, I did try to chase that life… only to be eluded like a mirage! Now, as the years roll by, I, more often, find myself using the expression...

“We have two lives and the second begins when you realize you only have one.” -           Mario de Andrade, Brazilian poet T here are only two kinds of people in this world: Those who want to be right, and those who want to be peaceful. T o the first kind, Life is never too short… They think, that Life is long enough for them to prove they are right. Proving to be right is central to their existence… Minus that obsession, that sole battle, there is no purpose for their lives. You see many of them waging their battles even from their death-beds… even when they know there is nothing to prove to anyone from a death-bed… even when the entire Life is wasted on a blind pursuit… Yes, they don’t mind taking their I-want-to-prove-‘am-right battle to the graveyard! T o the second kind, Life is too short to be wasted with mindless battles. The desire to live in peace is central...

“ Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”   ―  Eckhart Tolle ,  A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose W e need to know not only how to give, we also need to know how to receive. Both have to come from a clean space in our hearts. I think, we have undermined the significance of the attitude involved with receiving. A married young woman had come to visit her mother late last evening. When she saw me inside my office, she opened the door. “Hello sir, Merry Christmas,” she said as she came inside. I was delighted to see this woman after a long time. As I was talking to her, I handed to her two of my books and said warmly, “This is for you… You will love them.” “Thank you so much sir,” the woman said excitedly looking at the books she had just received, “I love your writings… They are so simple yet so good.” “I am glad to hear that,” I said, obviously fe...

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ―  Marcus Aurelius ,  Meditations T he ability to remain calm and composed in all situations in life is called ‘Equanimity’. Well, I have a long way to go before I can reach there! But, I am trying my best… Along my way to this place called ‘equanimity’, I have recognized some of my roadblocks… At times, I tend to take others’ problems on my shoulders… At times, I worry about ‘outside situations’ which are beyond my control – wars, earthquakes, plane crash, hurricanes, riots, gang rapes and gang wars, elections, political and religious discord… At times, I take praise to my head and abuse to my heart… I take them personally… At times, I fall prey to propaganda… It makes me take sides, become biased...

T here was this young ninth-standard girl, who attended a few P.D. sessions a year ago. She was going through a very low phase at that time… She hated being treated as a ‘slow learner’ in school… She thought she was ‘normal’, but her teachers and authorities felt she was ‘not normal’. It was her parents, particularly the mother, who – like Edison’s mother did – refused to accept the ‘validation certificate’ of the teachers and school authorities… “We know our child better than anyone else does,” asserted the parents, “we shall see that our child grows up confident and compassionate.” Two days ago, I received a phone call from the young girl. “Sir, just wanted to share with you my joy… I got 91% in ICSE tenth.” I was happy for the girl. I had not taught her any of her subjects… All that I had done was to help her through our few P.D. sessions. “Sir, I can never forget those sessions in my life,” the young lady said, “You came at the right time in my life… You put m...

T he old advice goes: “When you are angry, count ten…. When you are very angry, count hundred. Obviously, that little space of time – perhaps a few seconds – can make all the difference between war and peace. Just hold back… Just hang on… Just take a long, deep breath before you say or do or react in the fit of your anger. I speak from my own experience… I am a human, a mortal… I err, I lose my temper quite often… and, whenever I have reacted in anger, it has neither helped me nor the cause for which I had exploded. It has only complicated things for me… no matter how much ever I have tried to justify my action… The reality is: giving in to anger and doing things impulsively is lack of self-control, lack of maturity. Period. On a scale of ten, I may score six or seven as far as this test goes. Not bad, I suppose… I console myself. The same old advice goes to all of us who complain about things which are ‘wrong’ in our lives. “When you have a complaint, count ten…...

”In this plate of food, I see the entire universe supporting my existence.”       – Zen blessing from Thich Nhat Hanh W e had our one-day Tai Chi camp in Lonavala, yesterday. At lunch break, Anand, a co-student and a friend, was sitting across me. The lunch was simple but delicious. In the warm weather, most of us consumed 2-3 glasses of butter milk, adding a pinch of salt or chaat masala. Anand was having it plain. So, I asked him, “Anand, you don’t like to add salt or chaat masala?” That was a simple and straight question, which, normally, would have ended with an equally simple and straight answer… like, “No Gerry, I prefer it plain.” But, Anand’s answer led us through a lovely discussion… “I was, once, very fussy about the food on table,” said Anand, “I wanted it, always, as per my taste… If it wasn’t there on table as per my taste, I would crib about it a lot… But, it is not so any longer.” “What brought about the change?” I...