Gerald D'Cunha

  “If a man is to shed the light of the sun on other men, he must, first of all, have it within himself.” Romain Rolland   L ast evening, I was talking to (over the phone) one of my very old students, now a dear friend. He is in his mid-fifties and, for many years, he has been working and living in Singapore. “Sir, I am heading the risk-management team in this global bank. But, every time I address my subordinates, I remind them this: ‘Your fundamentals matter... be them subject-related, or be them values-related.” When I asked him if he was in touch with his schoolmates and friends, my friend said, that he was in touch with all of them for a long time till the emergence of social media platforms. But, when he saw how they – once his close friends - started venting out publicly their polarizing, hate-filled views in the WhatsApp and other social-media groups, he decided to stay away from all social-media groups. “Many of them have so hardened, that they are best le...

  “By chance we meet; by choice we become friends.” Millie   T his morning, I saw a message from Naresh, a dear friend of mine. “Sir, Prem is in town. He will be leaving tonight. So, if possible, try to meet him today.” It was sometime in 1985-86. I was teaching T.Y. B. Com students in small batches all over our suburb. Charan (a girl), who was a T.Y. student of one of my Anushakti Nagar baches, had told about me to Naresh and his friend Prem… So, one evening, I saw these two extremely handsome, young men waiting to meet me after Charan’s batch was over. They came about exceptionally gentle, respectful and, as I said, handsome. But, what has stayed with me is the first image: Naresh and Prem showed up in identical clothes – black trousers and white shirts… Impeccably dressed… Four decades later, these two friends have remained inseparable… the best friends. Of course, they live in two different parts of India… do different kinds of businesses… wear no more identical ...

  “ The sign of true love is not a diamond; it’s a cross.” Anonymous   O ur shoulders are not broad enough to carry the problems of the world. Forget the ‘world’, we cannot even carry the problems of a handful around us. Yet, we happily and readily carry on our shoulders the problems of ‘a chosen few’… Don’t we? I have done that, and I still do that. Similarly, there are a few Jesus Christs around me, who readily, happily   and, unconditionally, carry my cross on their shoulders... That’s how Love, always, has been… and will be. I will, always, find strength and grace to carry on my shoulders the burdens of a chosen few… and, I will, always, find some chosen few to carry my burden on theirs… Some days ago, a dear one pressed into my hand a beautiful note when he sensed the weight of some of my burden. The note read: “The sign of true love is not a diamond; it is a cross.” O nly yesterday, another friend of mine spent almost half a day, sidelining all his p...

  “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Song of Solomon 2:16   K ing Solomon from the Old Testament is hailed as ‘the wisest king’. The words cited above, which feature in the Bible (The Old Testament), therefore, must be wise words. So, the other day, when my friend Joe and his wife Mariette, who live in my hometown Mangalore, came over to invite us for their son Nikhil’s wedding, I sighted King Solomon’s wise words atop the wedding card… What did Solomon mean? Meaning of any wise words, always, is as one makes out of them. I do not know what Joe and Mariette – or the young couple Nikhil and Renisha – had made out of those words; but, my little wisdom allows me to make this out: “I can only love my partner as much as I am able love myself.” Which means, unless I am able to see the beauty and flaws of my own being and accept them, nurture them, be kind and compassionate towards them, and celebrate them -   how can I make space to accommodate my partn...

  “He who has no Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a Tree.” Roy L. Smith’s L ast night, a dear friend of mine, a Sikh by faith, who lives in London, shared with me the picture of a beautiful Christmas tree decorated by her two teenager girls… “Our Christmas Tree”, my friend captioned it warmly. Well, the Christmas Tree hadn’t come up, yet, at our place. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” I consoled myself. “He who has no Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a Tree,” I reminded myself with Roy L. Smith’s words. I am inspired by Christmas season. More than that, I am incredibly inspired by Jesus Christ’s life. But, then, as I became an adult, my idea of Christmas has undergone a sea-change. The hype and hoopla and the utterly humble crib, to me, look a complete contrast. In my mind, and in my heart, I prefer to remember Jesus Christ quietly… Yes, with least glitter. “Come on,” many times, I hear my friends and relatives saying. A lot of preparation goes ...

Thank you for gracing my life with your lovely presence; for adding sweet measure of your soul to my existence." Richard Matheson ‘P resence’ is a powerful word! You and I know how we can experience the ‘presence’ of some people in our lives, even though they are not around us physically… They may be thousands of miles away… We may not have met them for decades… They may not be even alive. Yet, they are in our memories – fresh and alive… Our hearts have a special place for these people… The very thought of them fills our being with love and strength! Life-partners, soulmates, friends, relatives, teachers, students, mentors, classmates, associates, neighours – from whichever sphere these people may come from… but, now, they have come to ‘live’ in our consciousness… We can constantly feel their ‘presence’… And, their presence makes our lives worth living. The thought that they are there for us, with us… Yes, “Thanks for being there” – Have we not said thi...

“It’s not at all hard to understand a person; It’s only hard to listen without bias.” Criss Jami I t was late in the night when I happened to read the heated debate on one of the WhatsApp groups. It’s a group of fifteen of us… all friends and all educated. Apparently, one of the group members had showered praises on our Prime Minister and hailed him as the only leader who could deal with the current situation in the country so efficiently.  Immediately, another member mocked at what was being just said and criticized the PM and the central government for, what he called ‘a complete mess’ in the country. Suddenly, the floodgates were thrown open… missiles being fired from either side of the border. I was surprised to see one of our very quiet members, who seldom opened his mouth, firing his missiles from one of the sides… I stood neutral, a mute spectator, rather… and watched the fun! Of course, I had a very strong view about the current state of af...

W hen it comes to technology, and particularly the use of social media, people like me can be safely classified as ‘Slow Learners’… aka ‘LDs’… the ones who suffer from a learning disability. I have been writing notes in my diaries ever since I was an adolescent… I did not know, then -   that’s some 42/43 years ago - that writing my notes was a self-healing therapy. Computer hadn’t come to our village… and the internet and the social media hadn’t made their place into the dictionary, yet So, by the time I learnt to operate a computer, my son and my students were already Geeks… fast, furious and impatient. Some of my courteous students patiently sat next to me and helped me open a Blog… Slowly they helped me open my FB account, so that I could share my blog posts on FB. It was a new-found world for me, and, obviously I was excited. But, I heard my son saying, “Dad, you are opening your FB account when many of us are closing ours.” My young son we...

“W e are all so much together, but, we are all dying of loneliness.” -  Albert Schweitzer T wo days ago, on the ‘International Friendship Day’, we all exchanged, frantically, hundreds of messages. Frankly, that was all shallow, not even skin-deep. It’s just like the Good-morning and Good-night messages… just like the Christmas, Diwali, Eid and all other festive messages… We just don’t need those ‘cosmetic’ and 'wholesale' messages to wish our near and dear ones - people who matter in our lives - as to how much we remember them… Often, the tone of our voice, the depth of our words, the affection and bond packed in the silent, distant ‘presence’ - yes, these are enough. Need we call our spouses, ten times a day, to prove how much we remember them?  Need we go on the mountain-top and express our love and gratitude to our parents?  And, what about our devotion to God? We have never met Him, and never will… Yes, in no w...