Gerald D'Cunha

One of the expressions, I, often, use, as I go about my life, is: “I am proud.” “I am proud of you.” I say this to compliment a near and dear one… may be my friend, relative, student and so on. I say that to participate in his joy, to motivate him further. “I am very proud of myself.” I say this, sometimes, to express my profound satisfaction on something worthwhile I have achieved, including my own behavior or action. When I have helped someone - if he feels happy because of my helping hand or kind words or my humane gesture, I feel immensely satisfied… and, that is the time, I find myself saying, “I feel proud of myself.” And, every time the expression – “I am proud” – comes from out of my heart, I also find myself checking with my heart: “Have I said it out of arrogance? Is it my false pride?”  This self-examination, keeps me firmly grounded.  Yes, there is a very thin line between a healthy pride and an unhealthy pr...

About ten minutes before my morning lecture, today, Ritesh* sent me this sms: “Gd mng sir. I just left home; will be late for class by 5 min. Hope, you don’t mind, sir. Thanks.” I replied, immediately, “No problem, Ritesh. Come.” Meanwhile, I got another sms… This one was from Heena*: “Can’t come for class at 4 today. When to come tmro?” I did not reply to her for two hours. Then, I sent this one: “At 4 tmro.” Actually, Heena’s message was in this shape: “Can’t cum 4clss at4 2dy wen2 cum 2mro???” That’s okay… I would have still replied her, immediately. But, what made me a bit ‘sick’ was the plain apathy… the indifference… the insensitivity… the lack of respect, if I should put it in an old-fashioned way.  “Sir, I can’t cum 4clss at4 tdy. Can u pl tell me wen can i come 2mro?”… Or, “Sir I am sorry, I am not able to attend the class today at 4. Can I attend anytime tmor at ur convenience, sir. Appreciate, if...

“Alto hai meri gaadi; Nokia hai mera phone… aur Bata hai mere jootey… bolo kidhar jaana hai, kisko milna hai…” Someone, who I know, was here with me, today. He was talking about the unnecessary stress many of us invite by choosing a false lifestyle. Rather, choosing to live a lie. He is a member of one of the popular gymkhanas… and, he was describing to me as to how some members try to be what they really are not!  So, when Audi, I-Phone, Gucci and Christian Dior were the basic requirements to ‘feel okay’ for many of them, it seems, during one of their discussions, this gentleman had shouted at them: “Alto hai meri gadi; Nokia hai mera phone… aur Bata hai mere jootey… bolo kidhar jaana hai, kisko milna hai…” “Once you tell a lie, it, immediately, puts a strain on you,” this man told me, “You have to remember what exactly you have told… You have to, always, remember it just like your Password… Guard against it… rema...

Gandhi would, often, advice his over-zealous Western followers: “You do not have to convert yourself into a Hindu to lead a virtuous life; all that you have to do is: be a good Christian.” I remembered this advice when Ramesh, an ex-student of mine, had come to seek my advice, this morning. “ Sankat mein Venkat !” That’s how Ramesh thinks I am for him. Once in six months, at least, he has to see this ‘Venkat’ ! Well, though this may sound a   little embarrassing and self-glorifying – I wish to admit that even I , too, go to many such ‘Venkats’ whenever I am in my own ‘sankats’! What was Ramesh’s sankat , today?   Ramesh did his graduation some fifteen years ago, and, simultaneously did a Software course from NIIT. He comes from a very simple, hand-to-mouth, Maharashtrian joint-family. He has a complex that he can not speak in English… and, he, often, gets intimidated by his colleagues and bosses. He goofs up and gets criticized and th...

  "Before you embark on the journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Just flashed on TV before a movie.... Really made me think...Revenge is nothing but death of relations. Instead, dig one grave and bury the feelings of revenge, hatred and anger deep into it. Well, before you embark on this Post, let me confess: Pinky, a friend of mine, shared the above thoughts on her FB Status, last evening. It immediately caught my attention, and, I assured her that I would be writing on this subject. And, here I go… Now, I liked the idea of digging two graves. But, for whom?  Obviously, one for my enemy… whose pound of flesh I seek… The other?  Pinky has suggested, only one grave is enough:  to bury our feelings of anger, hatred and revenge. I agree with her. Because, if we bury our feelings of anger, hatred and revenge in one grave, before we go on our war-path, what is the other grave for?  ...

  “We get back what we give to others.” Today, this thought has been playing on my head. And, each time the thought returns to play, it leaves me a lot relieved – lighter, happier and peaceful. What I give to others… I, certainly, know. If I consciously try to be kind, just and loving to them, will it help me? What if, the other person doesn’t reciprocate? What if, he behaves towards me in an unkind, unfair and cruel way? And, let me see it in its opposite way too: What if I consciously try to be unkind, unfair and cruel to the other person? What will I get in return? Which is better: to be consciously kind, just and loving to my fellow-being, or, to be unkind, unfair and vindictive? There is a popular Jataka Tale. Each time, I recall it, it makes me smile…  To be kind, just and loving to my fellow-being is my ‘duty’…, my dharma, my religion… When he doesn’t reciprocate – tries to ...

On Sunday, when my wife and I had gone to watch ‘Premium Rush’, we met our friends Sunil and Komal in the theatre.  I said ‘friends’… Yes, they are. However, about twenty-five years ago, they both were my students. Both were keen to do Chartered Accountancy after their graduation. Doing Chartered Accountancy had always been tough… very competitive… With tight results, even the brightest kids had to repeat the exams, very often.  But, I do not remember seeing either Sunil or Komal approaching their dream with any sort of over-anxiety… They weren’t neurotic, panic-stricken, at all, as far as my memory goes back.   Yet, both of them achieved their coveted goals smoothly… Yes, with appropriate amount of passion, commitment and focus.  Today, both of them are well-placed in their field. Yash is the only child of Sunil and Komal, who, now, is doing his eleventh standard Science. Incidentally, Yash had been under me in our grooming sess...