IN THE MIDST OF MY RESTLESSNESS

 



“All of them had a restlessness in common.”

John Steinbeck

 

In the midst of my ‘restlessness’, suddenly, I found myself writing these down:

 

Trying to please others…

Trying to change others…

Trying to prove something to others…

Trying to cope with others…

Trying to find security in life…

Trying to seek approval from others…

Trying to make others happy…

Trying to explain something to someone…

Trying to be perfect in everything…

Trying to look smarter, better, wiser than others…

Trying to hold on to my beliefs and possessions…

Trying to control everything…

Trying to fulfill my dreams through my children…

Trying to depend on others for my happiness or security…

Trying to eradicate fear, envy, anger, hatred from my life…

Trying to be guilt-free

Trying to be stress-free…

Trying to be worry-free…



I am not done with it, yet…

I think, restlessness comes in me when my energy gets drained.

‘Trying’ is not just another word… It’s a very, very cherished ‘value’ in my life. Right since birth, I have been encouraged to ‘Try, try and succeed at last’. So, dropping my trying behaviour is akin to living like a vegetable… Right?

“Hold on”… “Don’t give up”… These are the clarion calls, which, essentially, have their roots in the core value – ‘Trying’.

It’s only when I get caught in the vortex of ‘restlessness’ in my soul, that I become aware of my incessant trying…

Is ‘struggle’ another name for ‘trying’?

I think so.

So, I go through the long list of my ‘trying’, just to trace the source of my restlessness… Rather, my ‘energy drainers’:

Am I trying too hard to please others? Change others? Control others? Explain to others?

Am I trying too hard to become Stress-free? Fear-free? Guilt-free? Worry-free?

Am I trying too hard to find security in my life?

Am I trying too hard to seek others’ approval?

Am I trying too hard to fulfil my dreams through my children?

Am I trying too hard to be happy?

And, am I trying too hard to make others happy?

 



Well, let me repeat what I said: ‘Trying’ is a good-old value in life. But, alongside, the good-old wisdom reminds me, that, in life, there is a time to ‘try’, and there is a time to ‘rest’…

And, this wisdom, strikes right in the midst of my ‘restlessness’!

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic's.: pixabay


Video: Love Furry Friends -  Rescue Channel

 

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