Gerald D'Cunha

  “You can give without loving; but, you cannot love without giving.” Amy Carmichael   K ahlil Gibran says, “ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It’s when you give of yourself, that you truly give.” I do not know, how to convey this truth to a young one who wants to know how to shine in life... “By giving, and by giving more and even more,” I say to every young one. Now, you can understand, why Gibran talks about ‘giving of yourself’ – and not ‘giving of your possessions’... The wealthiest man in this world may not know what giving is... and, as Amy Carmichael says, “You can give without loving; but, you cannot love without giving.” S ome days ago, a young man – a very creative, very gifted soul – wanted to know from me how to find true happiness in his life. Well, I knew, that happiness was not any destination; but, only a continuous journey... It’s along this journey, that one could hope to experience happiness. So, I said to the young man...

“We worry what a child will become tomorrow; yet, we forget that he is somebody today.” Stacia Tauscher   H is name is Namoh. They say, he is weak in studies, a slow learner, a tortoise. But, those who are very close to him – his parents and coaches – say, that he is strong in gymnastics... he is excellent, a Champ... So, the battle rages on: People like me, who coach Namoh in his academic subjects, often worry about his attendance... Every time I start a new chapter, Namoh has to proceed on a long-distance tour, often forcing him to miss his classes for weeks... We worry, saying that he is not good in any chapter... “How will he clear his 12 th Boards?” Yes, this is how the world wonders and worries unless it takes notice of the ‘good’ that resides in the young kid, right now... The world is a stereotype... I am no exception... Unless, the young kid is me... Stacia Tauscher’s words come to remind me: “We worry what a child will become tomorrow; yet, we forget t...

  “And when you kiss your little baby, you’ve kissed the face of God.” Mark Lowry A parna, who studied under me more than thirty years ago, is, now, a dear friend of mine. She is settled in Gurgaon. Blessed with a playful and funny bone, she kept updating us, on a regular basis, about each and every little thing – call it a micro milestone – as her only baby boy, Osher, kept growing… She called her cub – ‘Li’l Tiger’… and enthralled us with her entertaining posts on FB. For many years, it seemed as though the Li’l cub refused to grow. So, Aparna’s Jungle Book stories kept coming… I was very fond of them… Then, for some time, the stories disappeared on FB… I wondered whatever had happened to the Li’l Tiger? You see, the tiger cubs are incredibly cute and playful… How one wishes them to forever stay cubs! But, that remains only a wishful thought… The Tiger Cub does grow into a Shere Khan… Just as Aparna has grown into a tigress and her hubby has grown into a tiger… Jus...

  “You may give them your love, but not your thoughts; for, they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies, but not their souls; for, their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’   I t’s sacrilegious to compare our lives with our children’s lives. The two stories are as different as fact and fiction. If that is not convincing, they are as different as a day and a night. Recently, I had attended the wedding celebrations of my nephew, Kenneth. It’s a grand celebration… very cheesy, classy, and the one which would be talked about… As I was witnessing this dreamlike celebration, my mind travelled back in time... S ome thirty-two years ago, Kenneth’s dad (My late brother, Harry) tied knot to Dora, alongside me tying knot to Anima. It’s a joint wedding-celebration. Kenneth and Sharyl had hired a white Mercedes; we – Harry and Dora, me and Anima – had hired white Ambassadors…...

  “A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog… when you are   just as hungry as the dog.” Jack London   T he other day, I was telling three of my young nephews, how,   in my view, ‘sharing’ was one of the best ways to feel good about ourselves in life. I was telling them, that ‘feeling good about ourselves’, also, meant ‘feeling confident’ in life! What, in my view, ‘sharing’ means? Is there something with all of us, that we can share with others? Do we need to ‘possess’ something first, in order to ‘share’ with others? One of my nephews was of the firm belief, that we were able to share only when we possessed enough… I agreed with him, before I could convey what I had in my mind. S haring – call it ‘Giving’ or ‘Charity’ or ‘Empowering’ or ‘Reaching out’ or ‘Touching lives’ whatever, whatever, whatever – comes from the intangible state of our hearts, rather than the tangible state of our possessions. From this paradigm...

  “They come through you, but not from you; and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’   T here are some things we inherit from our fathers. If we wish to call them DNA or genes, let’s do. But, to blindly put it on our fathers is plain ignorance… It’s not fair! The saying, ‘Like father, like son’ – ‘As is the father, so is the son’ – has come from the Latin origin: “Qualis pater, talis filius”. But, I don’t think, that it is so either in Rome or anywhere else in the world! Between the father and the son, no doubt, there is blood connection. But, there is, also, that invisible, yet all-powerful, filter called ‘Our Choices’… Yes, just as the father made his own choices, the son makes his own. Period. My father was a born extrovert; I was a born touch-me-not! He, regaled strangers with his raw talent for singing (Konkani folksongs) at every available social venue; I desperately hid myself from everyone! He was an andhb...

  "we only have what we give.” Isabel Allende   N one of us is rich enough to eradicate the poverty in this world. The biggest Foundations and Charities in this world have been able to do only so much… Poverty, hunger, deprivation still run rampantly. Now, the Poverty shows up in differs avatars. There is poverty of mind, heart and soul, too. Lack of love is poverty… Loneliness is poverty… Lack of self-confidence is poverty… Distrust and envy are forms of poverty… Poor physical health is poverty. And, yes, lack of money – hunger and homelessness - is poverty. I have hardly done any financial charity. A few rupees which I may have given, now and then, are like casting   drops of water in a vast ocean. Putting it inversely, it’s like trying to empty the ocean – the ocean of poverty – with a teaspoon! It can be overwhelming! But, each one of us has been blessed with our own special wealth. We may be poor in terms of money; but, we may be wealthy in terms of oth...

  “Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For, only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ (First published in1923)   A dear friend of mine, after her marriage has been living in one of North Indian states for close to thirty years. She has two grown up daughters. Almost every member in the family is well-educated. They are financially well-off, as well. Three nights ago, I saw this message in my inbox sent by this friend: “Will marriage of a Hindu girl with a Christian boy be successful - if girl’s parents are not ready for it and don’t agree for inter-community marriage? They are least ready to support. A similar family-situation has come up for my niece. Wanted to get a realist opinion on this. Do major conflicts arise in inter-community marriages from your experience?” It’s sheer co-incidence, that this anxious message had come to me against the backdrop of Tanishq-ad controversy? When two young adults deci...

“You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts, You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”     -       Kahlil Gibran on Children W hen all this Boys’ and Girls’ Locker-room controversy is raging outside, when all and sundry are sitting on their judgement seats and handing out their verdicts on the ‘guilty’… I start wondering if there were ‘locker rooms’ while I was a young school boy… If dirty thoughts passed through my mind and if I and some of my friends chatted our private stuff. Horrible thoughts do pass through my mind even now… The locker room is still there, very much there. Am I alone here? Hope I am not… None of the so-called ‘dirty thoughts’ come in a young one from his parents and teachers. Mine did not come from my parents or teachers. So, let’s stop blaming abo...