THE LESS I JUDGE, THE BETTER THE FRIENDSHIP FEELS















When it comes to technology, and particularly the use of social media, people like me can be safely classified as ‘Slow Learners’… aka ‘LDs’… the ones who suffer from a learning disability.

I have been writing notes in my diaries ever since I was an adolescent… I did not know, then -  that’s some 42/43 years ago - that writing my notes was a self-healing therapy. Computer hadn’t come to our village… and the internet and the social media hadn’t made their place into the dictionary, yet

So, by the time I learnt to operate a computer, my son and my students were already Geeks… fast, furious and impatient. Some of my courteous students patiently sat next to me and helped me open a Blog… Slowly they helped me open my FB account, so that I could share my blog posts on FB. It was a new-found world for me, and, obviously I was excited. But, I heard my son saying, “Dad, you are opening your FB account when many of us are closing ours.” My young son went on to educate me on what’s the latest there outside…

“Let it be son,” I confessed before my son, “I will never be able to catch up with you guys… Let it be.”

Thus, slowly and steadily, my FB friend-circle grew… Some I added and some added me… Some dear and near ones and some outright strangers… A few of my dear old-students could not accommodate me when I sent them a friend request… That’s when I learnt that they had already reached the maximum limit of 5,000 friends on FB!

One of them, who is now highly allergic to FB, and its likes, comments and shares, told me, without mincing any words, “Sir, out of the 5,000, I could count hardly a dozen as my ‘true friends’… I am sick of it now!”

And, here was I allowing myself to be afflicted by that ‘sickness’!

Mercifully, I have been spared, so far. The sickness – of getting a high through likes, comments, shares and praises and wishes – hasn’t spread deeply into my system. As long as I am able to reach out to the ones who want to read my posts, I am okay. Beyond that, I have no stupid expectations that my FB friends are true friends… just as hundreds of them feel about me. Yes, let’s face it. We will only have a handful of – maybe just two or three – true friends in life…

The rest will be just for numbers…  and, let’s accept this reality gracefully.


Late last night, a dear friend of mine, a doctor, forwarded this lovely poem (by Vineet Panchhi) without adding a single word to it. And, I, too, quietly forwarded it to a couple of my own achche, safed friends… But, soon, I stopped and thought this way: “Why should I judge someone as my ‘true’ or ‘untrue’ friend, when I know we can’t be… We all can just ‘BE’!

Therefore, I wrote this Post… and shared the poem…








The less I judge, the better the friendship feels, you see.



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Mr.Popat/Rajan

Video.: YouTube/www.VineetPanchhi.com



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