Gerald D'Cunha

  Pic.: Vinod Krishnan     “You may strive to be like them (your children), But seek not to make them like you. For, Life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.”   - KAHLIL GIBRAN I n my school days, there were two kinds of teachers.   The first kind was the majority: They were too strict… quick to react on our mistakes and indiscipline… They punished us for the smallest of the smallest things even… Threw us out of the class, sent us frequently to the Head Master’s room… They regularly packed us back home, summoned our parents… And yes, they even thrashed us black and blue (and got away with it easily in those days).    The other kind was the minority: They were more tolerant towards our ‘sins’… tried to change us by constant counseling, trust, patience and foresight… Yes, they did lose their patience, did shout and scream at us… but, that was not to ‘punish’ us, but to ‘change’ us, help us see our mistakes and m...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty N o matter how inspiring I sound to be in my daily posts, and no matter how much I talk about ‘values’ in my writings… let me tell you this straight: I am no Satya Harishchandra! Yes, I have in me the same devil who tempts me to sin, cheat, lie and take short-cuts, now and then… here and there… Maybe, I am not a big-time thief, a professional con-man or a chronic liar or whatever that is… I still lie, still show greed, and still try to be selfish and self-centered… Well, am I telling all this for effect? There is no need for me to do it, sir… I remember I was in third  standard. It was one afternoon, back home in Mangalore, my village. I was walking along a road with one of my older cousins when I sighted a wallet on the road. I instantly grabbed it and opened it… Inside, there was a ten-rupee note and some papers. I quickly plucked the note and tucked in one of my pockets and tucked the wallet with rest of the papers in th...

Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar I t is more than a month now since our young-ones started attending this PD course. One of the most common concerns of all parents is the conflict with heir young children at home. That’s the concern of the young-ones, too. There is conflict at home… loud arguments, anger, frustration and sulking. Parents complain that their young children do not listen to them, they are insensitive. The children, on the other hand, think that their parents do not understand their feelings, they are insensitive. So, to help reduce this conflict, I make them speak on the subject, both, on stage and in GD’s. “When you go out with your friends, particularly at night, if parents want to know – where you go, why you go, with whom you go and at what time you will be back, is it fair on their part to do so… Or, is it too much of controlling?” I asked our young-ones to discuss in the GD, today. I was impressed with what I heard. Though, almost all of them voi...

Pic.: Vinod Krishnan T here are only two ways in which I can save myself from falling in a ditch: One, by heeding to the wise and well-meant advice of my well-wishers – parents, teachers, friends and such… Two, by ignoring their advice and falling in the ditch, itself! “Sir, my son will never learn from my advice or your advice,” the mother of a 19-year-old told me, one day, over the phone, “he will learn only from falling in the ditch.” The ‘ditch’ was young-man’s T.Y. B’Com exam! The mother was right. Both parents were highly qualified and worked very hard to give the best to their son… including the best of advice… But, then, but then… Here, in my class, I, too, did the same thing. Besides the best teaching in their subject, I would give him and others the best of advice, as well… Yes, wise, kind and well-meant advice... “You guys are not doing well, not because you are weak,” I would remind my students, repeatedly, “It is because you d...

Pic.: Rachna Talreja I n the afternoon, yesterday, a gentleman and his wife, who looked in their mid-fifties, had brought their son to me. They wanted to enroll him, here, for F.Y. BMS. I was told that the young-man was their only child, born after ten years of their marriage. During the discussion, the parents asked me about the text-book. I had, before me, a copy of the text-book which I showed to the young-man.   “Write it down,” the father handed his pen to the son. The son pulled the i-phone from his pocket and, in a second, clicked a picture of the text-book... The father looked at his wife, bewildered, as he tucked the pen back into his shirt pocket. The mother offered me a broad smile... “The new-age young-kid, sir,” I could read the language of her smile, “We are old-timers.” “You have to teach this to your dad and mom, too, dear,” I said gently to my prospective student. “They have a big mental-block for all thi...

Should parents discuss with their young children the financial problems at home? I really think, they should. Now, many parents do not let their young-ones know the kind of financial pressures that prevail at home. They think, their young sons and daughters should not feel the brunt… That they should be made to feel that everything is going okay… Everything is not going okay, dear! The young-boys and girls at home are not babies any more. They are young adults… They are going to be responsible house-holders soon… Then, they will have the same question before them: “Should our financial problems be discussed with our young-ones or not?” They should, I repeat… This morning, a mother had brought her young daughter to enroll in twelfth. They were opting for only two subjects and, looking at the way they carried themselves, I couldn’t imagine that there was a crushing financial problem at their place. Mother opened up quickly an...

If roses and cactus both are needed to make our gardens, and if both of them have their own place and an irreplaceable beauty about them… then, this must be said: “Let the roses be… Let the cactus be.” A worried parent was talking to me on phone, this morning. He and his wife are really worried about their young son. The young boy is just unwilling to work hard, focus on what they had thought as his career would be: Medicine. No, the boy seems way behind and frustration is consuming the hearts of his parents. In life, it is very difficult to let go… Yes, for all of us. In this case, it is difficult for the parents to let go of their ‘control’… their clinging to their ideas, plans, aspirations about their son… even the social image, unwittingly, they have webbed around their hearts… It is tough to accept and come to terms with the reality that their son is a ‘young man’ now and he does assert, does resist, does rebel…and, all this is for the rig...

Little children are so pure, so beautiful. These days, I spend a lot of my time with these innocent angels… Yes, to teach them some things, which will help them grow up as fine individuals in life. The world calls such things as ‘Personality Development’. Whatever they call it, it is about growing up in life with a strong mind and a beautiful heart. Yes, a healthy body, as well.  From my own experience of growing up over all my fifty-four years in this world, I have been whispering in those lovely hearts two things in this regard: “Honey, don’t complain too much.”… “Learn to forget and forgive quickly.” In fact, little children have the shortest memory: One moment they fight like worst enemies; the next moment they cozy-up like the best pals! That’s really so refreshing about children. They don’t bear grudges; they don’t conspire against others… They don’t like poison in their hearts… In fact, they do not know what poison is! Beari...