Gerald D'Cunha

“You never appreciate your anonymity until you don’t have it anymore.” Jason Priestley   I am conscious of the two movements within me… One is a strong desire to be in the limelight – to be more and more famous, recognized, hailed. The other is an equally strong desire to be away from the limelight – to be anonymous, private and quiet… I think, it’s a strange irony in our lives: When we are away from these big cities, we desire to be here. When we are here, we desire to be away from these cities… Poor want to be rich – famous and powerful. When they reach there - and if they are in touch with the two internal movements I just spoke about – I am sure, they, most certainly, desire to go back to their quiet life… Of course, not to go back to the financial poverty, but to go back to the richness of their spirit… O ne of the things, my wife and I regularly do is walk along the beautiful Marine Drive promenade, mostly in the evenings… It’s packed with tens and thousands of pe...

  “Eating together is an act of mutual vulnerability and surrender.” Barbara Brown Taylor   M other Mary’s birthday is celebrated as Nativity feast by the Catholics. In Konkani, we would call it ‘Monthy Fest’. For Catholic   families, in and around Mangalore, it was a big festival, and we celebrate it on every Sept 8. The most important part of the celebration, for every household, has, always, been eating together the feast meal, known as ‘Novem’… While growing up, we had no dining tables. So, we had to sit together on the floor and a fare of half-a-dozen veggies, rice, paysam and the new grains of rice ground into coconut milk was savoured with prayers. Our grandpa (dad’s dad), always, choked while saying the prayers, remembering the family members who were away from home… and, it’s for my mom to continue with it! The banana leaf had so many items of vegetarian fare, which, as children, we never appreciated… I remember eating it half-heartedly. Our mom’s at...

  “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” Corrie Ten Boom   I t’s a herculean task for teachers to expect a decent attendance in Mumbai schools and colleges during the Ganeshotsav … Almost every household and every housing colony – plush   or humble – there is Ganesh celebration. Thus, the Maharashtra Government has decided to keep the state-run schools and colleges shut for a major portion of this festive season… Young kids are hyperactive in the pandals … Parents, too – with a dozen things planned… So, teachers like me have learnt to go easy on the attendance… “Chalo , how many days do you want me to keep the classes closed?” For five days or for eleven – whatever is asked, granted. “But, then, at least, do some homework… even one simple sum.” I plead them… Today, my students had come – some online, some offline – after a break of six days. Only a couple of them had done their homework… and others had turned up not only without their homework...

  “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Maya Angelou   S ome days ago, I was telling a group of underprivileged children how our random acts of kindness had ripple effect… “Kindness, always, spreads… It is contagious,” I explained to them in Hindi. Then, I encouraged them to share one or two acts of kindness either they had done towards others, or others had done towards them. Many stood up to share… Our random acts of kindness, invariably, are not only done by us randomly, but also done by us towards random people. Often, they are done towards people who do not even deserve our kindness. I know, it is difficult to accommodate that view: “Why should we be kind to someone who doesn’t deserve our kindness?” “A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve,” says Joseph Joubert. Mother Teresa famously said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Well, we aren’t talking, here, about the ‘big acts’ of kindness – the Mother Teresa’s...

  “And when you kiss your little baby, you’ve kissed the face of God.” Mark Lowry A parna, who studied under me more than thirty years ago, is, now, a dear friend of mine. She is settled in Gurgaon. Blessed with a playful and funny bone, she kept updating us, on a regular basis, about each and every little thing – call it a micro milestone – as her only baby boy, Osher, kept growing… She called her cub – ‘Li’l Tiger’… and enthralled us with her entertaining posts on FB. For many years, it seemed as though the Li’l cub refused to grow. So, Aparna’s Jungle Book stories kept coming… I was very fond of them… Then, for some time, the stories disappeared on FB… I wondered whatever had happened to the Li’l Tiger? You see, the tiger cubs are incredibly cute and playful… How one wishes them to forever stay cubs! But, that remains only a wishful thought… The Tiger Cub does grow into a Shere Khan… Just as Aparna has grown into a tigress and her hubby has grown into a tiger… Jus...

  “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Ralph Waldo Emerson   I n the village I grew up (in Mangalore), Ganesh Chaturthi was known as ‘Chauthi’ . Our house was surrounded by many families of different faiths. Days were simple and innocent – trust in each other was pure. I remember, on every important Hindu festival like Chauthi, Krishna Ashtami or Deepavali, our Hindu neighbours would send us their delicacies, and on Christmas, Easter and Nativity Feast (Mother Mary’s birthday), our family would do the same… This tradition was started by my grandparents, continued by my parents and, today, the family of my eldest brother and his wife (who live there) still follow it… There is great pride and simple joy concealed in this act… The flowers from our courtyard had, always, reached Hindu households to adorn Lord Ganesha, Lord Krishna and Lord Rama… Our GSB neighbours, year after year, immersed their Ganpathi idol in our well… “Our well wat...

  “Share our similarities, celebrate our difference.” M. Scott Peck   T his morning, I was talking to one of my friends. During the course of our discussion, I praised his young son… “His work is brilliant, absolutely creative and unique,” I said, “I look forward to see his new work posted on FB.” My friend’s son, as I said, is a creative young man. Who works for a automobile-design company where he is given a free hand to express himself. So, each of his new work he regularly shares on FB with his friends, which is highly appreciated. “My son is gifted, very creative and brilliant, no doubt,” my friend said in response to my compliment, “But, he is too sincere and trusting not only at his work place but also everywhere else. Therefore, he doesn’t get the due recognition and, often, people take undue advantage of his gentleness.” For a while, I thought, that my friend was talking about me… “You are too gentle, sincere and trusting in a rough and tough world… They t...

      “And stand together yet not too near together: For, the pillars of the temple stand apart And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s company.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ I n his remarkable book, ‘The Prophet’, Kahlil Gibran’s famous lines might have been in response to the request – “Master, say something about Marriage”… Yes, it might have been used to emphasize on the need for ‘space’ in marital relationships… yet, in a larger context, ‘space’ is a universal thirst in every kind of relationship… You see, humans cannot grow in shade… They get suffocated, and die! In our summer programme on Personality Development, we, always, hold the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’ first. The reason: a healthy self-esteem is the foundation for the healthy development of one’s personality… During the Workshop on ‘Self-esteem’, the facilitator (Swami Brahmavidananda Saraswati) helps the participants to reflect on the major parental messages that impact s...