Gerald D'Cunha

“Even a mirror will not show you yourself if you do not wish to see.” Roger Zelazny   W hen I look back and try to trace the exact time when I started taking responsibility for my self-growth, I can see it clearly… It was when I started valuing myself. Till that time, I behaved as though someone else – my parents, teachers, God or my Fate – were responsible for my growth and success in life… Strange it may sound; but, it is true. Many of us simply grow in age; but, we stay mentally dwarf… The sooner we begin to minimize the dependency and take charge for our growth and success, the longer, stronger and wiser we grow in life… “It’s not about your studies;” I found myself drilling into my young students’ skulls, this morning, “it’s about how much you value yourselves.” Certainly, the point seemed to have been made… They were stunned by what they had just heard. But, then, I wasn’t sure, if they had grasped the meaning of those words… After all, every one of them had...

  “The person who cares about the problem owns the problem.” Henry Cloud & John Townsend   I f I had to describe, in one suitable phrase, my growing-up experience, it would be this: ‘Countless mistakes’! I am being honest! And, let me tell you this, with equal honesty: Many of those mistakes had come out of my poor self-image… I don’t remember holding a healthy self-image in my mind in my early years, particularly in my teenage years… It was very poor. It was only from my F. Y. B. Com days, I started dreaming about becoming a fine teacher and a writer – with that came a healthy self-image, and the desire to translate that image into a reality. Frankly, that’s all one has to do to ‘grow up’… Growing up, definitely, didn’t mean growing up into this 64-year self. I understand, today, that ‘Growing up means owning up’!   W ell, I just said that to a young student of mine a while ago. It was raining heavily this morning… Some of my students messaged me ...

O ur birth doesn’t make us ‘winners’ or ‘losers’ in life… Our choices do! When I was in high school, there were four divisions  - 'A' to 'D'. They put the scholars in ‘A’ and the duffers, like me, in ‘D’. One reason why they branded us as duffers was, because, we were the ‘vernaculars'. It was not a nice feeling to claim, that we belonged to the ‘D’ division! To me, the ‘D’ divisions have remained a metaphor, ever since… It’s the draconian rule that this world still follows… Branding us as ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. Yes, just as harsh as Draco, the famous rule-maker of Athens did! We really can’t change how people perceive us… Yes, about the localities we reside in, the schools we study in, the kind of houses and cars we own, the clothes we wear, the accent we use and, even the brands of the products we use… right from the sun glasses and shoes to the whiskey we drink… Yes, the winners and the losers, always, have made this...