WHY DIDN'T YOU INFORM ME BEFORE?

 

 

“We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes,

but very good judges for others’ mistakes.”

Anonymous

 

For most of us, judging others comes very easily; it comes very early, too. I have a long way to go before I can claim, that I judge others less and judge not too early. There is an anonymous saying:

“If you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who are still asleep.”

The truth in my case is, that I am one of those who are still asleep… Awakening seems distant, as far as judging others early is concerned…

I still judge others too early… And, I can see from where this old habit of mine comes: My prejudice, my insecurity, my impatience, my lack of empathy, my intolerance, my self-righteousness… ego.

From where else can it come?

The virtue of judging others not often and not too early, therefore, seems a distant goal to reach, for me…

I remember sharing this Note in one of our books (‘Blind Spots’) published nearly thirty-five years ago:

 

LIGHT

I was terribly annoyed and angry with my maid.

She had not turned up to work, yet again.

Umpteen number of times, I had told her gently

and warned her sternly…

Now, she had bunked, yet again.

 

I decided in my mind to throw her out

when she came next.

She came after a few days, terribly shaken.

Someone beside her said:

“Her husband gets mental bouts, time and again…

Last few days, he didn’t allow anyone in their house

to leave the house.”

 

I said nothing…

 

She went on with her usual work.

 

And, look, even after thirty-five years, I still find myself judging others too often and too early… Old habits really die hard… How true, that is!

Last night, at 9 p.m. Neil was to connect online from Dubai. It was a Class-12 CBSE batch for students from Dubai and Abu Dhabi. As I was about to start the session, Neil sent a message on WhatsApp: “Sir, due to some personal reason, I won’t be able to join today’s session.”

I was annoyed, and wanted to tell him: “Why couldn’t you inform me much before the session… Why when I am about to start?”

However, as there was no time to text this angry message, I went about the session with others in the group. “Any idea, why is Neil absent?” I asked some of his friends…

“No idea, Sir,” they said.

Somehow, the night passed and I was too tired to send my angry message to Neil…

Early this morning, Jeet (Neil’s friend) sent me this message:

“Sir, sad to say, that Neil’s mother passed away yesterday due to a cardiac arrest… That’s why he couldn’t attend the last session.”

A chill passed through my spine… Something had stopped me from sending my angry message to this young boy who had lost his mother – without any pre-notice!

It’s a new kind of message my heart was dictating, now:

“Dear Neil, extremely sorry to hear about the sad demise of mom. Can’t really believe! Be strong beta. Time is the best healer. My condolences to all at home and prayers for mom’s soul.”

 

(*She was an extremely involved and concerned mother and would constantly check on Neil. She had done that just the earlier evening!)

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: 1. Tiny Positive    2. Pixabay

 

Video: Angel - Sarah Mclachlan