Gerald D'Cunha

  “The Universe is not short on wake-up calls; we are just quick to hit the snooze button.” Brene Brown   I s there a ‘perfect’ time to make amends in life? I think, no matter what, we make amends in life – call it course correction – only when the time to do so shows up. And, generally, when that time shows up, it does as a wake-up call… That’s why, wake-up calls in life are necessary to shake us up hard and wake us up to make changes. Brene Brown reminds us: “The Universe is not short on wake-up calls; we are just quick to hit the snooze button.” T wo days ago, a dear friend of mine was telling me how one of the wake-up calls shook him hard, one late night… This friend’s company had asked him to move to Canada to handle extensive volume of work covering various parts of the world. The job responsibility and the family responsibility, often, find themselves at loggerheads. Two school-going kids, wife and elderly parents in India – the house, car and educat...

  “Running a marathon with a backpack is tough and may hinder you from winning the race. Don’t let the baggage of your past   - heavy with fear, guilt and anger – slow you down.” Maddy Malhotra   T here is a couple I know. They are in their mid-seventies. Everyone who knows them says, that they never fight, never even argue… The husband, particularly. Well, because several people say that, including the grown-up children of this couple, I have to swallow my doubt about it. I am compelled to believe, that there is a sizable number of humans on this planet, who behave gently even when things don’t go right in their lives… I said, “When things don’t go right in their lives”… Didn’t I? When things go right – when we are not challenged – it’s easy for all of us to behave gently – speak gently and act gently… That’s easy. But, when our chips are down – when things don’t go the   way we want them to – yes, that’s when our character is tested… Remember the ...

  “If you try to do your best, there is no failure.” Mike Farrell   T hroughout my school and college years, my marks had been very poor… Just like Raju Rastogi’s (Sharman Joshi) in the popular Hindi film, ‘3 Idiots’. Long before this film had come, (2009), I was asked the same question by my interviewer when I had gone for my first teaching job at the Atomic Energy Junior College (1981): “Your marks have been consistently low – any reason?” Raju had a clear and composed answer to this question: “Fear, Sir.” Somehow, I was picked for the ‘temporary’ job… and, like the new Raju, who had come there not with a begging mindset, but with the confidence, that even if he was rejected, he would not be disappointed and afraid, as he would certainly figure out what to do with his life – yes, I was telling the same thing to my own interviewer, :”Sir, I am passionate about teaching… That’s the only thing I will be doing in my life.” I got that temporary job at the junior Colle...

  “It’s always the ones who know the least about you  who judge you the most.” Anonymous   T here seems to be an unexplainable thrill in gossiping about other people’s lives… I mean, their private lives. It’s a strange thrill, as if like an orgasm… Sorry for being a bit colourful, here! In one of our High School lessons, we had an interesting lesson… It was one of the essays of A. G. Gardiner… It’s titled ‘On Keyhole Morals’. It dealt with our innate and insatiable curiosity to know what is happening in other people’s private lives… Yes, to see it, secretly, through the keyholes of their rooms! And, right since my childhood days, I would hear the Priests in church trying to drill into our little skulls what Jesus had said, “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eyes, but fail to see a log in your own?” … “You hypocrites!” We still assume, that Jesus called the Pharisees of His time with that blunt expression… We think, hypocrites live no longer, today...

  “The more you eat, the less flavour; the less you eat, the more flavour.” Chinese Proverb   M y elder brother, Franklin, had a large circle of friends when he was a young boy. One evening, a friend of theirs had invited eight of them to his house for a dinner. The friend’s family was known for a judicious lifestyle… They cooked less, seldom wasted any food or indulged in any sort of excess. So, that evening, when my brother and his seven other friends went around the dining table at their friend’s house, they were in for a shock: besides a moderate quantity of rice, chicken gravy, some veg dish, there were sannas (soft idlis prepared at Mangalorean/Goan Catholic houses)… But, only ten or so in number! Each one in the group took one sanna.. . “Eat very, very slowly,” the leader of my brother’s mischievous group instructed in whispers, “You won’t be able to pick another from the table.” So, they settled for one sanna each, and kept munching and chewing like a cow,...

  “Thank God, I found the ‘Good’ in goodbye.” Beyonce Knowles   T he plastic bucket-chair, on which I am presently sitting and typing this Post, was bought by me more than three decades ago. I had bought four such chairs, and all four are still sturdy. The friend, from whose shop I had bought those chairs, continues to be my friend… and, his chairs, too, continue to be my loyal companions. To me, what is a chair for, except for sitting on them and typing my posts, the way I am doing now? Even if I replace this chair with a sophisticated chair, say worth 25 K, will it make any difference to my writing work, my stories, my simple joy? I realized it long ago, that the kind of chair I was using had no relevance to the kind of stories I was writing. So, I continue to use the same-old bucket chairs… They are still going strong, just as my storytelling mind does… Our possessions are all there for our temporary use… When we let them possess us, use us – comes the danger… t...

  “Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” Helen Keller   I don’t think, that there is anyone around us, who doesn’t realize the importance of being positive in life. Yes, the energy and motivation to do well and do good in life come from a positive state of mind. But, I, also, don’t think, that there is anyone around us, who thinks it’s possible to stay positive, ‘always’. Writing by blogs, teaching my students and several such activities give me the greatest joy. That is the positive space I long to be in… But, I have seen, during the course of writing and teaching, that, at times, I can literally touch the negativity… Irritations, frustrations, gloom, lack, impatience and, even, arrogance. All this springs up right through my day… There are times, when I tend to lose trust in people, lose hope… feel bitter about life… But, but, but… Not always. Mercifully, these gloomy bouts, like smokey clouds, do pass quickly, l...

  “Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience; knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” Hal Borland   I have narrated this incident several times before, while dwelling on the subject of patience… Some twenty-five years ago, I had been for a check-up at a Cardiologist’s clinic. This doctor happened to be someone who admired my work and cared for me as a person. I was there at his   clinic during the peak hours of his consultancy, and several patients were waiting for their turn to come… The doctor seemed not at all affected by this. After completing my check-up, he started discussing about health and well-being in a holistic context… “You are still young, and you’re truly needed around,” he said. Then, he went on to motivate me to look forward to living with zest and resolve… The doctor had already given me a great deal of his time and care. But, I was feeling restless, and guilty, too. “Doctor, you have so many patients waiting there outside,” ...

  “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” Confucius   I don’t think, that, there exists a single soul on this planet who hasn’t been hurt by someone, or he/she hasn’t hurt someone. “To err is human.” This statement hasn’t been tossed around as just one more proverb. We are humans; hence, we err… We hurt others, including our own. And, others, including our own, do hurt us. That fact said, and that truth accepted, now what? Should we hold on to those hurts? Keep remembering, reminding, digging, re-digging those painful memories? Let’s pause for a moment and recall: Has digging, re-digging, remembering, reminding – accusing, blaming, screaming, swearing, threatening, emotional-blackmailing… yes, has any of these, which seems so familiar a thing for each of us, really helped one bit? Or, have all of these only added more mess and turmoil into our already turmoiled lives? F unny it sounds! We want peace and happiness; we want to walk light and f...

  “Maturity is not when we start speaking big things; It is when we start understanding small things.” Anonymous   F or quite some time, I have been getting a bit irritated with one of my junior-college students. The reasons can make you think how ‘silly’ I could be… to get irritated with this young man. Look at this one – the latest one. I had sent a message about today’s (8 a.m.) class to a group of students, including our young man. While all others in the group replied, “Yes Sir”, this young man, as usual, did not respond. I was concerned whether he had read my message or not (He had told me earlier, that he had deactivated the ‘blue-tick sign). So, before I went to bed, I sent one more message, “Beta , did you read my message?”… He instantly replied with a ‘Thumbs-up’! “What a busy man!” I grumbled aloud in irritation… “Who?” my wife asked me. I told her who it was, and why was I yelling – “What a busy man!” “Silly,” my wife tried to awaken me, “such a sma...