Gerald D'Cunha

  “Your fate has not been written until you pick up a pen.” Dean Bokhari   O ne thing is very clear to me, and at 66. That, problems in Life - call them challenges – never end… Ever. Like many, I, too, wanted – and prayed hard for – my problems to end… Somewhere along these 66 years, it hit me like a bolt from the blue, that such a happy ending was confined to only fairytales… None of us, here on earth, are going to see a day when all our problems will cease to exist and we will go on to live for ever and ever happily… None. “Jab tak Jeevan hai, tab tak sangharsh hai.” Harivansh Rai Bachchan had drilled this plain truth into his illustrious son’s head. Paulo Coelho said, “Everything will be okay in the end; if it isn’t okay, it isn’t the end.” Read that again… Are we waiting for the time when everything is going to be okay? Because everything is still not okay in our lives – because problems still continue to surface – yes, it’s not the end, yet. That’s some...

  “There is always a door, no matter how dark the room is… Find it and get out.” Shafqat Bashar   W ho doesn’t have problems? There is a lot of truth and bluntness packed in this statement. Doesn’t it sound familiar? I must’ve used it to hundreds of people around me – particularly my students – whenever they tried to cite a problem or two to cover up their small lapses. “Don’t use your problems as your excuses,” was what I wanted to tell them, “Who doesn’t have problems?” On the other hand, dozens of people have used this statement to send across the same message to me… “Look, we all have our own problems in life.” T his year has been the year of problems. It has spared none of us… The employers and employees, the rich and the poor, the doctors and the patients, the hospitals, worship places, educational institutions, hotels and the transporters – all had, and still have, their own problems. I had mine…   the parents of my students had theirs… the maid, wh...

“Many think that assigning blame settles matters.” Mason Cooley A s a human race, we have been preloaded with this one unique trait: We all want, desperately, someone to place our blame on! I mean, the moment we face a problem, we instantaneously look for someone who is responsible for that problem… and, once we find one - there we go after him/her/them – all hammer and tongs! Whether we accept it or not, we strangely believe, that when we find who is responsible for our problems, our problems go… Like this Corona! Who is responsible for it, by the way? China… Muslims… Meat-eaters… Fake News, Godi Media… Presstitutes… Government… Opposition… Foreign nationals… Migrating labourers…   Nehru… Gandhi Family… Vadras… Dharavi… Yogi… Modi… Trump… Doctors, Nurses, Delivery Boys… Currency Notes ... Who? Just imagine this: how relieved the mind feels the moment we place the blame on one of these… and, vehemently remain convinced about...

“Listen. People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” – Cheryl Richardson “G ood Moring Sir. Thank you so much for all the emotional support you have given me each time… You have always given me the strength whenever I have felt low.” “Good Morning Disha*.   We all need support when we feel low… Nobody is an exception… I was just there, incidentally, as destiny would have it. Don’t become disheartened or bitter about any experiences along your way. Best wishes and love.” Late, the night before yesterday, Disha had called me seeking some help, and she had turned up, yesterday, early in the next morning, in my office to discuss her ‘problem’… What kind of emotional support Disha claims I have given her? What are the ‘Low feelings’ she was going through? The gravity of the problem is not the issue here. The issue is: we all go through problems in our daily life… the big problems and small problems; and, all of us are humans… we ...

“To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.”  - Eleanor Roosevelt W hat we reveal to the world about ourselves, dare I say, are not our true selves? And, did I say – “Dare I say?” Yes, I did. For, to reveal our true selves demands our true courage! “I need help”, “I have a problem”, “I do not know how to deal with this situation”… Yes, these admissions can come only from an earnest soul that yearns to save itself. I have experienced deep loneliness many a time. Many a time, I have woken up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat.   And, if I have survived those dark, lonely moments, it’s, certainly, not because I have been an ‘emotional macho’… But, it’s because, some ‘grace’ has come to my rescue… Let me tell you this: My problems may not be Himalayan in size. But, then, for each one of us, our respective problems are high, tough and scary enough to scale. Many of us f...

“God does not create a lock without its key; And, God does not give problems without solutions…Trust Him.” -           Anonymous O ne of my favourite stories comes from the teachings of Gautama Buddha. The story is popularly known as ‘Kisa Gotami and the Parable of the Mustard Seeds’. Kisa’s young son had died. She was heart-broken… Carrying the dead son in her arms, she went from one door to another, pleading people to bring her little boy to life. But, her efforts seemed futile. Finally, someone suggested her to seek Gautama’s help. Thus, she presented herself before the Buddha. “O Master, I am unable to bear this loss,” she cried, “Have mercy on me and bring my son back to life.” The Buddha agreed. He advised the distressed woman to go back to her village and gather a fistful of mustard seeds from any household which was not touched by death. “From those mustard seeds, I shall prepare a med...

“ Stop smiling. Every time you smile, an angel dies.”   ―   Kristan Higgins ,   My One and Only I do not know who Kristan Higgins is and what made her say this. Read it again and you may surely wonder, as I do now: Why should an angel die every time I smile? After all, smile is a very potent weapon… and, if at all it should kill, it should kill a devil… Why an angel? A certain problem was causing a great deal of stress in me. Just this morning, I found myself caught up in a negative thought-web and reacting with pain and anger. Some friends, who are my genuine well-wishers, were around me. An elderly gentleman, who always spreads cheer around him, caught my hand and said, “Are we going to have a Christmas party this time?” The load dropped around my heart, instantly, and I simply smiled… There was peace in my heart! “P eace begins with a smile,” Mother Teresa would say. The only way to dispel gloom is to gree...

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha “Sometimes I get so caught up in my own problems that I forget how amazing the world is.”   ―   Wendelin Van Draanen S ome days ago, my dear friend, Ashish, shared with me a beautiful story, which he had read on social media. In a distant land, there lived this man who was burdened by his problems… hundreds of them. So, one day, he travelled far to meet a well-known saint, with the hope of finding freedom from all his problems. Scores of people had already lined up to meet the holy man; and, by the time our man’s turn came up, it was night. The saint said, “Friend, I am very tired. However, as you have come from a faraway place, I suggest you spend your night here. I will attend to your problems tomorrow morning.” The saint, then, added this, “Do me a small favour, my friend. I have hundreds of camels here. Before you go to sleep, ensure that all my camels go to sleep.” The man agreed. In the morni...