Gerald D'Cunha

  “Strength does not come from physical capacity; it comes from indominable will.” Mahatma Gandhi   T he more you focus on the evil people and the evil world outside, the more depressed you tend to become inside. No matter how good you wish to be - and strive to be – the evil in human soul shall continue to prevail. The only sane thing to do, amid such a reality, is to focus on the goodness within… and strive to spread it, even it means, a little bit… each time, over and over and over again. This morning, my wife and I had visited a senior citizen. He has been one of the finest gentlemen we had known for years… An incorrigible optimist, absolutely positive and caring – at times sounding quite innocent and blindly trusting – this gentle soul, of late, had slipped into a bitter state… People, who he had trusted, had cheated him… The good people, who he had known, had been hounded by evil people… His own innocence, goodness and trust in the world outside had been put to...

  “If you want to test your memory, try recalling what you were worrying about one year ago.” E. Joseph Crossman   T hose who know me only through my blogs and books, think that I am a calm and composed person, who they can seek advise from whenever they are anxious and worried in their lives. On the other hand, those who know me closely through my daily association with them – and not through my blogs or books – yes, they think, that I am a perpetually anxious and worried soul! They fondly call me ‘Worry D’Cunha’, instead of Gerry D’Cunha! And, yes, they seriously think, that I need to take things not so seriously and should do something about my ‘nerves’. Which means, seek help from some therapist! So, who is the real ‘Me’ – the one who is ‘sought’ or the one who ‘seeks’? Let me confess, all over again, and with all the humility in my heart: If I wasn’t an anxious and worried soul, I wouldn’t have written my daily blogs or any of my books… Anxiety and worryin...

  “Nothing vast enters the life of mortals without a curse.” Sophocles   M ahima*, my eleventh-standard student, has been very particular about her commitment to my Zoom sessions. Also, she has been very particular about doing her homework. Ditto, I learnt, has been her commitment to her college and other tutors. So, last afternoon, when she did not connect on Zoom, I and some of her fellow students kept calling and messaging her – ‘What happened’? … ‘The session has started’… ‘We are waiting’… ‘Please join’…!” But, the messages were left unread and the calls were left unattended. Knowing her well, I concluded, that she must be really unwell. Thus, we continued with the session without Mahima. This morning, there was a short e-mail from Mahima: “Good Morning Sir, I hope, you are doing well. I couldn’t attend any class yesterday; or, even for that matter, I couldn’t use any device, as it has a screen. I was having a severe headache and doctor told me to take res...

  “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and, often times, we call a man cold when he is only sad.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow W henever people start participating in an online challenge – such as the recent ‘Couple Challenge’, ‘Daughter Challenge’, ‘Son Challenge’, ‘Saree Challenge’, etc. – I look at some of them and smile, or simply let them pass by. Rarely, I try to ridicule them. Yes, they may seem to some of us as shallow or cosmetic; but, if they make the rest of us feel a little lighter and alive, why don’t we just let them be? Personally, I don’t believe in either inviting someone to accept any such challenge or in accepting anyone’s invitation. Life throws fresh challenges everyday; and, therefore, I don’t need more of them to prove how strong or powerful – or even how happy and playful – I am. So, let all those social-media challenges be… Let people participate and feel happy, or make fun of them and feel happy… My Post, today, is in ap...

"It’s not the mountain we conquer, it’s ourselves.” Edmund Hillary O n May 27, this year, my cousin Oscar and his wife Mavis completed twenty-five years of their marriage. They had plans to celebrate the event in a grand way. But, due to lockdown, they had to forego all the band-baaja . A couple of days before the big day, Danika, their college-going daughter, sent to me a friend-request on FB. As soon as I accepted it, I saw this message in the inbox: “Hello Gerry Uncle, my dad and mom will be completing twenty-five years of their marriage on 27th  May. I and Dane (her brother) will be compiling a video of our parents' close friends and relatives sharing their fondest memories about dad and mom. Can you, too, share yours? We want to give them a surprise… Please keep it as a secret.” Well, Oscar is my dad’s younger sister’s son. I had a lot to say about this fine gentleman and his gracious wife. So, I decided to do it through the way best known to me –...

W hat is good for the mind is good for the body. And, its opposite is, also, true – what is good for the body is good for the mind. If I feed junk into my belly, the body will, surely, react with discomfort… sooner or later that is. Similarly, if I keep feeding junk into my mind, won’t my mind react with discomfort… irritation, anger, sadness, prejudice, hatred, loss of empathy, even violence? The interesting thing is this: Just as the junk-food habit has crept into our eating system, over a period of time, the habit of junk-thinking, too, has crept into our thinking system, slowly, over a period of time… All of us, by now, are these junkies… endlessly surfing those useless videos and forwards… one after another then another and then another. We do not need the idiot box anymore… We do not need the ‘hall rooms’… Even the toilet will do… Even the holy places and the grave yards! Many of my friends have begun to realize what this frantic addiction to social me...

“It’s not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes, it’s the smile we fake.” - Anonymous “T hink: one of the most important ways to be cured from anxiety and depression is overcoming whatever you're addicted to, and I am not just talking about alcohol and drugs. There are many other things a person can be addicted to.” I came across this comment from a viewer while watching a powerful video on overcoming depression. The video was put together by using powerful messages from many famous people, including some well-known psychologists, authors and motivational speakers.  Though the intention of this video was to help overcome depression, I felt, that the video itself, at places, was dark and depressing. Maybe I am wrong, here. I would prefer to watch some funny videos of little babies, cats and dogs. Such videos lift me up from my depression... They make me feel so relaxed and make my heart smile. To me, they are the best antid...

“Times will change for the better when you change.”  ―  Maxwell Maltz A friend of mine and his family had planned to visit Kerala on a short trip. They were to leave today evening. I asked him, “Is it safe to travel at this point of time? The images and the reports are scary.” “We are evaluating whether to go or not,” my friend replied. At the time I was communicating with my friends, a certain anxiety of mine was weighing me down. “What may happen?” is the constant question that weighs us down when we are anxious about our future. Despite all my positive thinking, I know, that my immunity level against anxiety is quite low… I become anxious, quickly… I get into depressing thoughts... I worry. But, fortunately, this cycle passes. And, once this entire cycle is over, I shed off my anxiety and march on… “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,” Kahlil Gibran says, “but from wanting to control it.” The friend ...

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -   Rollo May M any of us were left rattled by the news of Himanshu Roy’s death! For the uninitiated, Himanshu Roy, 54, was a supercop. He studied in Mumbai St. Xavier's College, completed his Chartered Accountancy (CA), passed IPS exam in 1989… went on to hold many top-cop positions across Maharashtra including that of Additional Commissioner of Police, South Mumbai. He presided over several high-voltage cases… and, as fate would have it, he was sidelined into less significant operations… Then, Cancer took over Himanshu Roy’s life… There was no way of bouncing back, after that! Many of us would look at the magnificent personality of Himanshu Roy with envy and admiration, both. His was a rare sight to behold in the police department… He was a fitness freak – strong, tall, bold and handsome… very articulate, too… He loved the limelight. I, always, thought, that...