Gerald D'Cunha

  “Spoon-feeding, in the long run, teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.” E. M. Forster   T here are two students of mine. Let me rename them, for this Post, as ‘Sanskar’ and ‘Dhruv’. Trust me, I am not renaming them according to   the meaning of these new names, or the actual names. They both are fine students, brought up by fine parents, and, yes, being sent to fine schools and colleges. Presently, they are in their final year of college. I had requested one of my friends, a Chartered Accountant, to teach these young boys ‘GST’ (Indirect Tax). As my friend is a busy professional, I did not want my boys to disrespect his time… I wanted to ensure, that the boys had discussed the timings for this week-end with my friend. So, I sent this message to my boys, last evening: “Hello Sanskar and Dhruv, I hope you both have discussed the timings with Sir for this week-end. Please do, if you haven’t.” “Yes Sir, done,” replied Dhruv, immediately. There was no...

  “Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakes.” Karl Jung O ne of the often-told stories, relating to our happiness and self-worth, comes from the ancient texts – Upanishads. How timeless and how apt it is to our lives, even today! It’s the story of ‘Kasturi Mriga’ - the Musk Deer. One day, when this musk deer was roaming in a forest, it got drawn to an alluring fragrance of musk. The musk deer was so captivated by the fragrance, that it went on a long, hard and desperate search of it… It hopped from one terrain to another, one forest to another, one mountain to another… only to be alluded by it. Finally, one day, in desperation to find the source of musk fragrance, it fell off a mountain cliff… There, in that battered state, it was astonished to find, at last, where the fragrance emanated from: its own navel! Alas! By then, it was too late… What a sad ending that’s! The story of Kasturi Mriga – the musk deer – is regularly told to us to make us aware of ou...

“I'm not always sincere. One can't be in this world, you know.”  ―  Greta Garbo T oday is Eid. While sending greetings to some of my Muslim friends, I became aware of the space from where my greetings came. Was I genuinely feeling for my friends or was I doing it mechanically just to be in their good books? I have no shame to admit this: many times, I wish on festivals, birthdays, anniversaries or some other achievements not because I genuinely feel for the person concerned… but, because, everybody else is doing it and I do not wish to be ‘misunderstood’ or in the ‘bad books’ of the person concerned… In other words, I just want to ‘please’! Well, not always though. Sometimes, many times! So, today, I paused before sending each Eid greetings and asked, “Where is it coming from?” “Am I genuinely feeling for the person?” “Am I rejoicing in his celebration?” “Are there some hidden strings attached to my greetin...

M y friends and enemies alike – both Ramas and Ravanas - have started forwarding this Dussehra message even before the Sun had come out today… ‘Dasha Hara’ is a Sanskrit word which means removal of ten bad qualities within you. KAMA VASANA (Lust) KRODHA (Anger) MOHA (Attachment) LOBHA (Greed) MADA (Pride) MATSARA (Jealousy) SWARTHA (Selfishness)’ ANYAAYA (Injustice) AMANAVTA (Cruelty) AHANKARA (Ego) It’s also known as ‘Vijayadhashami’ which means vijaya (victory) over these ten bad qualities May you be blessed to win over all evils and may Eternal Love, Peace, Joy and Wonders occupy life completely. Happy Dussehara! T his is my fifty-eighth Dussehra… and, I really smile when I think about this reality: the ten bad qualities are very much there in my heart as the permanent residents there… They are ‘bad’ I know… But, they somehow refuse to go even if I try to push them out… beat them up… burn them, burry them… bo...

Pic.: Azriel D'Souza I t's more than a week now, and I haven't published a single post on my blog. That's something unusual; for, I love writing... It is my deep need... that, I should express every day. Yes, it makes me feel extremely happy, centered and healed, too. Fair enough.  But, how much of that need to write and express every day comes from my 'ego'? How much of that comes from my obsessive-compulsory behavior... yes, 'disorder'? The OCD, they call it in psychology. In fact, someone asked me yesterday, "How do you feel when you have not written a single post for over a week now?" He was my close friend and he knew how much happy blogging and writing would make me... When smokers stop smoking and drinkers stop drinking, they experience some withdrawal symptoms. When people like me – those who aren’t used to fasting, who love to eat well – suddenly decide to fast, yes, certainly, we will experien...

Pic.:Shankar Ramachandran A 14-year-old girl was on stage. “What makes me happy?” was the spontaneous topic we had chosen for the day. I had watched this girl on stage, during our sessions in the past years… She was a teenager now, and, I saw the self-consciousness telling it on her body… Her hands shivered, legs moved awkwardly, eyes blurred and voice cracked…   “Don’t worry beta about what is happening to you,” I encouraged the young-one, “just feel your fear fully… It will die.” I could see an immediate denial, “Sir I am not frightened.” She did not tell me that; but, from my own expereicne, I could read her heart… “ Beta, when you used to go on stage a few years ago, you would do it so naturally, so fearlessly… and, now, when you are a teenager, you tend to become a lot ‘self-conscious’… That’s a natural growing-up process. Don’t worry.” The girl seemed more relaxed now… “Thank God, I am normal!” “I did not say, you become ‘conscious’… I...

Pic.: Aparna Khanolkar Sheth “I never felt comfortable with myself, because I was never part of the majority. I always felt awkward and shy and on the outside of the momentum of my friends' lives. ” ~Steven Spielberg “It was very natural for me to want to disappear into dark theater, I am really very shy. That is something that people never seem to fully grasp because,  when you are an actor, you are meant to be an exhibitionist .”   ~Nicole Kidman I am very convinced that, some of our core personality-traits – shyness for one – do not change, either with age or with our achievements, fame and success. Shy people will, always, remain shy! There are only two approaches to deal with our shyness. One, trying to get rid of it from us. Two, transmute it into something beautiful… channelize it through some productive, positive outlets. From my own experience, I can convincingly say, that trying to get rid o...

Gra titude has to be the best form of prayer… Maybe, the only form. The rest of our prayer is just a meaningless ritual. A waste. I have problems in life just the way everyone else around me has… Yes, we all have our respective problems and we all complain about them… We all struggle hard to solve them… and we all pray to God to help us come out of them. Many a time, God helps us by opening our eyes to the reality around us – to see those whose problems are far worse than ours – and feel grateful for the blessings in our own lives… Till we are able to open our eyes and see the worse conditions of people around us, we are unable to recognize, value and appreciate what has been given unto us… Gratitude has to come in first… for God to perform His miracles in our lives… Else, yes, else… our grumbling will continue… and, our meaningless mumbling, too! Our housing colony has full twenty-four hours water supply. Rarely, due to som...