IN THE MIDST OF MY RESTLESSNESS

 



“All of them had a restlessness in common.”

John Steinbeck

 

In the midst of my ‘restlessness’, suddenly, I found myself writing these down:

 

Trying to please others…

Trying to change others…

Trying to prove something to others…

Trying to cope with others…

Trying to find security in life…

Trying to seek approval from others…

Trying to make others happy…

Trying to explain something to someone…

Trying to be perfect in everything…

Trying to look smarter, better, wiser than others…

Trying to hold on to my beliefs and possessions…

Trying to control everything…

Trying to fulfill my dreams through my children…

Trying to depend on others for my happiness or security…

Trying to eradicate fear, envy, anger, hatred from my life…

Trying to be guilt-free

Trying to be stress-free…

Trying to be worry-free…



I am not done with it, yet…

I think, restlessness comes in me when my energy gets drained.

‘Trying’ is not just another word… It’s a very, very cherished ‘value’ in my life. Right since birth, I have been encouraged to ‘Try, try and succeed at last’. So, dropping my trying behaviour is akin to living like a vegetable… Right?

“Hold on”… “Don’t give up”… These are the clarion calls, which, essentially, have their roots in the core value – ‘Trying’.

It’s only when I get caught in the vortex of ‘restlessness’ in my soul, that I become aware of my incessant trying…

Is ‘struggle’ another name for ‘trying’?

I think so.

So, I go through the long list of my ‘trying’, just to trace the source of my restlessness… Rather, my ‘energy drainers’:

Am I trying too hard to please others? Change others? Control others? Explain to others?

Am I trying too hard to become Stress-free? Fear-free? Guilt-free? Worry-free?

Am I trying too hard to find security in my life?

Am I trying too hard to seek others’ approval?

Am I trying too hard to fulfil my dreams through my children?

Am I trying too hard to be happy?

And, am I trying too hard to make others happy?

 



Well, let me repeat what I said: ‘Trying’ is a good-old value in life. But, alongside, the good-old wisdom reminds me, that, in life, there is a time to ‘try’, and there is a time to ‘rest’…

And, this wisdom, strikes right in the midst of my ‘restlessness’!

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic's.: pixabay


Video: Love Furry Friends -  Rescue Channel

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...