THE GLOOMY SKY

The world is not perfect; its principles are.

When you go about your life expecting the world to be perfect, you only end up being cynical. On the other hand, when you keep faith in its rock-steady principles, you become buoyant, zestful.

This morning, I felt a strong urge with in me to pray for this wonderful 'boon': of being zestful, hopeful and buoyant.

I realise that, often, many small irritations, small misunderstandings in my life, make me edgy, pessimistic and give up soon. I tend to lose trust in people, their goodness, their sincerity easily. I see myself making gloomy predictions; and, I remain immobile, unenthusiastic and skeptical about other people's ideas and plans.

A couple of my students remain absent for my class, least bothered to inform me - it is enough to make me conclude: "The times have changed; there is no respect for teachers."

The fact that ninety-eight percent of the students attended the class, bothered to take me into confidence - yes, this fact goes completely unacknowledged!

Similarly, one or two stray cases of 'bad debts' are, sometimes, reasons big enough to smell everyone with suspicion.

At some other times, when I get into loud, ugly arguments with my wife or son, I tend to slip into my cave and sulk: "It is best not to keep any hopes, any expectations on them." In addition, I, also, tend to spread this 'gospel', fervently, to others!

An over-charged light or telephone bill means: "They are up to loot you."

A half-percent hike in my housing loan, or a similar drop in my F.D. account - and I am sure to comment:"The banks have no ethics."

When I come across, here and there, some cynical people, I go overboard: "The world is filled with this breed."

The fact that I belong to the same 'moan-and-groan' breed, for a moment, goes into a limbo!

I had to suspend the writing of this piece for a while, because, Viraj had come to talk to me. The subject?

Viraj got married to an educated girl about four years ago. Within six months, they had trouble with each other, and began to live separately. The divorce proceedings prolonged for almost three years in the court, and finally, Viraj came out, battered and burnt. During this period, he had switched his employer: He joined the revered investment bank - Lehman Brothers! And, as his strange destiny would have it, the bank collapsed within six months of his joining. Luckily, the Indian chapter of the bank was taken over by another Giant, and Viraj survived ... but, not before fear and panic sent shock waves through his limbs, not before his aged mother spent almost a month in the hospital, unable to withstand the shock, and fearing the worst.

Viraj, understandably, is disturbed. He is yet to come out of the harsh tentacles of these dual blows. The cooing period seems endless, the hope dim.

"I am unable to shed my gloom," Viraj told me. "My parents want me to settle again, but I am afraid. I am unable to put behind the painful experience. I have this vague suspicion about every woman, now; I seem to have lost trust." He continued, "Though job-wise, I am safe, the bankruptcy jolt has turned me very skeptical about security in life ... Where is the security? I spend sleepless nights wondering. I have come to you to see if I could find some books to read or some Workshops to attend. I am open to the idea of seeing a Counsellor. I must; I am breaking."

I spent my next one hour talking to Viraj.

What a coincidence?

I showed him the subject of my writing, the text I had typed ... and, I could experience this: the more I spoke to him, the more I began to express trust in the Universe - its goodness, its mercy, its divine protection. I heard myself telling him with tremendous amount of certainty: "Viraj, trust me. The Universe protects; Life is good; people are good; the situations change; the gloom doesn't last; you have to get up and say, 'I refuse to give up on life, on people, on hope'."

Viraj was listening. His eyes did not lie about it.

By the time he left, I decided to get up and see the bright world outside. Nothing in the sky had changed, just because some irritations had turned me cynical. "They are clouds," I said. "They shall pass."

When the mighty Hitler died, he must have presumed, Germany, too, would. But, she didn't. What died was: the monster his cynical mind had created - 'NAZI' ... the Third Reich!

Gloom is just a perception of my cynical mind. Joy is my Germany!




GERALD D'CUNHA

Comments

Girish Dhameja said…
Frustration Irritation Creeps in but it should have a definate outlet or it may turn upto ulcer, pain, depression......... and we have the outcomes like anger, screaming and even writing, typing, excercising, playing etc. Depend how we use our force called "FRUSTRATION"

People may fall but a positive think and an urge to fight back not only give strength to stand on the feet but also to run with a speed.

Thks, for sharing this article.

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