Gerald D'Cunha

  “Every challenge, every adversity, contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.” Roy Bonnett   I n 2024, I lost my Mom. But, she lived close the age 90. Dad had passed away in 1983. Mom became a widow just after she had turned 48… But, she continued to live, with grace and grit, for the next 41-plus years. When Dad passed away, due to a massive heart attack, Mom – like any one lese in her place – wasn’t ‘prepared’ to absorb the shock and pain. Dad had left behind a huge challenge for her: to rise from the ashes or just perish… Mom chose to rise… But, Mom’s sweet sorrow – the sweet memories of Dad – she continued to bear in her heart till her memory was intact. Dad had passed away on the 2 nd Jan, a Sunday, early in the morning. So, for close to 40 years, since then, Mom would remind her sons, when they called her to wish ‘A Happy New year’ – “Tomorrow will be 10 years… 20 years… 30 years… 40 years… since Dad passed away”… Imagine, she started remindin...

  “Thank God, I found the ‘Good’ in goodbye.” Beyonce Knowles   T he plastic bucket-chair, on which I am presently sitting and typing this Post, was bought by me more than three decades ago. I had bought four such chairs, and all four are still sturdy. The friend, from whose shop I had bought those chairs, continues to be my friend… and, his chairs, too, continue to be my loyal companions. To me, what is a chair for, except for sitting on them and typing my posts, the way I am doing now? Even if I replace this chair with a sophisticated chair, say worth 25 K, will it make any difference to my writing work, my stories, my simple joy? I realized it long ago, that the kind of chair I was using had no relevance to the kind of stories I was writing. So, I continue to use the same-old bucket chairs… They are still going strong, just as my storytelling mind does… Our possessions are all there for our temporary use… When we let them possess us, use us – comes the danger… t...

“Angels are all around us, all the time, in the very air we breathe.” ~Eileen Elias Freeman I  have just returned after attending the funeral of my friend Gurpreet’s dad. The first thought that came to my mind, when I heard about the death, early in the morning, today, was: “Thank you Lord, for remembering him.” Now, it may not sound good to thank Lord for the death of our near and dear ones in our families. But, death is a long sleep we all are going to enter, sooner or later… May his soul rest in eternal peace! Gurpreet’s dad had to endure a lot of suffering due to his failed kidneys. He was a strong man, very hard-working and responsible. He has left leaving the family in good place. But, in his pain and suffering, despite the family’s unflagging support and care, he had to endure it all by himself… When I stood there, a while ago, drenched in the sobs of family members on the one side, and the...

“God does not create a lock without its key; And, God does not give problems without solutions…Trust Him.” -           Anonymous O ne of my favourite stories comes from the teachings of Gautama Buddha. The story is popularly known as ‘Kisa Gotami and the Parable of the Mustard Seeds’. Kisa’s young son had died. She was heart-broken… Carrying the dead son in her arms, she went from one door to another, pleading people to bring her little boy to life. But, her efforts seemed futile. Finally, someone suggested her to seek Gautama’s help. Thus, she presented herself before the Buddha. “O Master, I am unable to bear this loss,” she cried, “Have mercy on me and bring my son back to life.” The Buddha agreed. He advised the distressed woman to go back to her village and gather a fistful of mustard seeds from any household which was not touched by death. “From those mustard seeds, I shall prepare a med...

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -   Rollo May M any of us were left rattled by the news of Himanshu Roy’s death! For the uninitiated, Himanshu Roy, 54, was a supercop. He studied in Mumbai St. Xavier's College, completed his Chartered Accountancy (CA), passed IPS exam in 1989… went on to hold many top-cop positions across Maharashtra including that of Additional Commissioner of Police, South Mumbai. He presided over several high-voltage cases… and, as fate would have it, he was sidelined into less significant operations… Then, Cancer took over Himanshu Roy’s life… There was no way of bouncing back, after that! Many of us would look at the magnificent personality of Himanshu Roy with envy and admiration, both. His was a rare sight to behold in the police department… He was a fitness freak – strong, tall, bold and handsome… very articulate, too… He loved the limelight. I, always, thought, that...

“It was my letting go that gave me a better hold.”  ―  Chris Matakas , O ur attachments breed fear… the fear of losing what we are attached to. We are attached to our people… We fear we may lose them. We are attached to our wealth… We fear we may lose it.   We are attached to our fame, reputation and position… We fear we may lose them. We are attached to our physical beauty… We fear we may lose it, one day. We are attached to our ideas, beliefs and opinions…  We fear we may be proved wrong. Yes, right from our looks, public opinion, people, wealth and ideologies, we are attached to everything in our lives. There is an inherent fear of losing in attachments. Fear exists, as Jiddu Krishnamurti says, only in relationships… In every relationship.  The relationships are our attachments. When we ‘see’ this truth… that our attachments bring fear - and, thereby anxiety, worry, sorrow, guilt, anger, ...

F rom where does our empathy come? Often, when I express my empathy to someone, I suddenly become aware of the ‘space’ from where my feelings come. I can recognize, unmistakably, whether I am deeply moved by the other person’s plight or I am doing just a lip service. R.I.P. Deepest condolences. Sorry to hear the news. Get well soon. Wish you/her/him a speedy recovery. Don’t worry… everything will be alright. Is there anything I can do? Any help, please let me know. Anything for you… Any time. How are you? How is your mom/dad/son/daughter/grandma/grandpa etc? How’s your business going on? How is your job going on? You will get a new job… Keep faith. I will pray for you. I have expressed of these statements at some times or the other, to some one or the other. At times, I have been just superficial and the words have just come mechanically, without a deep connect… More through a formality. Yes, just a lip service. But, many tim...