Gerald D'Cunha

  “The Universe is not short on wake-up calls; we are just quick to hit the snooze button.” Brene Brown   I s there a ‘perfect’ time to make amends in life? I think, no matter what, we make amends in life – call it course correction – only when the time to do so shows up. And, generally, when that time shows up, it does as a wake-up call… That’s why, wake-up calls in life are necessary to shake us up hard and wake us up to make changes. Brene Brown reminds us: “The Universe is not short on wake-up calls; we are just quick to hit the snooze button.” T wo days ago, a dear friend of mine was telling me how one of the wake-up calls shook him hard, one late night… This friend’s company had asked him to move to Canada to handle extensive volume of work covering various parts of the world. The job responsibility and the family responsibility, often, find themselves at loggerheads. Two school-going kids, wife and elderly parents in India – the house, car and educat...

“Arrogance is a creature. It does not have senses. It has only a sharp tongue and a pointing finger.” Toba Beta   T his morning, Rameeta*, who lives in New Delhi, called me up. “Gerry Sir, where have the teaching ideals gone?” she sounded quite upset. “What happened, Rameeta,” I prodded. “My daughter had enrolled to learn Kuchipudi dance under a well-known classical dance-teacher. Just eight sessions… Two of them got cancelled… When I checked with the teacher, if there would be compensatory sessions for the lost ones, she turned wild and gave me a mouthful… Even though, she was unreasonably arrogant and mean, I kept my calm for my daughter’s sake… But, I have been disturbed ever since… Thought I would share with you, just to feel a bit lighter.” Rameeta was my committed, hard-working and zestful student more than twenty-five years ago. She hailed from a very humble household; and despite the financial constraints, she and her brother both completed their Chartered Acc...

  “Let’s build bridges, not walls.” Martin Luther King Jr.   I came across this interesting dialogue while looking for appropriate quotes relating to self-care and assertiveness: “Not everything is about you,” Clary said furiously. “Possibly,"  Jace said, "but, you have to admit, that majority of things are.” (Cassandra Clare, City of Glass)   When we criticize others, are we aware, if we are criticizing the ‘person’ or his/her ‘actions’? I think, many times, we aren’t. Similarly, when someone criticizes us, are we aware, if it is our actions or we, as persons, that are being criticized? Again, I think, many times, we aren’t. It’s easy for us to say, “Hey, it’s not about you.” But, ‘something’, always, is… Isn’t it? That’s what drew my attention to in the dialogue shared above. While Clary, furiously, declares, “Not ‘everything’ is about you,” Jace reminds, ‘Something’ is… In fact, "‘majority of things’ are"! To me, the take away from th...

W hen God created Adam out of soil, He created only a statue. What made this Statue a ‘living creature’ was the ‘breath of Life’ that God blew into this otherwise lifeless piece of art… Breath of Life… Wow! The Holy Book says, that Man was created in the image of God! What is this ‘image of God’? Frankly, I do not know. But, if God gave man the freedom of choice – which includes the freedom to rebel against Him – He also gave man a conscience… that ‘shrill voice’ within us, which works just like a ‘lie detector’! If I come to know, deep inside, whether I am being honest or dishonest, to me, that is conscience. I do not need a theological or philosophical definition to understand it… God did a great job – rather a favour to His children: When He breathed Life into Adam… He put a conscience inside! So, to me, Death is not when our heart stops working… Death is when our conscience stops working… ‘Conscience is dead’... Don’t we say this, hear ...

“If I'm sincere today, what does it matter if I regret it tomorrow?” ―  José Saramago ,  Blindness D o we all die with some regrets? My answer to this question is – ‘Yes’, we all do. All? Yes, all. Now, many of us may not agree with my straight-forward answer… or may not like to hear it. But, as Steve Jobs said, every mistake in our life – or a wrong choice - is only a connecting dot… and, the beauty, here, is: none of us can connect these dots looking ahead… we can only connect these dots looking back! Yes, many of us, along the journey of our life, do look back with regrets… and, I believe, it is never too late to smile, be kind to ourselves and, thereby, heal even it means we have no time left to amend… The fact that we have now the grace and wisdom to look into the eye of our regrets… yes, this itself is our greatest victory… It can be the most liberating and peaceful experience of our life! A while ago, my frie...

Pic.: Uttam Ghosh “Even in the midst of the storm the sun is still shining.”   ―   Dayna Lovely I t is not easy for us to admit our mistakes. If we are public figures, it is even more so… very, very tough. That’s why, of all the character strengths, I have, always, held that this strength – the ability to accept one’s mistakes and to be ready to do amends – as the greatest one. Presently, a dear-old-friend of mine is going through a life-churning process. He is 50. When young, his sole aim had been to reach ‘the top’ in corporate world. So, consumed by this burning desire, he worked round the clock… ignoring what his young wife and little daughter really wanted from him. He worked hard, almost killing him… to give them the best material comforts - a great house, chauffeur-driven car, the best school for the daughter and goodies for his wife… Yes, he gave them everything except the emotional closeness when they badly needed it… And,...