Gerald D'Cunha

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most miserable have become the most compassionate.”  - Kahlil Gibran   A while ago, I was talking to an elderly woman on phone. Though she lives with her family, she sounded a lot ‘alone’… I said, ‘a lot alone’… It took a long time for me to know how different are ‘being lonely’ and ‘being alone’… For all of us, ‘being lonely’ is how it starts… Our daily conflicts, disappointments, regrets, misunderstandings, fights, struggles, and lack of trust and love –- yes, that’s where the loneliness sets into our hearts… We resist, we blame, we argue, we live in self-pity and denial… and we keep living in that state till we realize the futility of all this –- living in victimhood. Lack of trust and anger slowly turn into poison. Frankly, till we do not realize it –- how poisonous our heats have turned –- there is no way we can realize how ‘being lonely’ is different from ‘being alone’… So, the elderly wo...

  “Stillness is the language God speaks, and all else is a bad translation.” — Eckhart Tolle   I met this doctor friend of mine after many years when I rejoined the Tai Chi classes. He is a gentle soul; and his presence and speech, always, have a   calming effect on me. Every Sunday morning, after our Tai Chi session, we both sit in a nearby Mani’s restaurant for a simple cup of tea… During those few minutes there, we discuss anything that is simple and light… But, I don’t know if what we discussed this morning was simple and light… One of the relatives of my doctor friend (Age 56) is at a terminal stage of cancer. She and her husband have come (from Dubai) to stay at the residence of my doctor friend for undergoing Chemotherapy in one of the hospitals in Mumbai. “Presence of loved ones around can help the recovery process,” I said. “That’s true,” said my friend, “However, one can be lonely even when surrounded by several loved ones around. Inner issues ne...

  “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.” — Brian Herbert   L earning shouldn’t stop. This means, we should be lifelong learners. But, then, there are thousands of things out there, which we won’t be able to learn… Did I say, “We won’t be able to learn”? Yes, I did… For, as Brian Herbert says, “The ability to learn is a skill.” And, skills need to be honed, developed, finetunes –- either on our own (self-develop, like Ekalavya did), or under some experts and trainers… What is interesting to note is, that our ability to learn (skill) is sandwiched between our capacity to learn (gift/talent) on one side, and our willingness to learn (choice) on the other… How interesting! Take swimming for example. I think, I am capable of learning it, and I am, certainly, able to learn it. But, if I have no willingness to learn it, it clearly tells, it is because I make that choice -- not to learn. This lu...

  “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin   T his morning, I met an old friend after several years. When he told me where he presently lived, I exclaimed, “Wow, that’s one of the most prominent locations.” “That’s what everyone says; but, not we who live there,” my friend said. The building, as I said, was located at one of the most expensive areas. The ground floor housed luxurious clothing and jewelry brands. Each floor had just one huge flat… Each flat owner possessed a matching car, as well… Then, why was my friend saying, “but, not we who live there”? My friend explained: “Ours may be a hot property and we may be owing flats worth several crores…   But, the irony is, that we can possess only one car even if we can afford to own more… To park our cars, to get them out and to get them in… it’s our daily challenge. Then, there is noise, dust, and endless honking… Visitors have to park their cars almost a mile away and come w...