Gerald D'Cunha

  “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin   T his morning, I met an old friend after several years. When he told me where he presently lived, I exclaimed, “Wow, that’s one of the most prominent locations.” “That’s what everyone says; but, not we who live there,” my friend said. The building, as I said, was located at one of the most expensive areas. The ground floor housed luxurious clothing and jewelry brands. Each floor had just one huge flat… Each flat owner possessed a matching car, as well… Then, why was my friend saying, “but, not we who live there”? My friend explained: “Ours may be a hot property and we may be owing flats worth several crores…   But, the irony is, that we can possess only one car even if we can afford to own more… To park our cars, to get them out and to get them in… it’s our daily challenge. Then, there is noise, dust, and endless honking… Visitors have to park their cars almost a mile away and come w...

  “To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself.” — Chinese Proverb   S ome things we understand late in our lives; and, often, we may not understand them at all. One such thing is our sensitivity towards our parents… Well, no matter how our parents raised us up, let us accept these bare facts: They were not trained in the art of raising children; they had watched their parents and, mostly, carried forward what they had watched; they –- whether we agree or not –- had done the best they could in their wisdom… and, this: even though we couldn’t choose our parents, we, by all means, could choose how to deal with our own parents as they aged, and how to deal with our own children as they grew… Having said that, let me add this, too: how our young children deal with us, well, we have no choice on that… Karma or dharma … well, I don’t know. Choices, yes, yes, yes… One, always, has. O n my way home, last evening, I met a parent. He wanted t...

“When the roots are deep, there is no need to fear the wind.” Chinese Proverb   A dear friend of mine holds an important position in a global company. He is currently posted in Vietnam. Yesterday, I received a call from him, saying, that he’s on a holiday in India (Mumbai) and wished to meet me. During the conversation, I learnt a great deal about the Chinese New Year – its long tradition and significance... How it’s celebrated, not only in Main China, but in various South Asian countries, and, even, in many other parts of the world. In every culture, there is this concept called ‘New Year’... and, the idea of ‘coming home’ to celebrate has been rooted deep in the psyche of these cultures. Our own (Catholic) Feast of Nativity (Sept 8, which is celebrated as Mother Mary’s birthday), Onam, Pongal, Yugadi, Vishu, Baisakhi, Chaath Puja – to mention a few – are the occasions to come home to celebrate the roots... My friend described to me how, during the Chinese New Year ce...

  “Values aren’t buses. They’re not supposed to get you anywhere... They’re supposed to define who you are.” Jennifer Crusie   I n his last episode of KBC, I saw Amitabh Bachchan calling on stage his loyal hair-stylist, Deepak Sawant, and speaking about him (Deepak Sawant) very emotionally. It was, most probably, Amitabh Bachchan’s last KBC episode. Considering his age (83), I don’t think, he might take up a high-pressure assignment like KBC anymore. But, who knows about tomorrow? During more than half-a-century of his career – from acting to hosting, from voiceovers, commercials to trying his hand in politics and business – I have seen, more than once, Amitabh ‘stepping aside’... calling it a day... only to reinvent himself – and make a triumphant come back! And, through it all, there was one man in his life who stood behind him, like his constant shadow – and, that man was Deepak Sawant... Yes, though thick and thin, as it’s said. In professional life, Loyalt...

  “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb   M y wife and I had attended the wedding reception of Chandini, who was my student, ten years ago. Her brother Suraj and their father Prakash – all had been my students, particularly that of the Personality Development programme conducted by The Dawn Club. Chandini’s three cousins, Kanchan, Shradha and Sneha, and even Kanchan’s son Kapil – all of them had been students of these programmes. Yesterday, at the reception, I had the privilege of meeting all of them and several more. I am talking about many students who crossed my path over past forty or so years. Almost all of them, are, now, well-placed in life. And, almost all of them tell me proudly, that they keep talking about me to their young children, who, now, go to the ‘finest schools’ around the world. Shradha, who lives in Netherlands, was so excited to see me, that she, oblivious of the guests around her, was a...

  “When you keep people waiting, they begin to think of all your flaws.” Kevin Kelly   M any years ago, just on the eve of one of my birthdays, a few of my die-hard well-wishers (all of them my ex-students) formed a WhatsApp group to send me birthday wishes. Expectedly, they baptized the group with the name – ‘HBD Gerry Sir’. The group has lived close to a dozen birthdays of mine, since then... One of the recent developments, as an offshoot of these group discussions, was a (turn-by-turn) get-to-gather at each group member’s place,   It started, some time back, with Shankar inviting us for a South Indian lunch at his beautiful complex. The next one was scheduled at Sudha’s Karjat holiday home. The dates somehow clashed and it got postponed. Meanwhile, Kiran and Ravi   invited all of us, along with our spouses and offsprings, to the North Indian (predominantly Delhi) delicacies at the popular restaurant at Andheri West – ‘Delhi Se’. ‘Delhi Se’ was born in ...

  “What a teacher is, is more important than what he teaches.” Karl Menninger   I was talking to one of my overseas ex-students, this morning. During the conversation, this dear old student, with all his good heart, was suggesting to me to expand my reach by doing this and doing that… a   dozen ideas he dished out in a few minutes. I humbly heard him out… Thanked him profusely… Then, I said to myself this: “I am presently burning with this idea… Let me only do ‘this’… and not ‘that’.” I have seen, from my experience, that to keep the flame of your own ideas burning is very, very important. People around you, particularly when they are not of any help to you, have ideas to offer… ‘Do this and do that’… No Sir, we should only do ‘this’… T oday is Teachers' Day… I have been receiving scores of messages… obviously, very generous, very kind words. But, as Life teaches us to value things and people only later in life, many of my students have sent their touching t...

  “ Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.” Garrison Kaillor   A s the international schools , IB and IGCSE (Cambridge) in particular, have the subject of Accountancy during their Grade 9 and 10, I get to teach some of these students, these days. Imagine, what traditionally the college students were learning, these 13-14-15-year-old kids have to learn now. Initially, I was reluctant to take up teaching commitments to these kids, assuming, that it’s too much for them and too early. But, the more I assumed so, the more and more parents began to approach me. “Sir, that’s how it is in these global schools,” I was repeatedly reminded. Thus, with a lot of caution and discretion, I started teaching some of these students during last couple of years… And, my experience? Well, wish to reserve my comment… The world is changing faster and faster… Along with it, let me say this: human ambition, too...