Gerald D'Cunha

  “Some things are better than winning.” Claire Annette Noland   I enjoy watching important matches, including cricket. So, I did watch the last few overs of India Vs. England ODI-series decider. My 28-year-old son and 85-year-old father-in-law, who are greater cricket enthusiasts than I am, had watched almost the full match… It was truly a tough match, well-played by both the sides. There was heavy suspense till the last ball. And, finally, as is the case in every well-played game, the team which manages to hold the nerves better, walks away with the trophy… Indian boys did! But, certainly, the England boys – particularly Sam Curran – deserved praise for their fighting spirit… They went down gloriously, like heroes! I am not writing this Post to add my own expert-commentary to yesterday’s game. My knowledge, and update about all sports are very limited. But, I am, always, moved by some subtle things while watching sports… Some little gestures by the players, captains, c

“If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?” Unknown   M y friend, and a fellow-learner in our Tai Chi group, Venkat, had shared this gem, one Monday morning: ‘Written on the board of a cemetery: “A LOT OF THE FELLOWS HERE BELIEVED,  THAT THE WORLD, OR SOME PART OF THE WORLD,  COULDN’T RUN WITHOUT THEM.”     This friend of mine is in his mid-forties. Apparently, he and his wife had made a conscious decision, early during their married life, that they would stop working before they were forty… Would have reasonable amount of savings… No children to raise… A few simple (crumpled but clean) clothes to wear, and, above all, backpack to every remote corner of our country and some neighbouring ones. So, they have been, literally, living their lives without any baggage…   (My friends Venkat and Priya presently backpacking at Kumta-Belekhan-Gokarna trek.) Well, to most of us, such a life seems either an ideal or outright idiotic. So, while you and I are st

  “All of them had a restlessness in common.” John Steinbeck   I n the midst of my ‘restlessness’, suddenly, I found myself writing these down:   Trying to please others… Trying to change others… Trying to prove something to others… Trying to cope with others… Trying to find security in life… Trying to seek approval from others… Trying to make others happy… Trying to explain something to someone… Trying to be perfect in everything… Trying to look smarter, better, wiser than others… Trying to hold on to my beliefs and possessions… Trying to control everything… Trying to fulfill my dreams through my children… Trying to depend on others for my happiness or security… Trying to eradicate fear, envy, anger, hatred from my life… Trying to be guilt-free Trying to be stress-free… Trying to be worry-free… I am not done with it, yet… I think, restlessness comes in me when my energy gets drained. ‘Trying’ is not just another word… It’s a very, ver

    “Honesty is as rare as a man without self-pity.” Stephen Vincent Benet   W hose life is free from problems? Sometimes, I ask this question to others when I find them complain about some problems in life. And, sometimes, I find myself questioned by others when I complain about my own.   What I am trying to say is this: Nobody’s life is free from problems… And, nobody is fully free from complaining about problems in life! So, let us not pretend, that we do not complain about our respective problems in life… There ‘are’ problems in life, and, we ‘do’ complain about them! Perhaps, some of us complain more, while some of us complain less. It’s important, therefore, to examine to which category we belong – chronic or mild! “It’s alright to sit on your pity pot every now and again,” says Debbie Macomber, “Just be sure to flush when you are finished.”   A while ago, when a young girl was complaining about her own problems, I found myself telling her the same thing, wh

  “Stop pushing so hard on the door looking for happiness… It opens inward.” Unknown   N ot many years ago, the wedding videos used to run into hours. Now, they don’t even run into a few minutes. But, the cost of making these 2-minutes-long wedding- videos is phenomenally higher than making those hours-long wedding-videos of yesteryear… Not that there has been inflation in cost; but, there is an unbelievable deflation   in our attitude towards happiness in life… So, each wedding video that we come across gives us the same high as watching a well-crafted movie – Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood, Tollywood or even Bhojpuri… It’s all the same. Made to create an impact… But, then, a wedding is a day, an event… Marriage is a long, long journey together. A lifetime! Thus, every time, I watch a surreal wedding-video, that exports us to a fantasy land, I reflect on my own three-decades-long marital journey… I ask: Has it been so perfect and glossy as it is made to look in these vide

  “Ninety percent of people who lose weight, gain it back. It’s very sad!” Richard Simmons   T his Post is not on ‘How to Lose Weight’. I am still reading many, many Posts on this subject, and, still wondering how to dissolve some of my belly fat… Eat sensibly. Exercise moderately. Walk regularly. And, above all, be cheerful… The last bit should be placed first… I seriously think so. Cheerfulness is an antidote to anxiety and worry. Anxiety and worry add their own weight. They make the mind tensed…   So, in a tensed state of mind, we cannot expect to develop a light-weight body. Therefore, every crash diet, or aggressive exercise regimen, without accompanied by a cheerful state of mind, are only going to bring back our lost weight… A couple of days ago, I met this 44-year-old gentleman. He had put on quiet a load around his belly. “What is this?” I asked him, but rubbing my own belly! “It’s the weight of my worries,” the gentleman said concealing the bitter truth b

  “If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.” Jon Stewart H uman mind is wired to take sides! Confused? Imagine you come across a game on TV, social media or even at a local playground… You know nothing about the teams or players… Totally strangers… But, as you keep watching the game, watch you mind, as well… Are you rooting for one of the teams? Can you remain totally neutral? Similarly, imagine this: you are watching two people fighting along the road… Why? Even two bulls, dogs, goats, cats are fighting as you walk by… Is there a favourite out there? And, imagine this: you and I are watching on TV or social media so much of ‘fighting’ – mostly political – and allow ourselves to be affected by what we watch… what happens to our thinking? I don’t know about you. But, whenever I get drawn into this cesspool, I end up getting depressed – irritated, angry and very, very touchy and reactive. The worst part of this is: I am ready to spoil my close relationships for the sake

  “Grace is free, undeserved goodness and favour of God to mankind.” Mathew Henry   T ragedies have a strange tendency of uniting us. When they strike, we see in us a mysterious surge of brotherhood… All of a sudden, extending a little helping-hand seems natural to us… Well, I agree if you think, that I am generalizing this phenomenon… Forgive me for that, Sir. Exactly a year ago, when Corona Virus exploded into a Pandemic across the globe, almost all of us were gripped by fear and uncertainty. Some of us, including myself, didn’t step out of our doors for months. But, I remember during those initial total- lockdown days, hundreds of young men and women going out of their way to reach out to those who were panic-stricken… Some with supply of groceries, some with medicines, some with a helping hand by coordinating things with hospitals or graveyards. Here, I am talking about lay people like you and I… Doctors, Nurses, Police and those on essential services… yes, they remain

  “If you wouldn’t follow yourself, why should anyone else?” John C. Maxwell   A week ago, a young girl, who was scheduled to face interviews for MBA programmes from some premier institutes, contacted me. She wanted to refer my name to these institutes as her ‘Teacher’. I was more than delighted. This girl, who I had taught for three years during her degree college, had many strengths. One of them was, that she was very ‘dependable’. She was committed, punctual and communicative. I was just a teacher for her. In this respect, her commitment referred to each of her session with me. She rarely missed any. And, very rarely, when she had to, she would communicate with me beforehand, negotiate; sometimes, try to reschedule with mutual consent. She always showed up before time. Again, very rarely, if, for some reason, she found it difficult to be before time, she would call me up and let me know about it… She did her assignments within the scheduled time period… I never had to coax he

  “The more I live, the more I think that humour is the saving sense.” Jacob A. Riis S ome twenty-three years now, since I watched the movie, ‘Life is Beautiful’. If you haven’t watched it yet, I strongly urge you to do. Let me spoil some of your movie-watching experience, by telling you the key plot… I am doing it to tell you this: Life, often, may seem extremely unpredictable and tough. But, if we can learn to laugh at our Fate, yes, Life can be beautiful… J ews in Europe just happened to be there when Hitler’s Nazi decided to wipe them (Jews) out from the land. If you and I were Jews, and happened to be there, then, we would have met with the same cruel Fate at Nazis’ hands… The family of Guido, his wife Dora and their little son Giosue just happened to be there… Dora was not a Jew. She was almost abducted by Guido from her would-be groom, because he was madly in love with her. When Nazi soldiers came to grab the family, Dora could have saved herself by revealing that she wa