Gerald D'Cunha

  “State calls its own violence - Law; but, that of the individual - Crime.” Max Stirner   My friends and relatives may hold different viewpoints from those of mine on social, political, religious, cultural issues. My spouse and son may hold opposing views… My students, my colleagues, my neighbours – it’s the same everywhere… which means, I cannot expect you to think – and view the world – exactly as I do… In a democractic society, each one of us has this privilege of harbouring and expressing his/her respective viewpoints; and, that puts equal responsibility on each one of us to be patient with each other – to accommodate, tolerate and respect each one’s rights… I think, it is one of the hardest lessons each individual has to learn and practice… Just be patient with others, be more tolerant and accommodating. It’s okay if others – however near and dear they are – do not agree with my viewpoints… Let them feel free to express and assert. It doesn’t make me any wea...

D o we have to agree with everything everyone says every time? The ‘everyone’ may be my best friend, parents, teachers, authorities and the government? My son is 27 and I am 61. When he was a baby, yes, he agreed with whatever I tried to teach him or convey… It’s no more so, now. And, that’s how it should be… I, seriously, think so. The movies, music, icons, leaders and philosophy that I love, my son may not… my wife may not. But, we are not enemies, we are not each other’s conspirators. In fact, I wonder, at times, if my son and wife had agreed with everything I believed in and every time… what kind of mind theirs would have been! Herd mentality… Just think about it! For thirty years, The Dawn Club has been helping young ones and little ones to speak and debate in public. Our senior Sir, Mr. Ramakrishnan, would, often, use the phrase – ‘The Parliamentarian Language’… to convey to us all, that we should be civil, gentle, graceful and, yet...

Pic.: Bhushan Thakkar O ne of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in my life – rather, I am still learning – is: the art of managing disagreements. In fact, a genuine realization that another person around me can have – and, often, does have - another view point, itself, is a very fine lesson. From this very first realization stems the rest of my wisdom:  That, the other person has the right to voice his view, his disagreement, and, I must be confident and graceful enough to respect his view… discuss it out… and, strive for a consensus; That, when there is disagreement, it is only a disagreement… and, there is nothing personal about it; That, it is an opportunity for me to be a strong, sensitive and accommodating person, and, thereby, to enhance my self-confidence and leadership skills; That, if the other person is weak and takes things personally, I must learn not to get into the ‘trap’ and play the same game; That, b...