Gerald D'Cunha

  “In prayer, it’s better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” John Bunyan   A lmost every day, while speaking on phone or through messages, I say this to people close to me: “I am praying for you.” Sometimes, “I am praying for your family,” or “I am praying for your your parents’/children’s health”, or, some other times, “I am praying for the departed soul,”… and, even this: “I am praying for my country… leaders… neighbours… enemies,” and so on… Yes, I say that so many times a day, every day… But, I have never seen myself, after saying that, going down on my knees, closing my eyes, and really praying to God - “Dear God…. “ Frankly, I have never, ever done that… So, what does this tell? “I say it just to please my loved ones… Hollow words?” Or, “Am I the only one feeling like this?” J ust early this morning, on receiving an inspiring message (on Forgiveness) from a dear friend of mine, I said this in my reply: “Good morning, my frien...

“Start by doing what is necessary;  t hen do what is possible; and, suddenly, you’ll be doing what’s is impossible.” Francis of Assisi I n the beginning, there was only one phrase: ‘Common Sense’. Then, someone with ‘extra sense’ said, ‘Let there be IQ’.   Not pleased, another soul, with even more sense, said, ‘Let there be EQ’. No, even that was not impressive enough. Thus, came a soul with extra-ordinary sense and said, ‘Let there be ‘SQ’. Stupid! What about ‘AQ’? So, the Guru of Gurus said, let there be ‘AQ’! Well, for those like me, who have been long living under the rock, here are the full forms: IQ = Intelligence Quotient. EQ = Emotional Quotient. SQ = Spiritual Quotients (My wife argues, that it is ‘Social Quotient’). AQ = Adversity Quotient. The day we learnt about the sad and shocking death of Sushant Singh Rajput, we also learnt about – thanks to WhatsApp University – the ‘Theories of Intelligence’. WhatsApp professors claimed...

” No discipline seems pleasant at the time, But painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 K indness and firmness… these are the two sides of the same coin called – ‘discipline’. Today, as parents and teachers, if we emphasize on disciplining our children or students, we should not forget, that our parents and teachers, too, did emphasize  on it. Maybe, we wished more of kindness (call it leniency) and less of firmness when we were at the receiving end. But, today, when we look back, we do realize, that excess amount of kindness would have only robbed us of the goodness we possess today. The firmness comes from the kindness – our care and concern, our love… It makes discipline complete. The value of discipline our parents and teachers had instilled in us could be felt only in due course… What was painful once has shaped our character later… It has ...

“A mother is not a person to lean on,  but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”  — Dorothy Canfield Fisher "T he hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." No prizes for guessing whose hand that is... "God could not be everywhere; so, he created mothers." So, God outsourced some of His stress and tension to our mothers, you see. No wonder, mothers are called our 'shock absorbers'! A couple of days ago, Happy's (a boy) mother called up. "Sir, I am Happy's mother... He doesn't have class today?" she sounded quite anxious. It was the third class in a row Happy had missed. The reason given to me was, that he was busy with the college fest. Now, with whatever little interaction I had with this 18-year-old F.Y. BMS student, I knew, that he could be nowhere on the stage to display any of his talent. So, curiously, I had asked, "What are you busy with, dear?"...

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha S ome memories always stay. In my case, an incident that took place when I was about nine-ten year old – some forty-eight years ago – has stayed still. My maternal grandfather had passed away. The house of my grandfather was located at the foothills of old Mangalore airport… The place is known as Karambar. The church was situated at least five-six kilometers away… We had to climb the steep hill, through a dense forest, where the path was rough and rustic… It took more than two kilometers to reach the top of the hill and, from there, we had to walk another three-four kilometers to reach the church… I and my cousin Nevil, who was of my age, had accompanied the funeral procession of our grandfather. By the time we left the cemetery, the darkness had fallen… In a while, I and my cousin realized that we were lost in the darkness! Only men had been to the cemetery. There was no way to contact anyone… We began to panic. Nevil was more scared th...

Pic.: Geeta Kulkarni L ast night, there was this message in my FB inbox. It was from Sushil Shankar, a dear old student and friend of mine. He wrote: “Hi Gerry sir, I read your post on Father’s Day. It inspired me to write on my father, too. Please read and evaluate.” T oday my daughter wished me “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY”. It made me go back in my past… I lost my father to diabetes 32 years ago. He had just crossed 50 years. He was a Diabetes-Mellitus patient, with foot ulcers. Later on, he developed kidney failures and died during dialysis procedure. His body couldn’t bear the dialysis, which already was suffering the after-effects of medication and diabetes. When my dad was alive, I don’t remember celebrating a Father’s Day or any such days which are in vogue now. Only my and my brothers’ birthdays were what we celebrated. We never celebrated our dad’s birthday. I have one sibling left, and he doesn’t even know our father’s date of birth! My fathe...

Pic.: Sherry Haridas S ome days back, I called up one of our Society’s watchmen. “Mishra*, are you busy,” I asked, “Can you come here for a minute?” “Yes, sir... I will be there in a minute,” Mishra said enthusiastically. “You are the Chairman of the Society,” the man next to me, who had overheard the conversation, reminded me, “Don’t ask ‘Can you come?’... Order him to come!” I hid what I wanted to say to this man behind my smile: “My friend, my mom taught me so... and, I have been teaching, for years, this to my students. But, there in the village, my mom did not know it was called – ‘Manners and Etiquette’. She just knew that’s how it was supposed to be!" T here is a power that stems from our positions – as a Minister, a Police Commissioner, a CEO, a Judge, an Income-tax officer, a Chairman, a Secretary, a Principal, a Captain, a parent, a teacher, a doctor, an advocate, and, even, as a compounder of a doctor or a peon in a government office.....

“I really do not care what you think about me.” It means, I do care… What you think about me is really important to me.  If so, why do I keep screaming, “I really do not care what you think about me”? Well, that’s how we express our care and concern before those who matter for us in our lives. That’s our way of saying, “Honey, I love you”! “Shut up!” “Get lost!” “Mind your own business!” “Go to hell!” “You idiot/moron/jerk…” “Don’t teach me all that…” “I don’t need your advice, okay?” The juicy, spicy and hot-hot expletives have been kept off! Basically, “Shut up” simply means, “Say something nice, dear.” “Get lost” means, “Honey, be tender to me when your are with me.” “Mind your own business" means, “Darling, I long for your appreciation… a little helping hand, perhaps.” “Go to hell” simply means, “Sweetheart, how amazing it would have been had you spent some qui...