Gerald D'Cunha

      “And stand together yet not too near together: For, the pillars of the temple stand apart And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s company.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ I n his remarkable book, ‘The Prophet’, Kahlil Gibran’s famous lines might have been in response to the request – “Master, say something about Marriage”… Yes, it might have been used to emphasize on the need for ‘space’ in marital relationships… yet, in a larger context, ‘space’ is a universal thirst in every kind of relationship… You see, humans cannot grow in shade… They get suffocated, and die! In our summer programme on Personality Development, we, always, hold the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’ first. The reason: a healthy self-esteem is the foundation for the healthy development of one’s personality… During the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’, the facilitator (Swami Brahmavidananda Saraswati) helps the participants to reflect on the major parental messages that impact s...

  “My body wasn’t the problem; my thoughts and beliefs were.” Anne Poirier   N o matter who we are, we cannot learn ‘every skill’ under the sky. We can learn ‘only some’… We can hone them well to become even experts in them… to be hailed by people - “Fine hands.” And, as we become experts in some of these skills, we do not bother to learn many other skills. Often, we try to… But, our lack of motivation, soon, makes us give up… True, where there is will, there is certainly a way. Whatever skills I have mastered in my life, invariably, are those where I have applied my strong will… I was miserably bad in Public Speaking and communicating (both, written and spoken) in English. But, because I wanted to become a fine teacher – where I dreamt of teaching Accounting subjects in English language, and because I wanted to write well, too, in English – yes, I found the necessary will to overcome my ‘problems’… It became clear to me, at a young age, that the motivation to ...

A week ago, a working mother called me up from her office. “Sir, this is regarding my son who is pursuing Marine Engineering. His Captain (trainer) has given a report saying that he (son) needs to build his self-confidence, interpersonal and communication skills. Can you help him?” The next day, the mother and son appeared in my office. Son had come directly from his institute and looked smart in this white sailor’s uniform.  We discussed the issue for over 40 minutes. I could quickly gather this: the mother had been over protective and over anxious all through the years. She had been taking decisions for her son for every little thing. The young man, as I expected, kept a little quiet in the start. But, encouraged by my simple and straight approach, he began to open up. The speech, initially, was just a mumble… I helped him with it… Soon, he was speaking clearly with his jaws widely open, slow and controlled… The speech wasn’t the problem… Englis...

H aving spent years helping young ones develop their self-confidence, I have come to one clear conclusion: Parents’ critical messages alone are not responsible for the low self-esteem of their children, their smothering messages, too, are equally responsible. A daughter of one of my dear students got 91% in SSC. The young one was very clear about what she wanted to do: Humanities (Arts). She wants to, eventually, major in psychology and go about doing what she believes in (at this tender age). Yesterday, the mother called me up to update that they had collectively decided to take admission in one of the local colleges and drop the social compulsion about seeking admission in the ‘Best College for Arts’… I loved the decision… What can the so-called ‘The Best College’ do for you if you are not ‘good’, leave alone ‘the Best’? The best teachers, the best facilities, the best exposure… yes, these things definitely can help if the students have their attitude...