Gerald D'Cunha

  “That fear of missing out on things makes you miss out on everything.” Etty Hellesum   T oday is 7 th Jan., exactly a week since the advent of new year 2026. In the evening, I received this message from my dear, old student, Rekha: “Good evening Sir, wishing you joy, prosperity and endless blessings in 2026. A Happy New Year to you and your family.” She added, “Sorry for the delayed response, Sir. Your new-year message, somehow, got lost in the mountain of messages!” I loved that imagery – ‘lost in the mountain of messages’... My reply went to Rekha, instantly: “HaHa... ‘Lost in the mountain of messages!’ Rekha, I found the title for my next Blog.” “All the best for your next Blog, Sir,” Rekha cheered. Rekha and Srikar were my students when they were doing their TY BCom. They were in love... Soon after graduating, they got married... and, they never forgot to invite me for their wedding reception... A few years later, their little girl Sharika was born, ...

  “Everybody is talented; \because, everybody who is human has something to express.” Brenda Ueland   T he quote above makes me reflect… “Everybody who is human has something to express.” Hence, it says, “Everybody is talented.” Now, is that really true? To think, that God hasn’t created any human without this incessant desire to ‘express is what ‘belief’ is all about… Yes, there is something special preloaded when God sends us into the world. He knows about it; but, very often, we don’t. And, to me, waking up to our special gifts preloaded by God – is our enlightenment… I did not know, that my special gift from God was to teach and write. But, I remember how restless I was to express myself in some form or the other. When I was a little boy, I found great joy in drawing and colouring… I remember spending hours trying to express something through this medium. But, soon, it died down… Sports, dancing, singing, acting – I never came anywhere close to these form...

  “Social media has become a self-esteem management tool  and everyone is building their brand. But, it’s not authentic; it’s hollow.” Emily Leary, blogger and Social Media consultant   I came across the above quote from Emily, a blogger like me (Correction: I am a blogger like her!)… but, unlike her, I am not a Social Media consultant… But, yes, what madam Emily says is one-hundred percent true… My relentless blogging finds its roots in my deep desire to manage my own self-esteem. I feel very, very good when I express in my daily blogs. But, does it end there? Mostly, it doesn’t. Invariably, the desire to promote myself – as a brand – takes over. No matter how much I deny it in public, there is this desire, this desperation to spread my wings, my reach – go viral, become a sensation… Yes, what counts, after some time - on being visible as a social media content creator - are pure numbers… subscribers, viewership, likes, comments, shares etc. But, that’s no...

      “And stand together yet not too near together: For, the pillars of the temple stand apart And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s company.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ I n his remarkable book, ‘The Prophet’, Kahlil Gibran’s famous lines might have been in response to the request – “Master, say something about Marriage”… Yes, it might have been used to emphasize on the need for ‘space’ in marital relationships… yet, in a larger context, ‘space’ is a universal thirst in every kind of relationship… You see, humans cannot grow in shade… They get suffocated, and die! In our summer programme on Personality Development, we, always, hold the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’ first. The reason: a healthy self-esteem is the foundation for the healthy development of one’s personality… During the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’, the facilitator (Swami Brahmavidananda Saraswati) helps the participants to reflect on the major parental messages that impact s...

  “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” Michel de Montaigne   A hundred things shape our self-esteem. Almost all of them do it when we are small, helpless. So, today, when I am 65, or when you are 15 or 80, each of us has come here affected by our childhood events… Many pleasant ones, many unpleasant… Many empowering ones, many damaging. Yes, there is this load of our baggage in each one of us… Needless to say, the pleasant and empowering things have manifested into our high self-esteem. The unpleasant and damaging ones have manifested into our low self-esteem. But, no one is free from this bondage – what happened to us in our childhood, when we were helpless. So, why I behave the way I do now, certainly, has its roots in what happened to me, and around me, when I was small… Why I am fun-loving or dead-serious, why I am an extrovert or an introvert, why trust comes easily to me or why it doesn’t come so easily, why I laugh like a ...

  “In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.”                                                               Aaron Rose               M y younger brother, Rony, is a gifted singer. He is very popular among the Mangalorean-Konkani music-lovers, both, here and abroad. He started singing on stage quite early. I remember him participating and winning singing competitions since his primary school-days. He kept participating in several competitions, winning most of them. Gradually, as a young singer, he joined popular bands and, also, started touring with well-known Konkani singing-legends. Recordings, too, became a regular part of his busy schedule… But, through all his hectic schedule, Rony largely depended on our Mom. She was his efficient manager, who would,...

  “If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must   believe we are worthy of love and belonging.” Brene Brown   “A t what age do you think our self-esteem begins to shape up?” I have heard this question in our every workshop on ‘Self-esteem’. Incidentally, the ‘Self-esteem’ workshop has been the very first workshop with which THE DAWN CLUB would begin its every summer programme for young kids for their ‘Personality Development’. And, for over three decades, it has been conducted by the same facilitator – Swami Brahmavidananda Saraswati (Shree Ram Mohan). The self-esteem is the foundation upon which the edifice called ‘Personality’ is raised. This explains as to why we have been commencing the two-month summer programme with a workshop on ‘Self-esteem’. As I mentioned, Swamiji would prompt the parents and students, both, with the question: “At what age do you think our self-esteem begins to shape up?” While the answers differ, many tell what Swami...

  “You may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches.” Unknown   T he thought that I am liked and admired by others   – the things that I do, like my teaching and writing, are liked and appreciated by them, yes, it is the nourishment for my healthy self-esteem. I do not think, that anyone in this world can truly feel efficient, happy and peaceful without being liked and appreciated by many – if not by all. I had to add that rider clause – ‘If not by all’! And, that’s the essence of today’s Post: “Hello, you may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches!” How reliving these words are! A lmost all of us have built the edifice of our self-esteem on this foundation - of being liked and appreciated by others. Where this foundation is weak, the edifice of self-esteem is weak as well. But, we just can’t expect everyone to press the ‘like button’. There will be some – significant or insignificant ...