Gerald D'Cunha

  “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -      Dolly Parton   A couple of days ago, a lady called me seeking some help for her young son, her only child. She held a good position in a large organization. “Sir, my son is doing his grade 10 in so and so school (one of the sought-after ones). He is excellent in his studies, and communication… He is a voracious reader and writes, too, well. But, I want him to learn how to structure his presentations better, face interviews efficiently (for studies abroad, perhaps) and manage some of his anxiety…” From my experience, parents of grade 10 students, normally, are so stuck with academics, that they don’t think about things like soft skills. But, here was a mother, who, apparently, wanted her young son to be ‘perfect’, the ‘best’. I tried to calm her down saying, “Ma’am, from what you said, I understand, that your son is a bright young boy. Trust me, he doesn’t need an...

  “We all see only  that which we are trained to see.” Robert Anton Wilson S hadab is a gentleman... a ‘gentle man’, I said. He is an educated man... I said an ‘educated’ man. Some years ago, when he and his wife came to live in the housing society, I was its Chairman. When he moved in, he had one daughter, Maham, who is now in her early teens. Just when Covid broke out, our family moved to a flat (owned by my brother-in-law) in a nearby society. Our own flat, meanwhile, is under lock and key. I am very fond of young kids. I want them to develop the reading habit. Hence, for many years, I have been gifting our books to several kids. Maham has been a beneficiary of these books. One of the many books I had gifted to Maham was titled ‘I am Good, The World is Good’. The  book had an apt baseline – ‘Jaisi Dhrishti, Waisi Shrishti’. The book was intended to sensitize young kids to develop an inclusive outlook towards the society... help them stay away from social and re...

  “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb   M y wife and I had attended the wedding reception of Chandini, who was my student, ten years ago. Her brother Suraj and their father Prakash – all had been my students, particularly that of the Personality Development programme conducted by The Dawn Club. Chandini’s three cousins, Kanchan, Shradha and Sneha, and even Kanchan’s son Kapil – all of them had been students of these programmes. Yesterday, at the reception, I had the privilege of meeting all of them and several more. I am talking about many students who crossed my path over past forty or so years. Almost all of them, are, now, well-placed in life. And, almost all of them tell me proudly, that they keep talking about me to their young children, who, now, go to the ‘finest schools’ around the world. Shradha, who lives in Netherlands, was so excited to see me, that she, oblivious of the guests around her, was a...

  “That fear of missing out on things makes you miss out on everything.” Etty Hellesum   T oday is 7 th Jan., exactly a week since the advent of new year 2026. In the evening, I received this message from my dear, old student, Rekha: “Good evening Sir, wishing you joy, prosperity and endless blessings in 2026. A Happy New Year to you and your family.” She added, “Sorry for the delayed response, Sir. Your new-year message, somehow, got lost in the mountain of messages!” I loved that imagery – ‘lost in the mountain of messages’... My reply went to Rekha, instantly: “HaHa... ‘Lost in the mountain of messages!’ Rekha, I found the title for my next Blog.” “All the best for your next Blog, Sir,” Rekha cheered. Rekha and Srikar were my students when they were doing their TY BCom. They were in love... Soon after graduating, they got married... and, they never forgot to invite me for their wedding reception... A few years later, their little girl Sharika was born, ...

  “It can’t be done for you; it must be done by you.” Frank Sonnenberg   I remembered, two days ago, this incident from the life of Jesus… One day, a very wealthy man approached Jesus and said: “Master, I have followed most of the   commandments of God; what else need I to do to enter the Kingdom of God?” Jesus told the wealthy man this: “Give away all your wealth, and follow me.” Obviously, the rich man got disheartened and walked away from Jesus. Jesus, then, looked at the crowd and said: “It’s as difficult for a rich man to walk into the Kingdom of God as it’s for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle.” Two days ago, I remembered this incident when a 25-year-old young man approached me asking, “Sir, I am graduate… I go daily to my family’s business outlet… I speak fairly well… and I live in a caring joint family… But, I lack self-confidence inside me… What else need I to do?” I had asked this young man to see me at 9 a.m., the day after. At 8.45 a...

  “The greatest gift you can give your child is not material possession; it’s the gift of discipline.” Unknown   I have been teaching teenaged students for decades. Broadly speaking, I get to see two kinds of parents of these young students of mine… The first kind - I would say, the majority - shield their young ones fiercely… They defend their young ones’ behaviour and actions, even when correction is required. These parents are touchy, overprotective about their young children. The second kind - I would say, the minority – don’t shield their young ones where correction is required. They are firm when it comes to discipline. For, they know the old truth: The best time to shape a tree is when it is a sapling… Once hardened, it is impossible to shape the tree. One of these mothers, who firmly believes in shaping her teenager before he gets ‘hardened’, has been very, very consistent in her approach… She knows her only son like the back of her hand. She knows when ...

“We’ve all got the light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” Sirius Black in Harry Potter    N o. Shyness doesn’t go. It’s something beautiful about you… Your essence, your core. For God’s sake, recognize it, accept it, respect it, and celebrate it… Yes, I tell this to hundreds of worried parents. “Has your own shyness gone?” I, often, ask them. “Had you been to a psychologist or a Personality Development centre to root it out?” When you try to root out your shyness, you root out your essence, your core… What you leave behind is a distorted you, not the authentic you. Well, all this may sound very fictional for the uninitiated. A couple of days ago, a young, married woman had come to see me. She wanted to be a corporate trainer on ‘wellness’. “I want to learn voice modulation and right diction,” she kept insisting… “You don’t need them, madam,” I kept reminding her, “What you need is the belief in you...

  “The conflict between the need to belong to a group and the need to be seen as unique and individual are the dominant struggle of adolescence.” Jeanne Eliam   W henever someone tells me, that the struggle and the challenges, which today’s adolescents have to face, are far graver than the ones faced by the earlier generations – yes, whenever someone tells me that, I reflect on my own adolescence and ask: Did I find my own struggles and challenges (of adolescence) less daunting than my son found his? The delicate, turbulent transition between puberty and adulthood is adolescence. Roughly, it’s the phase of a teenager’s life. Even though, for some, it may start early and last longer, no man or woman can escape this transition… I went though mine; my parents and forefathers went through theirs… and, our children and their children will have to go through theirs… Yes, some describe it as the ‘terrible time’… Lonely time… Confusing time… Time of ‘shutting the door’… ...