Gerald D'Cunha

Expectations are like fine pottery. The harder you hold them, the more likely they are to crack.” Brandon Sanderson   M y first batch, today, was to start at 8 am… I was the first one to arrive, that’s at 7.50. A couple of them arrived between 8.10 and 8.15… A couple of them joined online, late though… A couple of them didn’t show up at all… and, none of them had done the homework… The irritation was building within me… The questions were incessantly popping up from the hot furnace: “In a few days, these young kids will be ending their year: What is my contribution to their growth and education? Will it be the marks they are going to score, or will it be some subtle intangible things – like, being more self-responsible, more sensitive towards others’ feelings, towards difficulties of their parents… being punctual, committed and thankful?” I found myself letting my steam, like it did from a hot furnace… I may spend my lifetime trying to teach a cat how to bark… but, i...

  “If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.” Jon Stewart H uman mind is wired to take sides! Confused? Imagine you come across a game on TV, social media or even at a local playground… You know nothing about the teams or players… Totally strangers… But, as you keep watching the game, watch you mind, as well… Are you rooting for one of the teams? Can you remain totally neutral? Similarly, imagine this: you are watching two people fighting along the road… Why? Even two bulls, dogs, goats, cats are fighting as you walk by… Is there a favourite out there? And, imagine this: you and I are watching on TV or social media so much of ‘fighting’ – mostly political – and allow ourselves to be affected by what we watch… what happens to our thinking? I don’t know about you. But, whenever I get drawn into this cesspool, I end up getting depressed – irritated, angry and very, very touchy and reactive. The worst part of this is: I am ready to spoil my close relationships for the ...

"There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.” - Byron Katie in ‘Loving What Is’ S ome days ago, while on a vacation in Goa, my wife and I were on a motor-boat with a few other families. It was a small motor-boat and there was only one young man as its operator. It was supposed to be a trip for an hour, during which, we were to see from the sea a couple of interesting things, including the dolphins. One of the families, (They spoke Tamil), had about five members including a two/three-year-old baby… The man, who seemed to be the father of the baby, was frantically busy clicking pictures of his family, holding aloft the selfie stick… The baby restlessly ran all around, inside the boat… At times, a member of the family, about age 12/13, held the baby on his lap and they leaned to touch the water, giving my wife and me chills in our bones… “Hello there,” my wife and I called out to remind the family...

I s watching our thoughts what meditation all about? I think, it is… I like to write and post my Blogs almost every day… I have done that when my mind had the happiest, saddest, scariest and funniest thoughts, all. But, for some mysterious reasons, I was not inspired to write anything during the last nine days… And, these nine days have been usual days… with their shares of happiness, sadness, fear, fun and confusion. So, on days like these, I do blog. But, this time, as I confessed, for some strange reasons, I let the days go by without a word being typed… Often, such a practice is termed as ‘spiritual practice’. It helps one to feel centered… see things in proper perspective… and allows the silence to usher in. Equanimity is not for those who choose to react for every little buzz and ripple around them. All comments are not worth reacting to… All criticisms are not worth sulking about… All arguments are not worth getting entangled in… All people are not worth...

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as  you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering— the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim,  that you’re suffering in paradise.”   - Byron Katie in ‘ Loving What Is’ “I love you for what you are.”  Have I said this to my loved ones – my wife, son, friends, students, colleagues and many others around me? Yes, I have… Time and again. But, then, have I understood the deep meaning of this line whenever I have said it? I doubt, I have… To be honest, ‘No’, I haven’t. This morning, I said it again… One of the things I detest – rather hate – my wife doing to me happens in the mornings when I am in a frantic hurry to leave home… I do not want her to irritate me, nag me, play her broken record… press the button of my irritation and stress… when a dozen con...

Pic.: Malabika Ganguly “All the advice you ever gave your partner (or anyone) is for you to hear.”   ―   Byron Katie O ne of the thoughts I have, always, believed in is this: The basics of every chapter I teach are very important; therefore, my students should not miss the initial lectures of every chapter… particularly the first lecture. So, I keep reminding them about it, much in advance. “Look guys, I will be starting this chapter on such and such date. If you miss the basics, you will find it very difficult to cope up later. So, come what may, please don’t remain absent.” Now, most of them don’t miss. Mercifully, because, they have realized the meaning and value of my advice. But, some of them do miss and walk into the class, the following lecture, as if my advice - or warning, whatever it is - meant nothing to them! And, look at my behavior. If I operate from my rigid belief that they’ had to’ attend the class com...