Gerald D'Cunha

  “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” – Rumi   H ave the stories dried up? Come on… They can never be. There are a hundred stories unfolding before my eyes throughout my day… I want to tell them all in my daily posts. In fact, since I posted my last blog on June 15, so many wonderful things have happened in my life… So many things –- both wonderful and awful –- have happened in the outside world… The football world-cup had some underdog heroes… I started writing stories about them; but, gave up… The deadly earthquake in Venezuela deeply moved me… Tried writing something around it; then, gave up… My first blog book (of the ten-book series) was released at a grand function on June 21… My well-wishers shared images, videos and heaped praises; but, I didn’t post a single image or a word… It’s a mystery, quite frankly, as to what makes me write… A dear old student of mine (62), called some days ago… She was shattered… words wer...

  “I sit before flowers, 
 hoping they will train me in the art of opening up.” Shane Koyczan   T oday was the second session for this group of young kids. They come from underprivileged areas of our suburb. An NGO has been helping them through computer and AI skills. The same NGO has requested our Centre to help them in their soft skills… develop self-confidence, communication and interpersonal skills. I found one of the young girls a bit lost during the session. “ Beta , you are feeling ok?” I asked her. Then, to involve her in the proceedings, I nudged her gently to come up to the stage and tell something about her… To my surprise, the young girl did not get rattled. She stood there in front of about 20 of us (including her peers, two instructors and me). “You can speak in Hindi, if you wish,” I encouraged her, “Or, you can mix Hindi and English.” The girl chose to do it mixed… “Friends, my name is Muskaan… I have recently cleared my tenth standard, and I ...

  “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” Mandy Hale   W e do not have all the answers. Do we? Neither do we have a solution for every problem of people around us, nor do we have a solution for every problem of our own… Others seek help from us, we seek help from others… When I need medical help, I approach my doctors… When their young ones need help in studies or other developmental issues, doctors approach me… This is ‘world’… a place where I need you for something, and you need me for something… We are all inter-dependent, you see. A n old friend of mine – who is in his late forties – called me up last evening. He is a family man… His wife is a homemaker, and two kids are still in school… My friend has just lost his job. “Can I see you any time tomorrow?” My friend asked. We have agreed to meet in the afternoon, today… But, my friend knows, that I would not be able to f...

  “To attain knowledge, add things every day; to attain wisdom, remove things every day.” Lao Tzu   O ne of my friends, who has been a fine financial-consultant and quite a resourceful person, is now on a sabbatical. “What are you occupied with, these days?” I asked when I met him, yesterday… “Cutting vegetables and washing clothes,” he said without even blinking. “Seriously?” I asked him. “Yes, very seriously,” he asserted, “I am 63 now; and all my life, I hadn’t learnt how to cut vegetables or wash my own clothes… I feel very happy and relaxed as I do them now.” T here are so many things, as this friend of mine has found, you and I haven’t learnt/done, yes, ‘all our lives’. As another friend of mine, who is a bigshot in a corporate proudly claims, “I haven’t boiled even a glass or water”… and as another bigshot goes further and claims, “I haven’t learnt to turn on the gas stove.” So, what does this tell us? In life, we may be experts in some things and du...

  “The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” Mignon McLaughlin   T his morning, two of my well-wishers had come to see me. They love my writings, and they keep encouraging me to keep on writing. Both these women had lost their husbands to cancer, some years ago. Now, that’s behind them… Their children are working and busy with their lives. “Grief is behind me… I have dealt with it completely,” said one of them during the course of our discussion, “I am only worried about the future.” “Whose future? Your children’s?” I gently prodded. “Her own,” clarified the other woman, who knew her friend well. A good advice (to offer) comes to us instinctively in situations like this… “Don’t worry about your future; everything will be alright”… It’s a readymade advice, I am sure. “All of us have anxieties about our future; but, worrying over them is a sheer waste of time”… Again, it sounds familiar. The three of us there had anxie...

  “Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do; but, it doesn’t get you very far.” Jodi Picoult   I know, beyond a certain point, it is futile – even senile – to worry about the future. Still, like everyone else around me, anxiety about my future doesn’t spare me. At no stage in my life – of 65 years – there was an ‘anxiety- mukt ’ time… I had something to be anxious about in my teens and I have something to be anxious about in my mid-sixties… I worried abut many things while I was a bachelor, and I worry about so many things when I am a family man, now. Good health or bad health, no money or more money… let me tell you this: Life never seems free from worrying! Am I generalizing here? I believe, I am not. What we ‘know’ and what we ‘do’ – are different… I am quite sure about it. For example, I know, that living in the present moment is the key to reduce - and even get free from - our anxiety. I write about it in my blogs… and strongly encoura...

  “Remember the blue sky… It may be, at times, obscured by clouds; but, it is always there.” Andy Puddicombe   I was talking to a young college-girl, yesterday. “What are your main hobbies? What activities make you happy and peaceful?” I asked her. “Sir, it is crochet,” the girl said, “I find it very relaxing.” To this young girl, it is crochet; to me, it’s my writings; to someone out there, it may be swimming, exercising, singing, poetry, reading, or, simply, sky-gazing… Each one of us pursues some activity or the other as our hobby that makes us happy and peaceful… very relaxed, as the young girl said. Our days can be frantic… running and rushing, keeping us constantly anxious… A hundred emotions, when clash inside the mind, it can drive us crazy… Only, when we slow down… step aside from our rush, we can see things ahead clearly. Katherine King puts it beautifully: “Slow down… You will get there faster.” E very activity can be done with our mindfulne...

  “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” Kahlil Gibran   W hy do we call some things in our lives – ‘a pleasant surprise’? For these two obvious reasons: 1. It’s pleasant 2. It comes as a surprise. No matter how frantically you and I try to control our future, we simply cannot. We can only think about our future… plan for it, work for it and, even, pray for it. But, beyond that, we cannot do anything. Like many around me, I, too, have spent too many sleepless nights worrying over my future. But, what has happened in my life, yes, a large part of it had not been thought over or planned about. It has come as a pure surprise. Yes, mostly pleasant… Some, unpleasant. When I see this reality, I learn to let go of my need to control the outcome of my efforts. I learn to do my work with all my heart, with total focus and dedication. That done, I learn to simply trust the kind Universe to do the rest. Money, health,...

  “If you want to test your memory, try recalling what you were worrying about one year ago.” E. Joseph Crossman   T hose who know me only through my blogs and books, think that I am a calm and composed person, who they can seek advise from whenever they are anxious and worried in their lives. On the other hand, those who know me closely through my daily association with them – and not through my blogs or books – yes, they think, that I am a perpetually anxious and worried soul! They fondly call me ‘Worry D’Cunha’, instead of Gerry D’Cunha! And, yes, they seriously think, that I need to take things not so seriously and should do something about my ‘nerves’. Which means, seek help from some therapist! So, who is the real ‘Me’ – the one who is ‘sought’ or the one who ‘seeks’? Let me confess, all over again, and with all the humility in my heart: If I wasn’t an anxious and worried soul, I wouldn’t have written my daily blogs or any of my books… Anxiety and worryin...