Gerald D'Cunha

    “People’s minds are changed through observation, and not through arguments.” Will Rogers T he dictionary meaning of the term ‘Cesspool’ is this: ‘An underground resourviour for liquid waste such as household sewage.’ It further describes it as: ‘a filthy, evil or corrupt place or state’… And, how true that is! Well, which cesspool am I talking about here, today? The figurative one… The toxic arguments, let me be precise. Like most around me, I, too, am aware of that impulsive need in me to argue with others, including my loved ones… often fiercely, with what they call - ‘teeth and nails’… Colourful way of describing the way most of us choose to argue and try to ‘win’, right? I have done that too many times… Only to end up feeling terribly bad, later. Because, when we argue with our teeth and nails, we resort to verbal violence… Invariably, it leaves our soul bruised and wounded. And, imagine, when we do that with our loved ones! So, these days, when...

“If you fuel your journey on the opinions of others, you are going to run out of gas.” Steve Maraboli   A couple of days ago, a friend of mine messaged me saying, that she had just watched the Hindi film ‘Bawaal’ (on Amazon Prime Video) and thoroughly loved it. “Do watch it,” she had strongly suggested. Last night, my wife and I watched this film and, yes, both of us thoroughly loved it, too… And, just as my friend did, we, too, have started recommending this film to some of our friends... Incidentally, my wife and I had not kept ourselves informed about this film… Neither had we watched its trailer, promos or any reviews. We just watched this film on the recommendation of our dear friend, and happened to love it. Today, I watched some reviews of ‘Bawaal’ and read the comments below those reviews, more out of curiosity… I was surprised at the range of opinions – from unabashed praise to outright rebuke. What amused me the most was how people loved to comment on the...

  “Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.” Margaret Peters   I n Life, we really can’t have it all… Many of us have tried, or are still trying, to have it all. But, in Life, to get something, we have to give up something… That’s called ‘trade-off’. In other words, nothing comes to us without sacrificing something. Many a time, the sacrifice may prove costly, and what we ‘get’ through the trade-off may not seem worth it. Yes, Time and Life teach us this important lesson. T he night before last, my wife and I watched the film (a 2020-OTT release) on late ‘Shakuntala Devi’, the legendary mathematician, who was hailed as the ‘Human Computer’. The film is written and directed by Anu Menon, and Vidya Balan plays the genius mathematician. It’s an amazing film. In fact, my wife and I (We believe, we are not alone in this) were left speechless to see the ‘Human side’ of the story of this ‘Human Computer’ - Shakuntala Devi. As I said at the outset, in ...

  “Don’t use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word would do.” Mark Twain   O ne of the advantages of being with young college-students – and also having a young son and daughter-in-law around – is, that I get to know many English words and expressions which are in vogue. I will not call them as some great vocabulary, but something that makes one feel like belonging to today’s world. Whether that word makes any sense or not is not at all important. Important thing seems to be this: Sound modern! Chalo , one such word, which I have stated ‘receiving’ from young lot is - ‘Heads-up’! I did not know at all what this word meant till quite recent days. Obviously, I first heard it from my son and some of my students… “I am giving you heads-up”… I slowly realized, that it meant: “I am telling you/informing you/warning you in advance.” Giving an advance notice, that is. For instance, while leaving for work in a hurry, this morning, my dear wife said calmly, “I have to ...

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” Bette Midler A while ago, a middle-aged man had come to meet me. He wanted some help, in one of the subjects, for his college-going daughter. I knew this man’s family… Parents were no more. He had two younger brothers. When I enquired about them, this man became very emotional… He narrated to me, in detail, how relationship between him and his two younger brothers had gone sour over the years. They lived in a small chawl, barely of ten-by-twenty size. He described to me as to how his two brothers had succeeded to bifurcate that place into three parts, and how the conflict had been erupting over everything – water-connection, electricity, property-tax, kitchen and, movement of people. “They have, even, poisoned the minds of their little children,” the man said, “Little ones are not allowed to come over to our side or talk to any of us.” Last time I had met this man, he had told me about a small shop (j...

  “Someone is sitting in the shade today, because someone planted a tree long time ago.” Warren Buffet   I have used the above statement by Warren Buffet several times, before, in my blogs. The obvious reference, most of us tend to derive, is, that the Investment Genius is referring to money - wealth, savings and investments. May be, that’s correct. But, every time, I have used it in my blogs, my own reference point has kept changing. Undoubtedly, money and wealth, when invested wisely with a foresight,   grow like giant trees and end up providing shade – besides fruits and manure – to generations to come. So, if we assume, that Mr. Warren Buffet was encouraging us to raise money-plants, our assumption wont’ be wrong… After all, money doesn’t grow on trees. But, it does grow like trees! The shade is the comfort each generation has been provided with by the generations before. I have seen by father’s   father… He almost lived like a tribal man… I am neith...

  “Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness.” Rumi   I t’s tough to please everyone. In fact, when we recognize the tendency in us to please everyone around us – with the hope of making them happy – we, often, sense the stress in us. It’s an unnecessary weight – self-inflicted. In this Post, let me confine myself to that innate need in us to do good to people around us. Sounds familiar? We are humans… social beings. We have our near and dear ones. So, we tend to stretch ourselves – go beyond our bounds – to help others, do good to others… And, I do not have to say this: that’s what we are expected to do in our relationships… Here comes the hard question: Are we, also, ‘expected to expect’ appreciation and gratitude from those who we reach out? Do we expect these from them? A t this moment, if my heart is feeling sad, hurt or let down, perhaps, I have been silent...

  “Our patience will achieve more than our force.” Edmund Burke   I know where – and with whom – I lose my patience the most - One: My loved ones Two: My subordinates. It should not be so, right? For example, with our loved ones – such as our spouses, children, parents – we should be more patient as they are the most significant people in our lives. We love and care for them the most; hence, we should show more patience towards them in our interactions… That’s how it should be, logically speaking. Similarly, with our subordinates – employees, domestic servants, security, house-keeping staff, students, patients etc. – we should be more patient as they need our support, care and protection… It seems logical, too. But, ironically, with these very people, we show our irritation easily… We do not hide it – we show it instantly! So, every time I lose my patience and show my irritation – and speak with my temper - I know why I am doing it: because, they are the ‘soft...

                                                     “Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin Dance me through the panic ‘til I’m gathered safely in” (From the song ‘Dance Me to the End of Love’ by Leonard Cohen)    T wo days ago, I saw some beautiful pictures shared by a friend of mine on FB. She was sharing with us the joyful moment of her son’s wedding. Like everyone else did, I, too, sent my greetings: “Congratulations! May the young couple grow closer and closer in love and stay blessed in married life.” On the same day, it was time to wish a very dear overseas-couple in our family. It was their 21 st wedding anniversary. I sent this song: “Many, many more years of ‘ Aur Ahista’ to both of you,” I wrote. What did I mean by ‘Many more years of ‘Aur Ahista’ ? O ne of the most painful things in a married life is to...

  “The more I live, the more I think that humour is the saving sense.” Jacob A. Riis S ome twenty-three years now, since I watched the movie, ‘Life is Beautiful’. If you haven’t watched it yet, I strongly urge you to do. Let me spoil some of your movie-watching experience, by telling you the key plot… I am doing it to tell you this: Life, often, may seem extremely unpredictable and tough. But, if we can learn to laugh at our Fate, yes, Life can be beautiful… J ews in Europe just happened to be there when Hitler’s Nazi decided to wipe them (Jews) out from the land. If you and I were Jews, and happened to be there, then, we would have met with the same cruel Fate at Nazis’ hands… The family of Guido, his wife Dora and their little son Giosue just happened to be there… Dora was not a Jew. She was almost abducted by Guido from her would-be groom, because he was madly in love with her. When Nazi soldiers came to grab the family, Dora could have saved herself by revealing that sh...