Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Usha Prasad N ot a single moment passes by without an urge in me to react: say something strongly to someone… That someone can be my own spouse, son, student, relative, friend, an associate, a neighbor, or, even, a stranger… There is this urge in me to say something strongly… An urge is a craving of my mind… a compulsion… an addiction… an instinctive habit… It is my weakness. Whenever I consciously abstain from saying what I want to say mechanically, instinctively… yes, whenever I use my discretion, better judgment, I can sense the feeling of self-confidence in my heart… I feel the power and strength… I feel I am in charge…  Yes, if just holding back a few strong comments, here and there, can give me that sense of well-being…  Then, imagine, if I can keep abstaining from reacting more and more and more! Like everyone else, I, too, know that all my thoughts and feelings need not be – and should not be – expressed. Similarly, all ...

At 12.30, last night, a message on WhatsApp broke my sleep. “Sir, is the morning batch at 9.15 or 9.30?” Karan, a student of mine, wanted to know. “9.15; don’t miss,” I replied and went off to sleep This morning, Karan appeared… but, it was 9.40! By then, others were half-way their solution… and, our Karan, groped in the dark for another twenty minutes… unable to guess what’s going on! Yes, it is the way Karan had been in my class, for all these months – irregular, late, casual. My angry outbursts were of no use… My irritation was supposed to be my problem… not Karan’s… Yes, my irritation did not irritate him… It had only irritated me more… So,   today, though I was tempted to shout at Karan, I chose to take a different route… I let him grope in the dark, while I went about my work… He was okay… I was okay… The class was okay… Peace. Did I do good to my student Karan or something bad? After e...