"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"














“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone…
It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”

– Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven


Twelve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’!

I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise!

Before I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it…

The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or painful that decision is for them…  I do not wish to gossip about it, nor sit on any judgment seat…

The fact, that I and my wife could stay together in a marriage for more than twenty-five years – yes, that fact stares at me and makes me only humble, grateful and graceful in life…

“Happily ever after is not a fairy-tale. It’s a choice,” says Fawn Weaver. The advice continues,
“A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.”

The more I think about any long-lasting, rock-steady and lifetime marriage… the more I think about how my wife and I could last in marriage this long… the more I get convinced, that we ‘chose to’… Yes, we chose to look beyond our imperfections… we chose to overlook our flaws… overhear our outbursts… we chose to come back and say ‘I am sorry’… we chose to renew our promise made on the wedding day… ‘In good times and bad times… in our health and sickness… I shall be by your side”…

Yes, a happy marriage is not a fairy-tale… It is a ‘choice’ the couple makes…

Well, happy in marriage all the time?

Come on… Don’t tell me that!

I like what Diane Sollee says about marriage:  “They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.”

Did you hear that?... Solid, stable marriages!

I repeat in the end: I have no business to comment on anyone else’s marriage. I only want to assert here – rather, my wife and I pray – that we want to remain solid and stable in our marriage… no matter what comes along our way…

We sincerely pray!


GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Internet

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...