Gerald D'Cunha

  “On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own buttocks.” Michel de Montaigne   A ttentive listening has another name: Humility. Putting it in another way, we cannot pay complete attention, unless we listen with a desire to learn… and, for that, we need to drop our guards, our defenses, our judgements. In fact, the thought, that ‘We know’ blocks us from absorbing the good lessons from others… Often, we listen with an intention to defend our positions… We are ready with our responses even before the other person has completed his statements… We are busy judging the other person… We are busy proving our knowledge… We seem to get a strange kick in being right… “I will not utter a word unless you look up and listen to me completely,” I said, once again, this morning, to couple of my students, “Your eyes listen better than your ears do.” From my decades of teaching experience, I have realized this: Attentive listening stems from our desire to le...

  “Let’s build bridges, not walls.” Martin Luther King Jr.   I came across this interesting dialogue while looking for appropriate quotes relating to self-care and assertiveness: “Not everything is about you,” Clary said furiously. “Possibly,"  Jace said, "but, you have to admit, that majority of things are.” (Cassandra Clare, City of Glass)   When we criticize others, are we aware, if we are criticizing the ‘person’ or his/her ‘actions’? I think, many times, we aren’t. Similarly, when someone criticizes us, are we aware, if it is our actions or we, as persons, that are being criticized? Again, I think, many times, we aren’t. It’s easy for us to say, “Hey, it’s not about you.” But, ‘something’, always, is… Isn’t it? That’s what drew my attention to in the dialogue shared above. While Clary, furiously, declares, “Not ‘everything’ is about you,” Jace reminds, ‘Something’ is… In fact, "‘majority of things’ are"! To me, the take away from th...

  “True miracle is not walking on water or walking in air, but simply walking on this earth.” Thich Nhat Hanh   E verything I have learnt in life has not been taught to me by my school and college teachers, parents or grandparents, or by my spiritual teachers. Yes, I have learnt a great deal from them. But, the most valuable lessons, which I have learnt in my life, often, I have learnt by being quiet… watching the sky and the sea, the grass and the grasshopper, the just-born and the just-dead… I have learnt many, many lessons from strangers and, even, from my oppressors… Like these simple things, which I have consciously embraced to practice in my life… To address people – including the parents of my students - as ‘Sir’ and ‘Madam’; regardless of their age, education or position… To rise when I greet people in person… I feel, I should follow this more and more often… Just rise… To add that personal touch in my every conversation – be it on SMS, WhatsApp, FB, em...

I was helping a small group of youngsters, yesterday, on writing skills.. There was a cup on my table and it was empty, as I had just finished drinking my tea. The exercise I had given to them was to make a small write-up, or tell a story, using an image word. As an example, I told them this popular story, using the image word - cup… O nce, a scholar from the West came to a Japanese Zen Master to learn the Buddhist philosophy. As a tradition, before enrolling the Western Scholar as his student, the Zen Master served him tea. As the Master was pouring tea in the cup, the scholar cried, “Stop, stop… The cup is full, it’s overflowing!” The Zen Master smiled and said to his would-be student, “Just as this cup has no space in it for more tea, your mind, too, may be full and may not have any space for more wisdom… You need to empty your cup, my friend.” S ixteen--year-old Utsav, my own Scholar, here in this group, interrupted me, the moment he heard ‘Japanes...

“L ive as if you were to die tomorrow,” said Mahatma Gandhi, “Learn as if you were to live forever.” Kanchan, an efficient professional and mother. I have known her for almost twenty-five years but I haven’t taught her. Today, she had mentioned me on a FB Post dedicated to one’s teachers. The caption of the Post was very interesting: “That teacher who teacher us something more valuable than our syllabus...” It was followed by an image from the film, ‘Taare Zameen Par’ - Aamir Khan (as Nikumbh, the teacher) with Darsheel Safary (as Ishaan Awasthi, the student)… Below that, it was concluded – ‘Deserves a massive respect’! Now, these are very fulfilling moments in life, to say the least. I did not think twice before I replied to Kanchan: “Hi Kanchan, that is so kind of you... I am humbled! Your kind words prove, that our true learning is neither limited to our 'syllabus' nor to the boundaries of our school. ‘Nobody can teach you,’ OSHO used...

“W hen the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Well, it’s very old and accepted. How about this one: “When the teacher is ready, the student appears”? Frankly, I believe, the second one is as old and as profound as the first one… Dare I say this: It may not be as accepted as the first one… but, certainly, it is more profound! Like all, I have been a ‘classroom student’ long before I became a ‘classroom teacher’. Today, I feel flattered – often get carried away – when hundreds of my students compliment me, wish me, praise me, glorify me on days like today – ‘A Teacher’s Day’… When many of them say that I had been their ‘Best teacher’… ‘Favourite teacher’ etc., I find myself smiling with a deep sense of surprise and embarrassment… It takes me back to my own school and college days… Was I a bright, brilliant, the Best student during any of those years? Far from it! Was I a favorite of any of my teachers? I don’t think ‘feeling’ so! But,...

O ne of my eleventh-standard students’ mother said to me, the other day, “Sir, my son needs ‘personal attention’.” “Ma’am, what is that?” I asked her. Well, she, perhaps, was not ready for that question. So, she managed to say this, “Sir, he is not comfortable in a large group… He is comfortable in a small group, say two to three students.” “Is a group of twelve students too large, ma’am?” I asked the mother. “Sir, I think so,” the mother asserted. I t is about three months since we started this group. The students in this group belong to some of the best commerce colleges in town and they, also, belong to fine families… educated, well-off and cultured. None of these students has any physical, mental or learning disability… They are all ‘normal’. But, there is only one disability: They are all casual… What is called, in their own lingo: ‘Cool’! I have been teaching them the way I have been teaching thousands of my students over almost thir...

Pic.: Khushboo Gulrajani “Learning is not a spectator sport.” -        D. Blocher S omebody asked me this question, this morning: “What would have you become in life had you not been a teacher?” “A student,” I said, without even blinking. Then I added this: “Living on this planet is a never-ending process of learning… being open, humble and teachable.” Just, last afternoon, a mother and a sister of a ‘special child’ (an 18-year old, who suffers from autism) had come to see me. The mother, a very strong woman - very articulate and compassionate – had told me about her son, over the phone, and wanted me to help him in accountancy subject. When we met later, yesterday, I realized how difficult it must have been for that woman, her husband and the boy’s elder sister to raise this boy into a confident human being. They had been well-settled abroad, and a few years ago, had taken a decision to ...