Gerald D'Cunha

  “I’ve wandered far away from God, Now I’m coming home; The paths of sin too long I’ve trod, Lord, I’m coming home.” (From the hymn ‘Lord, I am Coming Home’)   T wo days ago, Mrs. Vaz (We fondly called her Vaz aunty) passed away at 88. Vaz family was very close to my in-laws’ family when, years ago, they lived in the same building and the same entrance of one of the buildings in Anushakti Nagar (BARC Colony). Then, they shifted to their own house in a nearby private colony, where, I, too, as a bachelor, moved to live along with my younger brother, Harry. I got married and, my wife came to live in this house. For seven years, we were destined to be the neighbours of Vaz family, and I was destined to teach their only son, Joywin, soon after. Eventually, my wife and I moved to different places; but, we continued to stay in touch with Vaz family… Let me correct myself, here: My father-in-law considered Vaz aunty as his sister. Till he died, five years ago, he and Vaz a...

  “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but hold hands.” Alexandra Penney   M y Mom passed away, on this day, a year ago. Today, as I write this Post, her memorial mass must’ve just concluded at the local church in our hometown, Mangalore. My wife and I had booked the air tickets some three months ago and we were keen to attend this first memorial mass. But, due to my wife’s health condition, we had to drop our plans ... Mom – we called her ‘Mai’ – lived nearly for ninety years. Except for the last two years, she led a simple yet productive life. She had five sons to raise... I was her second son. Our Dad (we called him ‘baab’ ) died of a sudden heart attack on 2 nd January, 1983. He was 57 and Mom was 48. What I cannot erase from my mind is how fondly our Mom would remind us, her five sons, on Dad’s every death anniversary... “It’s ten years today, since Dad passed away”... “Today, it’s twenty years” “Today, it’s thirty years”... She did that till ...

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   “H ow’s is your health?”… a woman asked me, gently, a while ago. I had many options to choose my reply from: “Not so good”… “Doctors say this and that”… “Reports say this and that”… Well, these kinds of responses come quite easily… Complaints immediately draw sympathy, you see. And - we may not like to admit it – we long for sympathy from others. But, then, if I had replied to the question – “How’s your health?” – saying, “It’s Great!”… that’s not the truth either. Telling someone your health is ‘Great’, when it’s actually not, is a lie. You are deceiving not only others, but also yourself. So, this morning, I, instantly, replied to the woman, when asked gently – “How is your health?”, “It’s good, no complaints.” The woman, who asked me the question, seemed impressed by my rejoinder - “No complaints”, and said, “I like that phrase...

  “In prayer, it’s better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” John Bunyan   A lmost every day, while speaking on phone or through messages, I say this to people close to me: “I am praying for you.” Sometimes, “I am praying for your family,” or “I am praying for your your parents’/children’s health”, or, some other times, “I am praying for the departed soul,”… and, even this: “I am praying for my country… leaders… neighbours… enemies,” and so on… Yes, I say that so many times a day, every day… But, I have never seen myself, after saying that, going down on my knees, closing my eyes, and really praying to God - “Dear God…. “ Frankly, I have never, ever done that… So, what does this tell? “I say it just to please my loved ones… Hollow words?” Or, “Am I the only one feeling like this?” J ust early this morning, on receiving an inspiring message (on Forgiveness) from a dear friend of mine, I said this in my reply: “Good morning, my frien...

  “Always pick your battles carefully; and let Karma take care of the rest.” Anthon St, Maarten L ast night, a dear family friend of ours was talking to my wife and me. For years, he and his family were fighting a legal battle to reclaim their hard-earned property from a dishonest tenant. The matter had travelled all the way from the local Magistrate’s court to the Supreme court… leaving our friend and his family financially, mentally, physically drained. There were countless moments of doubt, frustration and hopelessness… There were, also, endless moments of blame, anger, and even fear… Yet, our friend’s family – who were absolutely placed on the right side of the truth – held the fort and kept faith, both, in the worldly and divine justice… And, finally, two days ago, the Highest Court of this land, handed justice to our friend and his family… They not only reclaimed their property and arrears of rent of years, they also reclaimed their honour and hope… It was a battle wort...

  “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” Confucius   I don’t think, that, there exists a single soul on this planet who hasn’t been hurt by someone, or he/she hasn’t hurt someone. “To err is human.” This statement hasn’t been tossed around as just one more proverb. We are humans; hence, we err… We hurt others, including our own. And, others, including our own, do hurt us. That fact said, and that truth accepted, now what? Should we hold on to those hurts? Keep remembering, reminding, digging, re-digging those painful memories? Let’s pause for a moment and recall: Has digging, re-digging, remembering, reminding – accusing, blaming, screaming, swearing, threatening, emotional-blackmailing… yes, has any of these, which seems so familiar a thing for each of us, really helped one bit? Or, have all of these only added more mess and turmoil into our already turmoiled lives? F unny it sounds! We want peace and happiness; we want to walk light and f...

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges and all resentment, you’ll always find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   T here is sense in singing glory to a person when he or she is dead and gone. It makes sense only if we say,   “I love you,”… “Thank you”…   “I am sorry”… etc., when the person is alive and around us. Yesterday, all over the world, Christians observed what is traditionally known as ‘All Souls’ Day’. On this day, we remember our dear and near ones who are no more… We go near their graves and pray… We light candles, place fresh flowers, get overwhelmed and cry… Frankly, this is a powerful experience. If observed meaningfully, it can leave us a lot healed. But, I said, “If observed meaningfully”! When our near and dear ones are alive and around us, we tend to think, that we all are going to be alive and around for a long, long time, if not ‘forever’. So, the thought, that ‘Life is short’, that we should express our lo...

  “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Buddha O nly a deep awareness of our own imperfection can help us understand our fellow-beings’. “I am imperfect”… “I am fallible”… “I don’t have all the answers”… “I need help from others” – this realization helps us to be kind. Patience, tolerance, empathy, forgiveness and healing… Yes, they come from a deep realization of our imperfection. It is not   possible for us to deeply relate to our fellow-beings, if we do not recognize our own imperfection and need for interdependence? The lesser we see my own flaws and fallibility, the more we distance ourselves from our fellow-beings. Conversely, the more we see our own flaws and fallibility, the closer we get to our fellow-beings. Thus, before we learn to forgive others, we need to forgive our own selves. Compassion towards others begins with compassion to ourselves. This is an important lesson for inner peace. Yet, it’s the most elusive one. Ju...

  I am just asking this: If a fish takes a break from swimming for a few months, will she forget how to swim when she resumes swimming again? Similarly, if an eagle takes a similar break from flying, will he forget how to fly when he resumes flying again? Today, I am set to resume blogging after a gap of over four   months? And, I am just asking the same question: Will I forget how to write my daily, simple stories? The question makes me smile more than think! Just because I did not write my stories for over four months, it did not mean, that I did not weave those stories in my imagination. Writing is just one of the ways in which I am able to tell the stories that are born in my mind. There are many other ways… Silence is one of them! A few days ago, my favourite actor Will Smith walked up to the glittering stage of Oscars ceremony and slapped hard the host, the comedian, Chris Rock. Chris Rock had cracked a distasteful joke on Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett (who s...