Gerald D'Cunha

  “To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself.” — Chinese Proverb   S ome things we understand late in our lives; and, often, we may not understand them at all. One such thing is our sensitivity towards our parents… Well, no matter how our parents raised us up, let us accept these bare facts: They were not trained in the art of raising children; they had watched their parents and, mostly, carried forward what they had watched; they –- whether we agree or not –- had done the best they could in their wisdom… and, this: even though we couldn’t choose our parents, we, by all means, could choose how to deal with our own parents as they aged, and how to deal with our own children as they grew… Having said that, let me add this, too: how our young children deal with us, well, we have no choice on that… Karma or dharma … well, I don’t know. Choices, yes, yes, yes… One, always, has. O n my way home, last evening, I met a parent. He wanted t...

  “The beauty of an empty nest is the opportunity to cultivate a garden of self-growth” Unknown I was twenty when I left my home to find better prospects in Bombay. My mom must’ve just crossed forty and dad fifty. Of their five sons, the eldest, Franklin, had already left home, two years earlier, to be a sailor. They still had three more sons at home – Harry, Rony and Vivek. Harry left home to find work in Bombay, soon… In some years, Rony left home to find his new pastures in Kuwait, and so did the last son of my parents – Vivek. Very soon, he, too, came and settled here in Bombay… By then, Bombay had become Mumbai, and, with our dad gone to God’s home, our own home had become an empty nest… I remember, how my parents must’ve felt, when each of their sons left their nest. I remember, particularly, how my mother had felt when I was leaving… I was her favourite son. I was traveling from Mangalore to Bombay by a bus (first time). When I boarded the bus in Mangalore, she re...

  “Someone is sitting in the shade today, because someone planted a tree long time ago.” Warren Buffet   I have used the above statement by Warren Buffet several times, before, in my blogs. The obvious reference, most of us tend to derive, is, that the Investment Genius is referring to money - wealth, savings and investments. May be, that’s correct. But, every time, I have used it in my blogs, my own reference point has kept changing. Undoubtedly, money and wealth, when invested wisely with a foresight,   grow like giant trees and end up providing shade – besides fruits and manure – to generations to come. So, if we assume, that Mr. Warren Buffet was encouraging us to raise money-plants, our assumption wont’ be wrong… After all, money doesn’t grow on trees. But, it does grow like trees! The shade is the comfort each generation has been provided with by the generations before. I have seen by father’s   father… He almost lived like a tribal man… I am neith...

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” —  Maya Angelou I was talking to a friend of mine, last morning. She is very qualified and articulate. Before she got married, she had worked for many years in a reputed company. But, once her two sons were born, she chose to quit her well-paying job and focus fully on her family. Her husband holds a top   position in one of the blue chip companies in India, while her two sons have finished their studies… One is well-placed in a company and other is about to join. A significant part of my friend’s life, in the last three decades or so, has been devoted towards her parents’ care. The aged and ailing parents live on their own in the same city as my friend lives. So, like the lives of several others from the  so-called ‘Sandwiched generation’, my friend’s life, too, is stuffed between the families of   paren...

A n articulate lady, who I knew for many years, had come to meet me, yesterday. One of her friends wanted to enroll her 16-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son for our P.D. Course. The friend was a shy person and wanted the articulate lady to do the talking for her. I made the shy woman feel comfortable and spoke to her mostly in Hindi…But, it was not helping. The daughter and son were very fluent in English… Their mother seemed a lot apprehensive and diffident. “Sir, please talk to her in Hindi,” pleaded the articulate lady whenever she heard me using English, “She feels stressed.” I comforted the anxious woman by telling my own story… My schooling in the local vernacular-medium school in my village… how I dreaded speaking in English as a teenager and how it added to my inferiority complex… and, importantly, how I overcame my problem, eventually… I looked at the 16-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son of the worried woman and said, “You both should ...

I have been teaching the 17-year-old Jason for last six months or so. He is presently doing his class 12 (CBSE). He has twin sisters who are in school. Jason’s mom, Judith, had done the talking for his admission at my place. I haven’t met her, yet… But, every time I have spoken to her, she came about to me as a very warm and simple soul. She cared for her children immensely. In fact, when she first called me, one of the twins was undergoing a prolonged treatment in one of the hospitals in Mumbai and she was literally living day and night in the hospital. Later, when Jason had to be enrolled with me, his dad, Rajiv, accompanied him. “Jason’s elder brother?” I remember asking Rajiv. “I am his dad!” the confident smile had made me say, “Can’t believe that!” I learnt during the course of our discussion, that Rajiv, a top executive in an Insurance Major, had started a rigorous fitness programme. He looked young, dashing and energetic. I also learnt that, he was a popular Ch...

M y colony friend, Vijay, had migrated to Bangaluru to take up a new job assignment starting from 1 st  of this month. Since his four-year-old son Shiva’s academic year is yet to end, Vijay’s wife and son would be joining him after the completion of this school-year. While leaving for my Tai Chi class, this morning, I was delighted to see Vijay on his motor bike, with Shiva proudly sitting in front of his dad. It was Vijay’s first home-coming since his migration to Bangaluru… “So Shiva, daddy has come… You are happy?” I ran my hand over little-fellow’s head. The little head nodded with a huge blush on the face… The daddy and the son were on their way for a hair-cut… I placed myself behind Vijay on the motor bike… When I reached Tai Chi class, I was happy to see Kannan almost after 2-3 weeks. I knew that he was busy with his son’s migration to Australia to do Masters. Thus, I asked, “Kannan sir, son has gone?” “Yes, he has gone,” Kannan replied. “...

M y colony friend, Vijay, had migrated to Bangaluru to take up a new job assignment starting from 1 st  of this month. Since his four-year-old son Shiva’s academic year is yet to end, Vijay’s wife and son would be joining him after the completion of this school-year. While leaving for my Tai Chi class, this morning, I was delighted to see Vijay on his motor bike, with Shiva proudly sitting in front of his dad. It was Vijay’s first home-coming since his migration to Bangaluru… “So Shiva, daddy has come… You are happy?” I ran my hand over little-fellow’s head. The little head nodded with a huge blush on the face… The daddy and the son were on their way for a hair-cut… I placed myself behind Vijay on the motor bike… When I reached Tai Chi class, I was happy to see Kannan almost after 2-3 weeks. I knew that he was busy with his son’s migration to Australia to do Masters. Thus, I asked, “Kannan sir, son has gone?” “Yes, he has gone,” Kannan replied. “M...

M y colony friend, Vijay, had migrated to Bangaluru to take up a new job assignment starting from 1 st of this month. Since his four-year-old son Shiva’s academic year is yet to end, Vijay’s wife and son would be joining him after the completion of this school-year. While leaving for my Tai Chi class, this morning, I was delighted to see Vijay on his motor bike, with Shiva proudly sitting in front of his dad. It was Vijay’s first home-coming since his migration to Bangaluru… “So Shiva, daddy has come… You are happy?” I ran my hand over little-fellow’s head. The little head nodded with a huge blush on the face… The daddy and the son were on their way for a hair-cut… I placed myself behind Vijay on the motor bike… When I reached Tai Chi class, I was happy to see Kannan almost after 2-3 weeks. I knew that he was busy with his son’s migration to Australia to do Masters. Thus, I asked, “Kannan sir, son has gone?” “Yes, he has gone,” Kannan replied. “Mis...