Gerald D'Cunha

Our actions stem from our intentions. There are two kinds of intentions: good ones and bad ones. Now, how are we supposed to know whether our intentions are good ones or bad ones? I have a simple way to know that. If my intention is to deliberately cause harm, harass, malign or punish someone, then, my intention is bad. In the same way, if my intention is to please or help someone at the cost of my own well-being, that’s also a bad intention. Thus, when my intention is not to deliberately cause harm, harass, malign or punish someone, then, my intention is good. And, in the same way, when my intention is not to please or help someone at the cost of my own well-being, that’s also good intention. My own well-being, always, comes first. It is only when I care for myself enough that I am able to care enough for another human on this earth. Not, otherwise.  Our actions are always visible. But, our intentions, whi...

One of the most enigmatic - and misunderstood - words in our day-to-day vocabulary is ‘No’! It takes a good amount of healthy self-esteem in our hearts to say ‘No’ to someone with all our good intentions, and also to accept it from someone without feeling hurt or angry.  If our self-esteem is low, then, saying ‘No’ to someone can be a harrowing experience to us! We worry: “How can I say it, though I want to… He may feel hurt… He may misunderstand me… I may lose the friendship or relationship… I may sound too insensitive and blunt…” So, we struggle inside our minds; this causes more and more anxiety in the process… It makes us edgy and irritated. Finally, we end up saying ‘Yes’, when we really want to say ‘No’; and, this leaves our minds in more turmoil. Soon, we explode at the slightest provocation! In the same way, when our self-esteem is low, we find it equally difficult to accept ‘No’ from someone. “How could he say that?”... “How could he be...