Gerald D'Cunha

O ne reason why, today, many young boys and girls are unable to decide what they want to do in life is, that they do not spend enough time in quiet places… and seek an answer to that question.   And, there cannot be a quieter place than the lap of Nature! I was lucky to find this place quite early in my life. When I landed in Mumbai, four decades ago, I was living in my uncle’s place. Theirs was a simple household, just hand-to-mouth. I had no job and I needed money to survive… That was the reality. The thought, that I should not become a burden on them, always kept me on my feet.   Still, I did not want to do ‘any job’ that came my way just to survive. I had this dream constantly calling me - to be a teacher, which, at that time, seemed like a ‘fantasy’, an unrealistic and impractical ideal. I was a newcomer in this big city and I did not know anyone except for a few relatives of mine.   I had found, on the streets of Mumbai, an old copy of Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M y earliest memories of watching Imran Khan was sometime in 1980. I had just come to Mumbai from Mangalore. It was, also, the first time I was watching something on TV. Back home, in Mangalore, TV. hadn’t still arrived. Here, at a cousin’s house, there was a B & W TV, and, one day, while a cricket match (India-Pakistan) was being relayed, I happened to see Imran Khan for the first time on TV… He was so dashing, so full of allure, that I asked my cousin “What’s his name?” “He is Imran Khan,” my cousin said, “Girls go crazy over him!” Well, ever since then, even though, like all Indians, I, too, rooted for Indian team, as a player, I just went crazy over Imran Khan… Though I was not a ‘girl’! Yes, Imran K

“T hank you Sir for sharing with us your inspiring journey… a journey from being worthless to worthwhile.” This’s what the lady lecturer said in her vote of thanks. It was a week ago, and I had just concluded a session for the BMS students on ‘Self-confidence and Communication Skills’. It was a reputed college in Mumbai. I suffered from a chronic inferiority complex when I was a High School and a Junior College boy. I was so self-conscious about myself and so anxious about my future, that I had slowly stopped facing public… “Everybody is watching me”… “Everybody is judging me, analyzing me, rating me”… This was how I imagined and tortured myself. People would not accept me with my limitations and flaws… I had nothing worthwhile within me… I was good in nothing… Looks were ugly… Family was poor… English was pathetic… No sports, no singing and dancing, no good in studies… And, you could add a dozen more ‘No-goods’ to this irrational and fictitious list! How on ear

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.”  ―  Brené Brown W hat comes from our care and concern and what comes from our insensitivity and hatred? What comes from our faith and buoyant spirit and what comes from our fear and insecurities? What comes from our patience, tolerance and forgiving spirit and what comes from our impatience, intolerance and mercilessness? Well, others may not come to know as to where they come from (in us)… But, we do. Agreed: We come to know only in our ‘awareness’… when our hearts are not clouded with prejudice. One of the most reassuring truths about Life is, that the world we live in and people we live with are all ‘imperfect’. The world includes ‘me’. Hence, the truth starts from me: I am imperfect. Still, I tend to forget this reality and expect people around me to behave the way I expect them to. Do I behave, always, the w

“And if they found a fountain of youth, I wouldn't drink a drop and that's the truth. Funny how it feels I'm just getting  to my best years yet… The older I get.” -          From the song ‘The Older I Get’ by Alan Jackson M any years ago, Melvin, my brother-in-law, who lives in America, had sent me a music CD. He knew my taste, and had sent Alan Jackson’s most popular country songs. I would listen to these songs so often, some songs over and over again. I was in my late forties, then… and felt full of life. Alan Jackson’s songs were about life… They would help me remain a lot grounded in life. There was this particular song – ‘The Older I Get’. Probably, I must’ve played and hummed along it a thousand times. Strangely, I do not remember becoming strikingly aware of its lyrics. I would simply love this song… and listen to it and hum along, over and over again…. It would help me calm down, be peaceful… Then, w

“How you treat yourself is how you are inviting the world to treat you.” -           Anonymous S ome days ago, I was holding a training session in a reputed college in Mumbai. There were about 80 participants, all of them from S.Y. BMS. The subject was: ‘Self-confidence and Communication Skills.’ As I always do, I had shared with the young ones my own story. The reason why I do it is because, If I am expected to guide the in that area, then I need to tell them how I did it for myself… Was I self-confident and good in communication when I was their age or was I struggling with the same issues? If I have overcome my problems, then, there must be a road-map… I, always, share that with young kids, wherever and whenever I hold the programme on this subject. During the Q & A time, a young boy had a question. “Sir, I could really relate to your story,” he said, “I, too, was innocent and carefree when I was small… I never wasn’t sel

A young and qualified friend of mine has been the Secretary of his housing society for over a decade. He is one of the most sensible, practical and intelligent persons I have met in my life. Theirs is a very old – nearly fifty-year old – society, which is now in a dilapidated condition. BMC has warned them either to go for major repairs immediately, or to go for redevelopment. The members, who had originally bought the flats in this society, are either dead-and-gone or are alive in a dilapidated state of health themselves. My friend along with the Managing Committees of his society and the vast majority of the members want a redevelopment of the buildings. The frantic efforts have been going on for over a decade… Countless meetings, endless discussion, the best persuasion, trust and distrust, hope and despair… the greed, the groupism, the conspiracies… They had almost succeeded in their efforts, with nine out of ten things done regarding redevelopment…  But, alas, the hu