Gerald D'Cunha

  “Lord, we don't need another mountain There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb There are oceans and rivers enough to cross Enough to last until the end of time.” From the song ‘What the world needs now’   by Dionne Warwick S ome days ago, I messaged to a young mother: “Ma’am, Noyonika (daughter) has to attend a workshop tomorrow from 4 to 6 pm. The topic of the work shop will be ‘Effective use of time.” Then, I added, “Ma’am, even you can join the workshop… You know, it’s a useful subject.” It's was 10.30 in the night when I sent this message. “Noyonika will attend the workshop, Sir. I won’t be able to attend as it would be a working day.”   She added, “Sir, I am still on my way home.” And, here at our home, we were set to go off to bed. I told my wife about the conversation I just had. A couple of days later, during the Public Speaking session, Noyomika was on stage. I told everyone about the conversation I had with her mother a few days earlier...

  “I do not ask the wounded person how he feels; I myself become the wounded person.” Walt Whitman   T his woman is a parent of my two students. They are twins and are in class 12. Her husband is a drunkard. He is chronically insecure and doesn’t go out to work, nor does he let his wife to go out and work. They live in a rented place in a chawl , from where she earns a small amount by taking tuitions for a few students. There have been constant fights at home, including physical abuse. Every day, the struggle is a new one... The need of money being the heaviest burden to carry... L ast morning, I received this message from the woman: “Good morning Sir. As my husband is at home, I am unable to call you. So, I am texting you. I have to pay you Rs. 2,500 towards kids’ PD classes. As you know, Sir, my financial situation is not good. I haven’t paid my rent and the landlord is putting pressure on me to vacate. I told my father, that I have to pay Rs.10,000 for kids’ f...

  “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” John Steinbeck   E mpathy, it is said, is not a noun, it’s a verb... It’s a word in action. As a teacher of college students, I tend to get impatient quickly... When students struggle to answer, yes, I tend to forget, that I, too, struggled to answer once; often, I was worse than how I find my students now... Ditto is the case when it comes to parenting. Do you and I expect too much and too fast – and too good – from our young children. And, how cooly we forget, that we didn’t live at all up to our parents’ expectations! And, yes, the same impatience is very, very visible at work place, even. When we be come bosses, we forget our days as beginners... Days as novice, filled with many mistakes... It’s often said, that employees don’t quit their companies; they quit their bad bosses – the ones who lack empathy, if I were to paraphrase that... W hen I migrated to Mumbai in October, 1979, I had carri...

  “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” John Bunyan   E ight days ago, (on August 20) Judge Frank Caprio passed away after a gritty battle with pancreatic cancer. He has been my inspiration as he was for millions of people around the world. Judge Caprio was just a judge in the Municipal Court of Providence, Rhode Island, in America, where he served for nearly four decades. Yes, his heart of gold – blessed with compassion, empathy and healing humour   - made him a household legend… He did it in his courtroom by dispensing justice to very ordinary people who appeared before him for some routine traffic violations like over speeding, wrong parking etc. I n this fast and furious, seemingly heartless world, most of us had never come across anything like this in a courtroom. So, when we saw the way Judge Frank Caprio communicated with people who presented themselves before him, it was hard for us to believe, th...

  “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” Mandy Hale   W e do not have all the answers. Do we? Neither do we have a solution for every problem of people around us, nor do we have a solution for every problem of our own… Others seek help from us, we seek help from others… When I need medical help, I approach my doctors… When their young ones need help in studies or other developmental issues, doctors approach me… This is ‘world’… a place where I need you for something, and you need me for something… We are all inter-dependent, you see. A n old friend of mine – who is in his late forties – called me up last evening. He is a family man… His wife is a homemaker, and two kids are still in school… My friend has just lost his job. “Can I see you any time tomorrow?” My friend asked. We have agreed to meet in the afternoon, today… But, my friend knows, that I would not be able to f...

  “If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.” Buddha   T o help someone who is needy, we need a heart that contains empathy. And such a heart, normally, wants to stay anonymous. The moment the heart feels the need to broadcast about the help just done, the help ceases to be a genuine act of giving. I know of this middle-aged man, who, always, pays the school/college fees of two/three needy students, every year. He has been doing it for years, and quietly. As Jesus said, this Good Samaritan gives with his right hand without his left hand coming to know about it… This morning, the gentleman reached out to two needy college students by paying their full year’s fees. Not a soul, other than he and me, came to know about it… Why do we do such quiet acts of kindness towards the needy? This man is an ordinary man with an extraordinary heart. He knows, that he cannot solve the poverty of this world… that he cannot reach out to each and every nee...

  “Privilege is the blindfold that keeps you from truly seeing the problems of others.” Unknown     O ne of my uncles (mom’s cousin), who is in his late-seventies, was born and brought up in Bombay. He has some inspiring stories relating to his mother (my maternal grandma’s sister). Due to polio, she had a crippled leg. Back then, the poverty in their village had compelled little children to migrate to this city and work as house helps in Fort area. She, eventually, got married and started living in a tiny room in one of those over-inhabited buildings. My uncle fondly narrates to us stories of his mother’s struggle during those days… how she ran a mess to serve hot meals for young bachelors from her village (Mangalore)… how she would provide shelter for many young, poor migrants from Mangalore… how, soon, she would help boys to find a better shelter in a community club, and girls in a hostel etc.… This seemed to be her life-mission. “My sisters and I were very small...

  “If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have less, give of your heart.” Anonymous   O n the New-year day, I had called to wish one of my elderly relatives. This woman had struggled hard all her life and given her children quite a cushioned life… In the process, she hadn’t kept anything for her old age or medical issues. For past few years, her health has been waning and making her fully dependent – financially as well as physically – on her married children. During my conversation with this woman, she mentioned about one of her nieces, who is in her mid-sixties. “Gerry, she had called me yesterday and told me, that she had been very sick and nobody was     helping her. I feel bad… Her dad had helped me when I was young and struggling… I want to help her financially. But, you know my situation… I can’t take any decision on my own… I am completely dependent on my children… I am scared to ask them to do anything in this respect.” I heard out my elde...