Gerald D'Cunha

  “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin   T his morning, I met an old friend after several years. When he told me where he presently lived, I exclaimed, “Wow, that’s one of the most prominent locations.” “That’s what everyone says; but, not we who live there,” my friend said. The building, as I said, was located at one of the most expensive areas. The ground floor housed luxurious clothing and jewelry brands. Each floor had just one huge flat… Each flat owner possessed a matching car, as well… Then, why was my friend saying, “but, not we who live there”? My friend explained: “Ours may be a hot property and we may be owing flats worth several crores…   But, the irony is, that we can possess only one car even if we can afford to own more… To park our cars, to get them out and to get them in… it’s our daily challenge. Then, there is noise, dust, and endless honking… Visitors have to park their cars almost a mile away and come w...

  O ne of the nails you and I hammer while we raise our houses of failure is - giving up when we feel discouraged. Trust me, it’s not easy to be optimistic and stay hopeful when this nail hits us hard. But, then, one thing is sure: If you and I love life, believe in the goodness our hearts possess – and, above all, if we recognize how fortunate we are for the blessings God has bestowed upon us, yes, right through this deep sense of gratitude for the gift of life, all our feelings of discouragement can dissolve. Nothing is going to cripple our souls till we choose to celebrate life... All of us start dreaming, because we believe in our innate goodness... not because other believe in us. Others belief in us can be a great help, but not before we believe in our own selves... Giving up when discouraged – when people say ‘No’, or show discouragement – yes, giving up when discouraged is a pure excuse. As Jim Rohn puts it, it’s a nail we allow ourselves to be hit hard with -   ...

  “Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worry and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.” Roy T. Bennett   G loom is contagious. So is happiness! These nearly-two years of Pandemic have taken all of us through this roller coaster of happiness and gloom. None has been spared. None. But, then, we all have relied on our respective coping mechanism. Getting into gloom may have seemed easy… Rather, automatic. Most of us have found ourselves simply slipping into the gloom – feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and worry about our future. From there, fortunately, many of us have bounced back. But, some of us have remained stuck, and some of us have, unfortunately, perished! I believe, this has been the familiar scenario during these unusual times. It’s tough to stay optimistic and motivated when gloom surrounds us from all sides. The more the mind focuses on ‘what we have lost’ and ‘what may happen’… yes, the more pessimistic and dejected we become. A person like me,...

O ur birth doesn’t make us ‘winners’ or ‘losers’ in life… Our choices do! When I was in high school, there were four divisions  - 'A' to 'D'. They put the scholars in ‘A’ and the duffers, like me, in ‘D’. One reason why they branded us as duffers was, because, we were the ‘vernaculars'. It was not a nice feeling to claim, that we belonged to the ‘D’ division! To me, the ‘D’ divisions have remained a metaphor, ever since… It’s the draconian rule that this world still follows… Branding us as ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. Yes, just as harsh as Draco, the famous rule-maker of Athens did! We really can’t change how people perceive us… Yes, about the localities we reside in, the schools we study in, the kind of houses and cars we own, the clothes we wear, the accent we use and, even the brands of the products we use… right from the sun glasses and shoes to the whiskey we drink… Yes, the winners and the losers, always, have made this...

“The soul that gives thanks can find comfort in everything; the soul that complains can find comfort in nothing.”  ―  Hannah Whitall Smith M y problems and my suffering are always mine… They are ‘big’… till I see someone else’s problems and suffering and realize how ‘small’ mine are. When I am stuck in my own ‘selfish’ world of self-pity and blame, I can never see how small my problems and suffering are… It is all about I, me and myself. Acceptance, I know, is the key to end my suffering. But, acceptance doesn’t come to me easily. When it does, it, invariably, comes via the long route called – ‘resistance’… Yes, when I am grief-stricken, I cry and keep asking ‘Why me?’... I throw resistance… I remain a victim. I have come to realize, that the state of acceptance is a state of grace…  Only prayerful and grateful hearts are blessed with this state. Life has problems and I am not alone in this… There are mill...

L ife is not only hectic it is also short. And, it is not so only for a few… It is so for all. Every night, while going to bed, I can only pray and hope that I will be able to wake up when the night ends… Is there any guarantee? Does anyone owe that to me? When I wake up in the morning, if I am truly spiritual by heart, then, I know that God has been kind to me, so far… It is grace that saves me… guards me through the night. So, now that I am awake and live… Here is a new day, one more day in my hand… How shall I approach it? Shall I stop and smell the little flowers on my pathway… or shall I go about smelling the rats? Every morning, when the Sun comes out, I see two groups of people around me. One group is aware of the truth that Life has been a precious gift and the day in hand is sheer bonus, a grace. So, this group walks, jogs, does Yoga, performs a puja or attends a mass… or simply goes about life with a prayerful heart… The men and women in this group know how...

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...

Pic.: Internet “One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste.” - Johann W. Goethe T he youth of our housing society have planned night cricket (under-arm) for three days, starting from tonight They want all of us – the old and the young, the ladies and the gents… and the little-ones all – to take part in it…. Yes, just for the fun of it… Just to let our hair down on these three nights, at least… Life can be as serious, as grim as we want it to be. And, the same Life can be as fun-filled, as playful as we want it to be… Yes, I know that I haven’t held a cricket bat in my hand for over forty years now… I was 17 when I played some gully cricket, back in our village… So what? Yes, so what… These young-guns are telling me: “So what, sir… You can hold the bat now, at 57!” Sandeep, who works as a senior executive with an Insurance Major - and who has two lovely school-going kids - posted this on our community group, late la...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty "If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the good things that happened in my life.” -        Arthur Ashe S ome people can charge you with energy, life. Kannan, who must be older than I am (I am 57), is one of them. You can feel he is coming from yards and yards of distance… You can feel his energy. And, he can regale you with his stories – most of them revolve around his countryside adventures… “When it is pouring, I get into my car… and drive for miles,” he told us this morning in our Tai Chi class, “I love the interiors, the rustic landscape… simple life, simple people and simple pleasures. You shouldn’t plan too much, just get into your car and go… Let the road take you!” I loved the last line: “Let the road take you!” Kannan had to battle Prostate cancer. He had started Tai Chi as per his doctor’s advice. Yes, he has immensely benef...