Gerald D'Cunha

  “There is always a door, no matter how dark the rooms is... Find it and get out.” Shafqat Bashar   W e have heard the saying, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein had said this. Let me paraphrase it this way: “We cannot solve our problems from the same place where we find them.” It means this: From the place we find our problems, we see everything through a smoky screen… The mind is cluttered, confused, scared … It is in pain and anger. How can we find a way out – a direction – unless the smoke gets cleared, and the visibility comes back? So, in the statement above, we are encouraged to step aside from the place where we find our problems – calm down, be patient, drop the blame and self-pity, our anger. And, this is that ‘new place’ from which we are able to think clearly, see clearly, and act wisely… Yes, every solution emerges from this place… a ‘new place’! F or quite some time, a dear young-man ...

  “Real dishes break. That’s how you know they are real.” Marty Rubin   S ome of my most powerful experiences have sprung from my most vulnerable moments. Just as I feel love in my bosoms when the walls around my heart collapse… Just as I feel the touch of God’s hand when I go on my knees… Just as I feel the freedom in my soul when I say ‘I forgive you’… Just as I feel cleansed when I say ‘I am sorry’… Just as I feel happiest, noblest and strongest when I say ‘I need help.” I am what I am because of my tender side… the side which is very, very fragile… the side which gets hurt, anxious, insecure, yearns, dreams, cries, prays, and, above all, hopes and soars… just as every man and woman, here on this planet, does… S ome days ago, a mother, who was present during one of our Personality Development programmes along with her young one, sent me a message, a few hours after the session… “Thank you Sir. I really, really loved your session. You are imparting valu...

  “Happiness is gentleness.” Hugh Prather “G entleness towards self and others makes life a little lighter,” Said Deborah Day. A little lighter, or a lot lighter? And, is being ‘lighter’ same as being ‘happier’? The Wise say, that only the strong can be gentle; cruelty always comes from the weak. I am very fond of, both, Barack Obama and his wife Michelle. There are scores of videos on YouTube, in which we get to see their interaction with a cross-section of people, both inside and outside the White House. It’s so delightful to watch how they treated people – all people – while they occupied the most powerful position in the world… They treated everyone with kindness and respect… Is it not, then, true, that ‘Only the strong can be gentle’? Deborah Day rightly points out, through the first part of her statement, that it’s not possible for us to be gentle towards others unless we are gentle towards self, first. In one of the videos I watched a couple of days ago, Bara...

\“What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?” ―  Lynette Mather A couple of years ago, when Danish* was a little boy, his mother was a worried soul. “Sir, my biggest worry is about Danish being too timid… He gets bullied; at times, beaten up by some of his playmates… but, he doesn’t give them back… He comes home and complains… I want him to be tough… be able to stand up to the bullies… Give them back.” This was when Danish was in class six and seven. Yesterday, he was in my office with his parents. He is all set to clear his tenth-standard boards and walk into a college. I was impressed when I saw Danish, yesterday… He sat before me and spoke very confidently… He was clear in his thoughts and displayed a mature body-language… Whatever happened to those fears and worries of Danish’s mother? She was a relived soul, and said to me, laughing at her ...

“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” ―  Paulo Coelho M any things make me special… One of them is my vulnerability. If I have to put it in simplest of words, being vulnerable means to open my heart before someone by trusting him or her. When I do that, I make myself defenseless… I know it can break my heart… I can get wounded in the process. If so, why don’t I, always, guard myself… stonewall? I have tried to but failed. Opening my heart, by trusting a person I love, respect, care… yes, it comes easily to me. The main outcome of my openness – vulnerability – is that, it makes me feel better… Light… Loved and lovable… Strong. On the other hand, when I stonewall my feelings, guard too much… don’t reveal my human side, it, invariably makes me stone-like…   The world calls some heartless and some heartfelt… And, you know why the world does it so! Despite getting wounded, le...

I was talking to a new member in our Tai Chi class, yesterday. It was an interesting discussion; rather… it left me smiling. During the course of our discussion, our new member said,  “My job situation is like a pressure cooker, full of tension. I went out for a couple of days and  to ‘throw out’ all my tension.” “Did you succeed?” our Tai Chi sir asked. “Totally,” the new member said with loads of exuberance, “I am totally free, now!” I should have shut up my mouth. But, by now, I had already said this: “Sir, in my case, what I have found is, that, wherever I go, I carry my mind, too… I carry my all my tensions and anxieties, too. I have found it difficult to drop them fully and come back.” “That’s the mistake you are making,” the gentleman said, “You should throw out all your tensions.” “But, sir, how?” I asked sincerely, “You know how the mind is.” “I want you to do only one thing: Watch the video of Sandeep Maheshwari,” the g...

Pic.: Sunitha Sujir “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” - Jack Canfield O ne thing I am extremely aware of, in my life, is ‘Fear’. It is very much there in me… constantly making me alert, anxious and, sometimes, even paralyzed. So, if you ask me, “Is fear bad?”, I am will say, “Yes”. And, if you ask me “Can fear go from life?”, I , with whatever wisdom I have possessed so far, I will say, “No”. And, here is the paradox of the reality: Fear is bad when it cripples me. But, I am aware that my life cannot be free from it. So, what is the sensible thing to do? If fear cannot go, then, the sensible thing to do in life is to befriend it… make it a companion, an ally. Every day, there are moments in my life when I experience a great deal of fear… For a while, I remain anxious and immobile. But, because I know that’s how it is… before I befriend it, a silence descends on my heart… and I am able to see the bright side of fear: H...