Gerald D'Cunha

  “People are, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered…   Love them anyway.” Dr. Kent M. Keith   W hen we say, ‘Humans are complex beings’, it includes all of us. If I think, others’ behaviour is, often, illogical, unreasonable and self-centered, others, by all probability, would think the same way about my behaviour… People are thankless… Well, people say, I, too, am… One of the toughest things to do for me is to take things less personally – if not completely avoid taking it so. My interpretations of others’ behaviour – their mood swings, sulkings, reactions, words etc. – are the reasons why there are mood swings and sulkings in me, too. So, why someone behaves towards me the way he/she does – well, the more I refrain from interpreting and weaving stories around it, the better it is for my mental hygiene… You see, I have no control on others’ behaviour. Their mood swings, reactions, blame, accusations – are not my creations; it’s their own… Ju...

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   “H ow’s is your health?”… a woman asked me, gently, a while ago. I had many options to choose my reply from: “Not so good”… “Doctors say this and that”… “Reports say this and that”… Well, these kinds of responses come quite easily… Complaints immediately draw sympathy, you see. And - we may not like to admit it – we long for sympathy from others. But, then, if I had replied to the question – “How’s your health?” – saying, “It’s Great!”… that’s not the truth either. Telling someone your health is ‘Great’, when it’s actually not, is a lie. You are deceiving not only others, but also yourself. So, this morning, I, instantly, replied to the woman, when asked gently – “How is your health?”, “It’s good, no complaints.” The woman, who asked me the question, seemed impressed by my rejoinder - “No complaints”, and said, “I like that phrase...

  “Be kind to others. Because, the world is dealing with three pandemics same time: Greed, Corruption and Corona Virus.” De philosopher, DJ Kyos   “H ello Sir, how’re you? This is my new number; please save. Please do get in touch with me whenever you plan to visit our beautiful land.” Who was this man, and which beautiful land was he referring to? Both, my wife and I, had a desire to visit beautiful Kashmir – which was, always, hailed as ‘The Heaven on Earth’ - for a long time. But, for a very long time, our desire was crushed under the painful reality of endless insurgency on the one side and the merciless deluge on the other. It took decades for the people of Kashmir – whose main livelihood depended on tourism – to limp their way back to normalcy. So, in the summer of 2016, when our 25 th wedding anniversary was approaching, we both decided to fulfil one of our long-cherished-but-buried wishes. By then, tourism was substantially back. A couple of our family...

“Many think that assigning blame settles matters.” Mason Cooley A s a human race, we have been preloaded with this one unique trait: We all want, desperately, someone to place our blame on! I mean, the moment we face a problem, we instantaneously look for someone who is responsible for that problem… and, once we find one - there we go after him/her/them – all hammer and tongs! Whether we accept it or not, we strangely believe, that when we find who is responsible for our problems, our problems go… Like this Corona! Who is responsible for it, by the way? China… Muslims… Meat-eaters… Fake News, Godi Media… Presstitutes… Government… Opposition… Foreign nationals… Migrating labourers…   Nehru… Gandhi Family… Vadras… Dharavi… Yogi… Modi… Trump… Doctors, Nurses, Delivery Boys… Currency Notes ... Who? Just imagine this: how relieved the mind feels the moment we place the blame on one of these… and, vehemently remain convinced about...

Pic.: Alwyn Mathais “If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is.” - Angelina Jolie T he ‘box’, Angelina is referring to, is our mind. Unless, we bring ourselves out of the rut – the image – we are in, we shall, always, be held captive there. Yes, inside the ‘box’. Someone had said it, rather bluntly, this way: “A rag-picker’s son will, always, remain a rig-picker as long as he has the image of the rag-picker.” And, that’s the story of each and every one of us… We have this image of the situation in which we are born and grown… That’s our ‘box’, our ‘image’… our ‘world’. So, till we don’t look at it hard and decide to re-sketch this image, decide to re-write our script, we will, always, remain caught-up in our ‘boxes’. There should be something bigger than us calling us, all the time… There should be something greater challenging us, all the time… A bigger vision, a greater cause… a ...

Pic.: Vinod Krishnan I was on way to my Tai Chi class, this morning. While waiting at the signal, my eyes fell on a large banner relating to health drive. “TAKE STAIRS AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.” Well, of the many things written on that banner, I could read this one, in that brief moment… “If you can give at least 15 minutes, every day, for your body’s health, that is the greatest service you could do to yourself,” a lady told me, later in the class, “Our health should be in our own hands, not in our doctors’.” How true it is! We run to doctors for silliest of the reasons… spend thousands of rupees on tests, swallow loads of pills… All this makes our situation only worse! But, then, why blame doctors for our own sins? My own doctors have repeatedly advised me – with all the gentleness and honesty in their hearts – to follow these very basic and simple things in life: Eat sensibly… Exercise – whatever way it may be – for at least 15 minutes a day… Tak...

Pic.: Malabika Ganguly S ome days ago, Ajay*, a friend of mine, called up to seek some help from me. His nephew, who was studying in a convent school, had to seek admission in a new school as boys could study in the particular school only till fourth standard. As the boy’s elder brother studied in another reputed school around, the parents had approached the head of this school for the younger-one’s admission, and, they were promised. But, in the last minute, the school expressed its inability to accommodate the younger sibling. The reason given seemed quite genuine, though shattering. The parents kept visiting the school and began to plead for the admission, but all in vain. Finally, they were sternly told not to ‘disturb’ anymore... It seemed to be the end of the pursuit, as far as that school was concerned... Time had run out; all schools had, already, started. Relying totally on the verbal promise and not keeping any back-up option, now, seemed a terrible mistake...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.”   ―   Elizabeth Gilbert T his morning, during our PD session, I encouraged our young-ones to share about any deep resentment they held in their minds, about anyone in their lives. A good-looking young-boy, who wanted to pursue acting, spoke about his deep resentment for one of his dad’s acts. He was angry with his dad for sending him to a Marathi-medium school. “When the whole world sent their children to English-medium schools, my dad sent me to a Marathi medium school... And, because of this, today, I cannot speak English.” Many shared their own stories of resentment... The interesting point to note about resentment  is, that, we – including me – yes, we all have our respective areas of resentments in our lives... and, we have been holding them in our minds for years on... right from our childho...

Pic. : Chetna Shetty I n the ICU waiting-room at Jaslok, a person - who has been waiting there for over ten days, for his critically-ill wife to recover from brain tumor – has placed at least six inspirational or spiritual books. One of them is ‘Daily Teachings’ by Rhonda Byren, the author of the famous DVD film, and the book, ‘The Secret’. When my eyes fell on this book, for the first time, I couldn't resist. He immediately handed the book to me and said, “This is for sharing.” I was touched. Ever since that moment, that book has been there in the waiting room in circulation... People just pick it up, read a few short-passages contained in the book (There are 366 short inspirational-passages)... and, they go back and place the book on his seat... I do the same thing... Go, pick it up... read a few of those passages... feel the silence... and, then, go and keep the book back... This hard-bound book is costing Rs.499/-... And, believe me, nobody dares to ro...

Pic.: Manoj Nair I t’s sheer pleasure to help someone succeed... and be a part of his or her success story. I feel very happy, proud and fulfilled whenever I think about it... Though I believe that my success is my responsibility, I, also, know that I can not do it alone... I need help along my success journey... and, therefore, I must be humble enough to seek help, I must be deserving enough to receive it... I must be grateful enough whenever I find it... “Seek, you shall find... Ask, you shall receive... Knock, the door shall open for you...” I convey this Biblical message to the youngsters, at the end of, almost, every training session; I give the link of my Blog as well as my cell-number and tell them: “Never, ever say, there is no help... Never ever say, there are no opportunities to learn and grow in life.” I say that with all my honesty,  and with no strings attached... And, many young-ones call me up later, get connected to me through FB or ...