Gerald D'Cunha

  “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.” — Brian Herbert   L earning shouldn’t stop. This means, we should be lifelong learners. But, then, there are thousands of things out there, which we won’t be able to learn… Did I say, “We won’t be able to learn”? Yes, I did… For, as Brian Herbert says, “The ability to learn is a skill.” And, skills need to be honed, developed, finetunes –- either on our own (self-develop, like Ekalavya did), or under some experts and trainers… What is interesting to note is, that our ability to learn (skill) is sandwiched between our capacity to learn (gift/talent) on one side, and our willingness to learn (choice) on the other… How interesting! Take swimming for example. I think, I am capable of learning it, and I am, certainly, able to learn it. But, if I have no willingness to learn it, it clearly tells, it is because I make that choice -- not to learn. This lu...

  “The beautiful thing about setbacks is, that they introduce us to our strengths.” Robin Sharma   I am never tired of telling young kids this: “Look, you need to know your strengths and build your self-confidence around it.” When I invite them to share some of their strengths, often, I find them clueless. They seem confused between talents and strengths; sometimes, between skills and strengths. I tell them this: “Talents are God-given; you are born with them… When you become self-aware, you discover, that you have a talent to sing, dance, speak, write, paint, design, play sport, tell stories etc.” We all are born with some of these talents. When we become aware of them, some of us go about turning them into fine skills… While some of us do it on our own (self-develop), others do it through training and coaching. That’s why some of us join classes for drawing, singing, dancing, speaking, designing, teaching etc. Every talent can be turned into a fine skill – and when...

  “Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.” Mao Zedong   E very time we say, “Struggles make us strong”, we, also, ask God earnestly, to make our lives less struggle-some, if not completely struggle-free. So, it’s given, that Life comes with struggle and it stays there as long as Life stays. Only thing we get to see about struggle is, that some have more of it, and some have less of it… but, none has none of it! People like J.K. Rowling and Sindhutai Sapkal had not just more of it – they had mountains of it. But, these Legends turned their mountains of struggle to generate something sublime and make the society a better place to live in… give hope to those whose lives were struggle-some… When Life gave them lemons, they chose to make a lemonade… This was the old wisdom of the sages. In fact, J.K. Rowling said, “Rock-bottom became the solid foundation in which I built my life.”     T he life of Sindhutai Sapkal was a life of true Legend. Born ...

  “Your talent is God’s gift to you; What you do with your talent is your gift to God.” Leo Bascaglia   I n life, need we do only ‘big things’ to feel good about ourselves? And, need we do things only with great fanfare to find validation? Many a time, doing ‘small things’, quietly, seems not only unprofitable, but also unfashionable… But, trust me, doing ‘small things’, quietly, is the surest way to truly feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, the desire to do ‘big things’ with great fanfare is a bottomless pit… It seldom gives us a true feeling of self-confidence. Therefore, the key to self-confidence is to do small things with a big heart. One way of reaching out to others – by doing small things, quietly – is through our talents. We all know, that our talents are God’s gifts to us. And, as Leo Bascaglia says, “What we do with our talents is our gifts to God.” For example, God has given me the gift of teaching, writing and motivating others. I hav...

  “Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakes.” Karl Jung O ne of the often-told stories, relating to our happiness and self-worth, comes from the ancient texts – Upanishads. How timeless and how apt it is to our lives, even today! It’s the story of ‘Kasturi Mriga’ - the Musk Deer. One day, when this musk deer was roaming in a forest, it got drawn to an alluring fragrance of musk. The musk deer was so captivated by the fragrance, that it went on a long, hard and desperate search of it… It hopped from one terrain to another, one forest to another, one mountain to another… only to be alluded by it. Finally, one day, in desperation to find the source of musk fragrance, it fell off a mountain cliff… There, in that battered state, it was astonished to find, at last, where the fragrance emanated from: its own navel! Alas! By then, it was too late… What a sad ending that’s! The story of Kasturi Mriga – the musk deer – is regularly told to us to make us aware of ou...

Pic.: Pushpa Mistry Kamath “But what we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people,  and do our best to help them find their own grace. That's what I strive to do, that's what I pray to do every day.” Barack Obama T oday, a gentleman had brought his ten-year-old daughter to be enrolled for our on-going PD course (Pre-teens). Once the girl was sent inside the class, he said, “Sir, she frequently back-answers us, which worries us a lot. See if she can overcome that habit.” “We will help her to overcome; but don’t stress out... Children do back-answer while growing up... as we all had,” I tried to calm the father. “But sir, we weren’t as vocal as today’s kids are... We were not exposed to so much of TV, Internet and cell-phone stuff...” Like this, the concerned father went on... “Our parents said the same when we were growing up back-answering to them,” I said smilingly, “Every age has its own gadgets and...

A wareness has strength; great strength. One of my friends has a favorite line: “Being aware that I am not aware is mother of all awareness!” Read again this line: I am not aware… and I am aware of it. I am aware of my non-awareness… of my non-mindfulness… I am aware that I am lost… and, that is the greatest awareness!!! What an irony! All that awareness demands from me is: I should be able to watch me napping when I am not supposed to! Today, during my training session, I had urged the young-ones to spend a few moments and write down at least two of their major strengths and weaknesses. It was easy. No, it wasn’t. It was both! M ost of us do not pause to get in touch with our major strengths and weaknesses… We take them for granted. The young-ones, today, did write and share with us their strengths and weaknesses. “Being aware of your weakness is your strength, my young-friends,” I was telling them, “How else...

I come across hundreds of students who are extremely shy to speak in public! I am not talking about speaking on stage, from a podium. I am talking about just in a class when the teacher is teaching… when she is asking a question. Yes, hundreds of students become tongue-tied, blanked-out… They forget what they want to say… They fumble, make more and more mistakes… And, then, they look around and assume that all others are ‘perfect’… They assume that others are laughing at their ‘mistakes’… They assume that something is wrong with them, only with them. So, they become ‘guilty’… apologetic… even angry with themselves… frustrated or depressed. I was one such student… Desperately shy… Chronically nervous in class and at every gathering! Speaking from stage was just unthinkable… Too terrifying even to think… leave alone attempt! In class, I had the right answers. But, I had a weak heart… too weak to raise my hand… leave alone stand up! ...

Gandhi would, often, advice his over-zealous Western followers: “You do not have to convert yourself into a Hindu to lead a virtuous life; all that you have to do is: be a good Christian.” I remembered this advice when Ramesh, an ex-student of mine, had come to seek my advice, this morning. “ Sankat mein Venkat !” That’s how Ramesh thinks I am for him. Once in six months, at least, he has to see this ‘Venkat’ ! Well, though this may sound a   little embarrassing and self-glorifying – I wish to admit that even I , too, go to many such ‘Venkats’ whenever I am in my own ‘sankats’! What was Ramesh’s sankat , today?   Ramesh did his graduation some fifteen years ago, and, simultaneously did a Software course from NIIT. He comes from a very simple, hand-to-mouth, Maharashtrian joint-family. He has a complex that he can not speak in English… and, he, often, gets intimidated by his colleagues and bosses. He goofs up and gets criticized and th...