Gerald D'Cunha

  “They come through you, but not from you; and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’   T here are some things we inherit from our fathers. If we wish to call them DNA or genes, let’s do. But, to blindly put it on our fathers is plain ignorance… It’s not fair! The saying, ‘Like father, like son’ – ‘As is the father, so is the son’ – has come from the Latin origin: “Qualis pater, talis filius”. But, I don’t think, that it is so either in Rome or anywhere else in the world! Between the father and the son, no doubt, there is blood connection. But, there is, also, that invisible, yet all-powerful, filter called ‘Our Choices’… Yes, just as the father made his own choices, the son makes his own. Period. My father was a born extrovert; I was a born touch-me-not! He, regaled strangers with his raw talent for singing (Konkani folksongs) at every available social venue; I desperately hid myself from everyone! He was an andhb...

On Sunday, when my wife and I had gone to watch ‘Premium Rush’, we met our friends Sunil and Komal in the theatre.  I said ‘friends’… Yes, they are. However, about twenty-five years ago, they both were my students. Both were keen to do Chartered Accountancy after their graduation. Doing Chartered Accountancy had always been tough… very competitive… With tight results, even the brightest kids had to repeat the exams, very often.  But, I do not remember seeing either Sunil or Komal approaching their dream with any sort of over-anxiety… They weren’t neurotic, panic-stricken, at all, as far as my memory goes back.   Yet, both of them achieved their coveted goals smoothly… Yes, with appropriate amount of passion, commitment and focus.  Today, both of them are well-placed in their field. Yash is the only child of Sunil and Komal, who, now, is doing his eleventh standard Science. Incidentally, Yash had been under me in our grooming sess...

I was just 16 when I watched the famous Kannada film, ‘Bhootayyana Maga Ayyu’. Translated into English, it means: Bhootayya’s son Ayyu.  It was 1974. I was a typical teenager. This movie has forever remained etched in my mind. For the last few days, I have been thinking about this movie… Maybe that, the story is so timeless… and, the characters in the movie are so real. Just like the high-voltage drama of Ramayana and Mahabharata, the drama in this movie, to me, hits with the same directness. Time and time again. All epics have the same theme: the battle between the good and the bad. And, all of them, invariably, end up with the same message: the good triumphs over the bad. That, fear, anger, hatred, revenge and envy… these are the forces within our soul which can drive us to do destructive things. And that, love, compassion, peace, tolerance empathy, forgiveness, and reconciliation… these are the forces within our soul which can drive us to do ...

“A rag-picker’s son will always remain a rag-picker As long as he has the vision of a rag-picker.”     ‘Rag-picking’, here, is just a metaphor.  In life, anybody, with any condition, will remain ‘so’ – the ‘anybody’ – unless he breaks himself free from his condition. Yes, break free from his past conditioning. My father was a mechanic. He would come home, each night, with his greasy clothes and hands. I remember, as a young boy, admiring my dad for the hard work he would put to raise us up… to break free his sons from being mechanics in life. Yes, I adored my dad for the hard work. But, I also did not like to see him with his clothes and body soaked in grease… I wanted to free myself from that bondage. My dad also had a huge weakness: he drank like a fish! He would lose hold on himself… and, I remember growing up with lots of humiliation and embarrassment. Yes, it contributed to my shyness and inferiority complex. ...

That is difficult. I am so used to viewing everything - viewing the world around me - from the windows I am already used to, the windows opened for me by 'others' ... So, to open a new window, means I am 'aware' ... That, to genuinely appreciate anything in life, or any one for that matter, I need to view them with my new eyes, I need to open a new window ... Re write the whole programme on a fresh, blank CD. Last night, I watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' with my family, and loved it immensely. For almost a fortnight, we heard the heated debate so much, that it was very difficult to see the movie with new eyes. The mind had been influenced by the critics, film makers, actors respected journalists - yes, from a tycoon to a slum dog, every body had tried to 'comment' about the movie. "Just forget about the debate - 'us' Vs. 'them', and simply enjoy the pure cinematic experience ..." a critic had written. "Don't watch 'Sl...