Gerald D'Cunha

“Wanting more is just a recipe for heartache.” Stephen King   H ow much is really enough? Is there a point in life, you and I will stop chasing, pursuing, wanting more and more and more? Will we ever say in our lives, ‘Enough’? To describe this human dilemma in Jesus’ words, “It’s as difficult for us to do that as it’s for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle.” Wanting more is a universal disease – a pandemic -   of human soul… It’s never enough… Ever. Well, if you ask me, “Have you stopped wanting more?”… Yes, my answer to that question is – “Not yet, Sir.” I know how difficult it is for me to walk through the eye of this needle… Ye dil, always, maange more… and more and more ji! T his morning, I bumped into this young man, who was my student some years ago. He lives here in this vicinity in his parents’ one-room house. In fact, he was born and has lived here for all his 30-plus years. He said, that he has been working for a real estate enterprise whi...

  “Privilege is the blindfold that keeps you from truly seeing the problems of others.” Unknown     O ne of my uncles (mom’s cousin), who is in his late-seventies, was born and brought up in Bombay. He has some inspiring stories relating to his mother (my maternal grandma’s sister). Due to polio, she had a crippled leg. Back then, the poverty in their village had compelled little children to migrate to this city and work as house helps in Fort area. She, eventually, got married and started living in a tiny room in one of those over-inhabited buildings. My uncle fondly narrates to us stories of his mother’s struggle during those days… how she ran a mess to serve hot meals for young bachelors from her village (Mangalore)… how she would provide shelter for many young, poor migrants from Mangalore… how, soon, she would help boys to find a better shelter in a community club, and girls in a hostel etc.… This seemed to be her life-mission. “My sisters and I were very small...

  “Everything in life is speaking in spite of its apparent silence.” Hazrat Inayat Khan   T he Sufi teacher’s quote above reminds us, that God listens through only one language – silence… Yes, everything in life is speaking, in   spite of its apparent silence. Hebrew, Latin, Sanskrit, Arabic – and a thousand other languages - may help us to pray, chant or sing. But, to me, the language God connects the most is our profound silence… L ast weekend, my wife and I had attended a wedding at one of the resorts in Karjat. The couple, who were hosting their son’s wedding, belonged to Bori community. The guests belonged to varied communities… different religions, languages, food habits, customs and culture. What was impressive was the connect we all felt while we participated in this family’s happy occasion… What mattered the most was the quiet human thread that connected all of us. That night, we and our three other dear couples, stayed at another nearby farm house ...

  “When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be run over by nettles.” Horace Walpole   L ast evening, I was talking to the father of one of my eleventh-standard students. The gentleman and his wife, both, hold big positions in the respective companies they work for. My student is their only son. He goes to one of the best colleges in South Mumbai, and he goes for tuitions in his every subject. Apparently, the young man understands all subjects conceptually (including Accountancy, my subject). But, he lacks self-motivation… He doesn’t do any practice at home, comes late for his classes, misses classes regularly, and, for his every flaw, he offers a ready excuse… There is a reason why he does what he does – I mean, he keeps justifying his flaws… That’s what his parents and I are constantly worried about. He has aptitude, but no attitude. “How can we help the boy? How can we motivate him to take self-responsibility towards his studies?” So, when the...

  “Sweet sixteen today. She’s looking like her mamma a little more every day.” Bob Carlisle   I love to watch young kids - especially those sweet-sixteens - when they carry themselves in their special clothes, with grace, elegance and confidence. I don’t think, everyone can do that.   I may be   wrong when I say this, though… I can say about my own discomfort when I was a teenager. I felt desperately shy whenever I tried something new. A simple change, like tucking my shirt in… I remember feeling so awkward whenever I attempted that. Inside the house, I would try for hours doing my dress-rehearsal before the mirror; but, the moment I stepped outside my house, my shirt would come out, too! Trying a new style was a nightmare for me… “Everyone is watching me”… “Everyone is judging me”… “I don’t look good”… Yes, as a teenager, I have battled with these poor self-esteem issues… the ghosts of self-doubts. Today, when I will be 67 this year, trying a new atti...

          “ Why think of liberation at some future time? Liberation is in the little things, here and now.” B. K. S. Iyengar W ith every passing moment, and with every breath I take, I become more and more aware, that if I do not find my happiness here and now, I won’t be able to find it anywhere else, and at any other time… Happiness cannot be postponed… It fizzles out the moment we postpone for a future date. S ome years ago, when this young girl (one of my dear ex-students) got married, she really seemed the happiest. Her father, who owned a small grocery store in their vicinity, spent a bomb (a few crores) on his daughter’s wedding, just because the boy’s family wanted it that way, and, for some strange reasons, everyone on girls’ side thought, it’s all worth it. At hindsight, a small man going to this length, with the misplaced hope, that his daughter would be the happiest at her husband’s place – yes, at hindsight, such a thought sounds very na...

  “The beauty of an empty nest is the opportunity to cultivate a garden of self-growth” Unknown I was twenty when I left my home to find better prospects in Bombay. My mom must’ve just crossed forty and dad fifty. Of their five sons, the eldest, Franklin, had already left home, two years earlier, to be a sailor. They still had three more sons at home – Harry, Rony and Vivek. Harry left home to find work in Bombay, soon… In some years, Rony left home to find his new pastures in Kuwait, and so did the last son of my parents – Vivek. Very soon, he, too, came and settled here in Bombay… By then, Bombay had become Mumbai, and, with our dad gone to God’s home, our own home had become an empty nest… I remember, how my parents must’ve felt, when each of their sons left their nest. I remember, particularly, how my mother had felt when I was leaving… I was her favourite son. I was traveling from Mangalore to Bombay by a bus (first time). When I boarded the bus in Mangalore, she re...

  “By chance we meet; by choice we become friends.” Millie   T his morning, I saw a message from Naresh, a dear friend of mine. “Sir, Prem is in town. He will be leaving tonight. So, if possible, try to meet him today.” It was sometime in 1985-86. I was teaching T.Y. B. Com students in small batches all over our suburb. Charan (a girl), who was a T.Y. student of one of my Anushakti Nagar baches, had told about me to Naresh and his friend Prem… So, one evening, I saw these two extremely handsome, young men waiting to meet me after Charan’s batch was over. They came about exceptionally gentle, respectful and, as I said, handsome. But, what has stayed with me is the first image: Naresh and Prem showed up in identical clothes – black trousers and white shirts… Impeccably dressed… Four decades later, these two friends have remained inseparable… the best friends. Of course, they live in two different parts of India… do different kinds of businesses… wear no more identical ...

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” Brene Brown R ashi is 23-year-old. She has some health issues - some physical, some mental. She lost her father when she was writing her tenth-standard Board exams. But, she wrote, when asked to write about her strengths, “I can be emotionally strong.” In her short explanation, Rashi described, how, when her dad collapsed and died, everyone at home – her mother, brother, grandmother – broke down uncontrollably, she remained strong and   calmed down everyone around her. Similarly, Rashi wrote about what she was good at and loved to do the most – baking. “She makes excellent cakes,” says her mother with pride… Yet, Rashi’s mother is concerned about her 23-year-old daughter, because of the young one’s certain physical and mental health issues… “Sir, will she be able to communicate clearly and logically? Will she be independent, show self-motivation?”… Concerns like these. I have been helping Rashi for some days no...