Gerald D'Cunha

“A nd, dad, I am not your 26-year-old ‘young son’, I will be completing 28 coming September… So, I am almost a 30-year-old ‘Man’! My son pointed to a mistake I had done in one of my recent blogs. “Oh, No, my son!” … I started counting from 1991 – the year I married to my wife… and from 1992, the year our son was born… That made him, in ‘Sound of Music’s’ famous words - ‘I am 27… Going on (going to be) 28’! Often, our own spouses remind us as to how many years we have coasted together and our own children remind us – like our son did yesterday – how old they have really become! But, let me tell you this: I am neither ashamed of this ‘slip’ from my end… nor do I consider myself an incompetent and uncaring husband or father… Nobody had trained me to be a husband or a father… I had to learn it along the uncharted course… just like every one else had to, has to and will have to. E very time the planning takes place, around me, for a gr...

Pic.: Shankar Ramchandran T wo days ago, I watched the latest Hindi movie, ‘Kapoor & Sons’ with my wife. We both loved the movie… The story was simple and relate-able. Yes, as most of the viewers had done, we, too, laughed and cried as we watched the movie… The scene that moved me the most was the car accident. As many of my readers are yet to watch the movie, I wouldn’t tell, here, what happens in this car accident. To me, that scene was one of the brilliantly captured scenes of Hindi or any movies. There was no warning before the accident or any melodrama after it… Only this song in the background: “Saathi re thoda thehar jaa Abhi raastein kuch badal se jayenge O saathi re thoda thehar jaa Yeh paanv bhi ab sambhal se jayenge” I went numb while I was listening to this song … “Why do we make such a big deal about the other persons’ behavior – be it our spouses, sons, daughters, sons-in-law or daughters-in-law, uncles and aunts, nieces ...

  Pic.: Sherry Haridas   “Some people feel the rain; others just get wet.” - Bob Marley W hy don’t we open up easily before others? Opening up before another person means exposing our vulnerabilities… and, that’s something very, very scary! But, then, unless we trust another person and open up, expose our vulnerability, we really can not feel the closeness… we really can not build a rock-steady relationship with another human. Our unpleasant experience comes on the way of our readiness to open up, become vulnerable… The fear of being perceived weak, fear of being attacked, coming out hurt, fear of being misunderstood, controlled, manipulated and even destroyed and so on… So, even if our hearts prompt us to open up, show our vulnerabilities to the other person, the mind overpowers us… doubt and fear bring about lack of trust, and, consequently, we remain in our shells… Closed… I magine, if I...

Many a times, I wonder as to why, at one time, I am willing to accept and accommodate another person in spite of his or her huge flaws… and, why, at another time, I am put off by his or her very minor blunders!  Yes, I do find in me the strength, grace and space to accommodate the other person’s flaws, when I am overwhelmed by what is good and special in him. When I choose to see – acknowledge, honor, respect and celebrate – what is good and special in him, nothing else seems to matter. My mind drops its judging, my eyes overlook the ugly side, and my heart simply rejoices the presence of another fellow-traveler along my life. Let me tell you this: when I choose, consciously, to acknowledge, honor and celebrate the specialness in other person, a silence comes to reside in my heart… It is peace… It is an amazing experience. It makes me feel safe, secure and loved… It makes me feel worthwhile, confident and rich! On the other hand, when I a...

I remember, when I was in High School, there was one particular teacher who I adored. I would die for his attention, would try to impress upon him always with my best behavior. I would long to receive his attention to me - even a fleeting glance; his little praise would make my day… and, many a times, just his thoughts would make me feel strong, cared for and safe.  However, meanwhile, a strange thing would happen inside me. Whenever, I did not receive the attention I was longing for, I would feel sad and lost. When he gave too much attention, to someone else, I would feel jealous. And, occasionally, when this teacher – my adorable teacher – said something not nice, even though it was for my good, I would silently resist. I always come across, every year, a couple young students, both boys and girls, exactly feeling the same way when it comes to me. Because they adore me, they must be craving for my fleeting glance, they must be longing to h...

Help me Lord To keep alive in my soul Eternally The flame of love… Love with real care, Love with hard, long patience, Love with profound faith, Love with enduring resilience, Love with childlike hope, Love with Herculean strength… Yes, help me Lord To love… To grow in it… In LOVE. Lord, You have not condemned me to the hell-fire Even though I am so full of sins; Help me do the same with my fellow-men… To love them despite their sins, Never, ever to sit on a judgment seat, Help me to weed out the sins From the garden of their souls… And pick only the lovely roses… Yes Lord, as You do with me. Help me Lord To triumph over my insecurities and fear, Love giving freedom… Enough space to breathe and grow, Love with out losing my zest, Love without turning bitter in life... And never ever to love As per my swinging moods. Help me Lord How to give, How to receive, And how to grow… In LOVE. ...